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PRESENTED BY 



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MEMOIRS 



MRS. MARY COOPER, 



OF LONDON. 



WHO DEPARTED THIS LIFE, JUNE 22, 1812. 



IN THE TWENTY-SIXTH YEAR OF HER AGE. 



Extracted from her 



DIARY AND EPISTOLARY CORRESPONDENCE. 



BY ADAM CLARKE, LL. D. 



NEW-YORK, 

Published by N. Bangs and J. Emory, at the Methodist 
Bookstore, Crosby-street, 

4- Hoyt, Printer 
/ 1825. 



•X 







ADVERTISEMENT. 



xHE editor of these papers had the pleasure of & 
short acquaintance with the late Mrs. Cooper, eldest 
daughter of John Hanson, Esq., a worthy and respect- 
able magistrate of the county of Middlesex; and, in 
conjunction with her friends, he deplores the premature 
death of a woman, of whom he feels no hesitation to 
say, that her understanding was sound, her mind care- 
fully cultivated, her charity unbounded, her faith un- 
feigned, her piety deep and rational ; and her religious 
life without blemish. This is certainly saying a great 
deal; but not more than the subject most completely 
warrants. 

The mind of Mrs. Cooper was of no common mould ; 
and this, her Diary, and Letters, from which the follow- 
ing extracts are made, sufficiently prove. The Diary 
she had kept carefully concealed, even from her most 
intimate friends ; and certainly never wrote it to meet 
the eye of man. As her heart dictated, and as occur- 
rences presented themselves, so she wrote. To speak 
incorrectly she could not : to wait to revise and polish, 
she had neither time nor inclination, as she wrote exclu- 
sively for her own instruction ; and the improvement of 
ber heart was the grand object at which she aimed. 
When this was attained, the manner in which it was 



IV ADVERTISEMENT. 

accomplished was of no importance ; as the whole, from 
beginning to end, was designed to be a secret correspond- 
ence with herself. Let this be the apology of the work, 
where the matter may appear diffuse and inartificial ; and 
the language negligent. To have suppressed the follow- 
ing extracts on such accounts, would have been a real 
injury to all who shall have the opportunity of reading 
them : as it may be safely presumed, that no unpre- 
judiced person can peruse this little volume, without 
having his heart religiously affected, and his mind con- 
siderably improved. 

The advantages which this excellent young woman 
derived from a religious education, were many and im- 
portant. Her pious parents taught her to fear God from 
her youth. The great and momentous truths of the 
religion of Christ, they carefully inculcated on her mind 
and heart, from her earliest years : they showed her, 
not only in their precepts, but also in their life and con- 
versation, how she should walk and please God. They 
were workers together with him, and he blessed the 
work of their hands. In all the branches of their very 
respectable and orderly family, they have proved the 
unfailing truth of that divine saying, Train up a child in 
the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart 
from it. They have dedicated their children to their 
Maker, and God has most graciously accepted the offer- 
ing. 

Were a proper line of conduct pursued in the educa- 
tion of children, how few profligate sons and daughters, 
and how few broken-hearted parents should we find. The 
neglect of early religious education, connected with a 
wholesome and affectionate restraint, is the ruin of mil- 
lions. Many parents, to excuse their indolence, and 



ADVERTISEMENT. V 

most criminal neglect, say, " We cannot give our chil- 
dren grace." What do they mean by this ? That God, 
not themselves, is the author of the irregularities and 
viciousness of their children. They may shudder at this 
imputation ; but when they reflect that they have not 
given them right precepts — have not brought them under 
firm and affectionate restraint — have not showed them, 
by their own spirit, temper, and conduct, how they 
should be regulated in theirs — when either the worship 
of God has not been established in their houses, or they 
have permitted their children, on the most trifling pre* 
tences, to absent themselves from it — when all these 
things are considered, they will find, that, speaking after 
the manner of men, it would have been a very extraor- 
dinary miracle indeed, if the children had been found 
preferring a path in which they did not see their parents 
conscientiously tread. 

Let those parents who continue to excuse themselves 
by saying, We cannot give grace to our children, lay their 
hand on their conscience, and say, whether they ever 
knew an instance where God withheld his grace, while 
they were in humble subserviency to him, performing 
their duty ? The real state of the case is this : parents 
cannot do God's work ; and God will not do theirs : but 
if they use the means, and train up a child in the way he 
should go, God will never withhold his blessing. 

Next to the grace of God, Mrs. C. carefully owned, 
that all her first and permanent religious impressions 
were owing to the pious affectionate care of her parents 
and to that judicious and affectionate course of discipline 
under which she was early brought up. At first, she 
thought her parents too strict, while absolutely prohibit- 
ing the fashionable, though deeply vitiating amusements 
1* 



VI ADVERTISEMENT. 

of the world. These prohibitions led her to look at 
home for enjoyments ; she began to examine her own 
mind, to pant after useful knowledge, to seek God as her 
portion; and in these she found a source of pleasure, 
producing millions of gratifications, of which the gay, 
the giddy, and the garish, never dream, and can never 
enjoy. She then most gratefully blessed God for her 
religious and well conducted education, which was the 
means of preparing her heart to receive the fulness of 
the blessing of the gospel of peace, when she came to 
hear it preached in that way in which her soul delighted. 
Those who were best acquainted with her, knew that on 
this account, her gratitude was not only great to God, 
but also to her parents ; to whom she ever felt a con- 
tinually growing and affectionate attachment. 

Before this very important subject is dismissed, the 
editor begs leave to present the candid reader with ano- 
ther remark : It is not parental fondness nor parental 
authority, taken separately, that can produce this bene- 
ficial effect. A father may be as fond of his offspring as 
Eli, and his children be sons of Belial : he may be as 
authoritative as the Grand Turk, and his children despise, 
and plot rebellion against him. But let parental autho- 
rity be tempered with fatherly affection ; and let the rein 
of discipline be steadily held by this powerful but affec- 
tionate hand ; and there shall the pleasure of God pros- 
per ; there will he give his blessing, even life for ever- 
more. Many fine families have been spoiled, and many 
ruined, by the separate exercise of these two principles. 
Parental affection, when alone, infallibly degenerates into 
foolish fondness ; and parental authority frequently dege- 
nerates into brutal tyranny, when standing by itself. The 
first sort of parents will be loved, without being respected : 



ADVERTISEMENT. Vll 

the second sort will be dreaded, without either respect or 
esteem. In the first case, obedience is not exacted, and 
is therefore felt to be unnecessary ; as offences of great 
magnitude pass without punishment or reprehension : in 
the second case, rigid exaction renders obedience almost 
impossible, and the smallest delinquency is often punish- 
ed with the extreme of torture ; which hardening the 
mind, renders duty a matter of perfect indifference. 

In editing the papers of Mrs. C, very few liberties 
have been taken, except in the mere article of abridg- 
ment. Here and there, a few errors have been correct- 
ed, and some expressions altered. Much of her MS. 
has been left unpublished, either because it was of a pri- 
vate nature, concerning herself and family alone ; or 
because it was not judged to be such as. would tend to 
general edification. The editor has never mingled his 
own observations with his text: what he found neces- 
sary to say, in order to introduce distinct parts, he has 
done by connecting sentences ; which, in every place, 
are easily distinguishable from the words of that excel- 
lent person who is now with God. May the spirit in 
which she lived and died, rest abundantly on every 
reader! A. CLARKE. 

Jan. 1, 1814. 

The following character of Mrs. C, as a wife, was 
drawn up by him who was best qualified to do it. 
Writing to a friend, Mr. Cooper says, 

" Her Diary will best develope her character, respect- 
ing which, I ought to state, that no one ever knew she 
kept one. I myself had not the least idea of it, until it 
was discovered after her decease ; although for the few 
happy months of our union, we were of one heart and 



Vlll ADVERTISEMENT. 

soul, and were almost daily conversing together in the 
most unreserved manner of our experience in the things 
of God. 

" What she appears, in that precious record she has 
left behind, that she was in real life — a Christian indeed* 
She was not content with the ordinary attainments of 
Christians ; she might be truly said to adorn the doctrine 
of God, her Saviour, in all things. The influence of the 
religion of Jesus, was seen and felt by all around, in her 
holy walk and conversation, and by the manifestation of 
every Christian temper. 

" I believe I may say with perfect truth, that I never 
saw any thing in her, from the time of our marriage till 
the day of her death, that was inconsistent with that ho- 
liness after which she continually aspired, and which 
she enjoyed in an eminent degree. During that period 
she never once gave the least pain to my mind; nor do 
I recollect having observed, in a single instance, any 
temper or disposition unbecoming a Christian. 

" During the principal part of her married life she 
suffered much bodily indisposition, on which account she 
was in a great measure prevented entering into those 
schemes of usefulness for which she was particularly 
formed, and which her benevolent heart cordially ap- 
proved ; but, in her family, it was her daily study to 
prove a blessing to all about her ; and she was much 
concerned that our servants might have reason to bless 
God for bringing them under our roof; and she had the 
happiness of seeing that her prayers and endeavours for 
that purpose were not in vain. 

" My dear little girl found in her a mother ; indeed, 
had she been her own child, she could not possibly have 
given stronger proofs of maternal tenderness, affection, 



ADVERTISEMENT. IX 

and care. Previous to our marriage she carefully read 
Mrs. Hannah More's writings on education, as well as 
some other authors on the same subject, that she might 
be the better qualified to discharge what she considered a 
most important duty, viz. (to use her own words) J to cul- 
tivate and rear this immortal plant for the paradise of God. 1 * 

" She was of opinion that religion ought to be inter- 
woven with the instructions of children, as soon as their 
tender minds are capable of receiving it : accordingly, 
she began with our little Margaret as soon as we were 
married ; she was then two years old ; and so assiduous 
was she in her instructions, that in a short time her in- 
fant pupil could repeat the Lord's prayer, and three or 
four of Dr. Watts's hymns for children. 

" The same grace which prompted her to a life of 
active piety and usefulness when in good health, enabled 
her to bear suffering, when called to it, with exemplary 
patience and resignation. I never once heard an ex- 
pression of murmuring or impatience escape from her 
lips. In her I had a living example of the efficacy of 
divine grace, and the blessedness of true religion. She 
possessed a remarkable simplicity of mind, which led her 
to embrace truth wheresoever she found it, though deli- 
vered in the plainest and most homely form. She was 
also a possessor of much genuine Christian humility ; 
not indeed of that which consists in mere expression, 
but of that which led her to prefer others before herself; 
and notwithstanding she possessed more than ordinary 
intellectual attainments, as well as more than common 
piety, she carefully avoided a display of either, and never 
suffered others with whom she might be in company to 
feel any inferiority. 

* See Diary, 15th June, 1811. 



X ADVERTISEMENT. 

" In her Diary she says, ' Mental accomplishments 
avail little indeed, unless they regulate the heart, and 
cause the benefit to be more felt than seen; I must not 
display, but act; love, and be beloved.' On these maxims 
she uniformly acted. 

" It would be easy to say more ; but I am persuaded 
it is not necessary. 

"J. C." 




MEMOIRS OF MRS. COOPER. 



Of the early life of the late Mrs. Cooper a near relative gives 
the following account: 

" Miss Mary Hanson, eldest daughter of John Han- 
son, Esq., was born in London, Sept. 16, 1786. She 
was favoured with a religious education, and was not 
suffered to enter into those foolish amusements which 
are so injurious to multitudes of young persons. 

" At twelve years of age she left school, and comple- 
ted her education under private tuition. This, with the 
encouragement held out to her application and improve- 
ment by an intelligent and affectionate brother, proved 
the means of exciting, in her ardent mind, that thirst for 
knowledge which ever after proved a source of constant 
delight. Her early years were passed in comparative 
solitude, her parents rightly judging that the example 
of youth, in general, afforded but few instances worthy 
of imitation. But at the time, she thought this a very 
unnecessary strictness, and envied those whose less cau- 
tious parents suffered them to form acquaintances with- 
out inquiry or concern. 

" At this period, and previously to her leaving school, 
she often felt deep convictions of her own sinfulness, 
and the absolute necessity of personal religion. I have 
known her frer— rt *itly at school assemble several of the 
girls fr'-et 1 <arge closet, and there speak to them, 

and ( j much earnestness, that they have been 

all melteu to tears. These impressions, however, were 
but as the * morning cloud, and early dew,' and were sue- 
qeeded by a very different disposition of mind. In the 
summer of 1802, she for the first time left her parents' 
house, on a visit to Portsmouth and the isle of Wight ; 
where the natural gayety of her mind, which had been 



12 DIARY OF 

hitherto under restraint, meeting with objects congenial 
to its taste, appeared in all its ardour. Card parties and 
gay visits were now her delight ; and I have often heard 
her say that she endeavoured to disbelieve the Bible and 
the existence of a God. The reflections of her retired 
moments were now so intolerable to her, that to drown 
them she read, with her accustomed avidity, volume 
after volume of novels and romances. Fascinated with 
the world and its manners, she returned home with a 
mind little disposed to enter into those serious and self- 
denying views of religion, which the Spirit of God had 
wrought in the minds of three in her own family during 
her absence : she, however, attended with them at the 
Lock chapel, where the judicious and intelligent preach- 
ing of the Rev. Mr. Fry, first arrested her attention, and 
then excited in her mind an earnest concern for the sal- 
vation of her soul. She soon became a member of the 
Lock, by receiving the sacrament administered accord- 
ing to the form of the church of England, which she 
always preferred : she also united herself with a society 
called a conversation meeting, under the superintendence 
of her minister, for the purpose of spiritual advantage 
and instruction ; and exerted herself, to the utmost of 
her power, to instruct a large class of girls in the Sunday 
school of that society. But her removal to Hammer- 
smith, in the spring of 1803, put a period to this work 
of love in which she so much delighted ; and it was not 
until the year 1806 that an opportunity again occurred, 
of resuming her successful endeavours to impart know- 
ledge and light to the benighted minds of the ignorant 
poor : this she did, not only on the sabbath, but constant- 
ly twice in the week ; for she devoted her evening hours 
to instruct them in writing, arithmetic, &c." 



In the year 1806, Miss Hanson began to note down her religious 
experience, rather by way of meditation and reflection than diary : 
for it does not appear that she began to keep a regular diary till 
1809. From the age of seventeen she had renounced the world, 
being fully persuaded that none of its pleasures or pursuits could 
impart happiness to her immortal spirit. For a considerable time 



MRS. COOPER. 18 

she was a plant that flourished in the shade, and her real worth 
was little known; but had God in his providence called her to a 
more public situation in life, such were her natural abilities, and 
so highly had she cultiva#d them, that she would have ranked 
high among those excellent and intelligent women who are an 
honour to our country. An extract from the meditations, men- 
tioned above, will more justly portray her character than any 
thing that could be said by auy other person. The first entry of 
this kind is dated in her twentieth year. 

July 20, 1806. 
" Happiness is the universal object of pursuit ; but 
bow various are the ways which men propose to them- 
selves for its attainment ! When the desired object is 
possessed, alas ! it also has inscribed upon it * vanity 
and vexation of spirit.' The hope still remains that the 
next attempt will prove more successful ; but alas ! it is 
not in the power of finite creatures to impart it. God, 
in his wisdom, has made us dependant on himself for 
happiness ; he has given us a free will, to choose this 
world for our portion ; or himself, from whom flow 
pleasures for evermore. Sin has so bewildered, so dark- 
ened the faculties of our souls, that every thing beyond 
what is finite is enveloped in a mist. Revelation, the 
best gift of God to man, unfolds the glories of an invisi- 
ble world. The solitude I have so long enjoyed, and 
yet, alas ! so little improved, has often led me to retire 
into my own mind, and converse with my heart. I have 
discovered a jewel, little prized because little known. 
This treasure, bestowed on all God'% creatures, when 
improved, may become a source of consolation and feli- 
city that will make them superior to the contempt of men, 
and the agitations of disquietude. I feel convinced that 
to improve my intellectual powers is to have in store a 
constant spring of delights : it may prevent me from 
running into those snares which are held out as baits 
to the vacant, listless mind. But let me not forget that 
inward monitor, that soul bestowed upon me ; that it is 
immortal, and will return to God who gave it, and that 
it is made capable of happiness or misery beyond this 
visible state. The thread of life, so very slender, so 
soon broken, is in the hand of God. ! thou Searcher 
of hearts, cold and senseless as I am to spiritual things, 
2 



14 DIARY OF 

let not a consideration, at once so awful and impressive, 
pass over my mind without its due weight. 

August 10, 1806. 

The cultivation of patience and meekness, both person- 
ally and relatively, is of the utmost socio/ importance. 
If meekness in the sight of God is of great price, how 
must the possession and exercise of that spirit promote 
the peace of the possessor, and diffuse the charms of kind- 
ness around. In a moral point of view, the government 
of the passions, when heathenish darkness prevailed, was 
esteemed the highest pitch of moral perfection ; -and wor- 
thy the endeavour of every man. Socrates proved how 
the exercise of his reason could subdue dispositions of the 
worst kind ; mental energy could repress passions, which, 
if unsubdued, would, like a torrent, bear down every thing 
before them. If a man, destitute of the meridian light 
of revelation, ignorant of the purity of the Deity, sur- 
rounded by superstition and pagan brutality, could thus 
triumph over himself, how should a Christian blush, who 
indulges every rising disposition, and suffers passions to 
be unchecked, which disturb the harmony of social in- 
tercourse, and exclude the sweet breath of peace ! 

I desire to live and act as in the sight of God ; of him 
who gave an example of what his followers should be. 
Professors of religion, while they study to preserve out- 
ward decency and circumspection of deportment, too 
often stop there. — This is a stumblingblock to many. 
Is this all Christianity has effected ? Was it for this only 
the great sacrifice^was made ? Blush, Christian ! and be 
not called by that holy name while you indulge dispo- 
sitions and propensities which are in direct opposition to 
the lovely spirit of the gospel. It breathes love and be- 
nevolence. The old nature of passion, revenge, malice, 
and envy, is to pass away, and the new nature of meek- 
ness, gentleness, and easiness to be entreated, to take 
its place. — It requires both holiness of heart and life. 
Hence the serenity of the Christian is secured : and he 
is made capable of tasting that peace which passeth all 
understanding. 

December 21, 180C. 

The happy retirement with which Providence has so 
Jong blessed me, affords me many opportunities for re- 



MRS. COOPER. 15 

flection, and the exercise of those powers with which 
man was endowed, — the remains of his high original ; 
for, in the image of God was man created. An immor- 
tal being should be a reflecting being, whose chief end 
is to glorify God. I should then deem it a privilege, 
that the means afforded to me are so favourable to my 
improvement in virtue and the knowledge of my Creator. 
My knowledge of the world has been sufficient to con* 
vince me, there is nothing in it capable of satisfying a 
soul formed for eternity. Happiness eludes our grasp 
like the moonlight shadow : if sought in the amusements 
of life, an hour's reflection discovers to us the dismal 
vacuum. Satiety often succeeds enjoyment. Amidst this 
general gloom, this chaos of disquietude, how delight- 
fully does Christianity break in. It tells us not to love 
the world, nor the things of the world i our own experi- 
ence proves the substance of all it contains ; vanity, vex- 
ation of spirit. Are we left helpless in this state ? no ! 
consolation to the afflicted — repose to the weary — safety 
in danger — comfort in death, are all offered freely ; and 
are all sealed to those who will accept of them by the 
blood of the Son of God. Christianity smooths the rug- 
ged path of life : it fills the soul with a divine compo- 
sure : creates at times a heavenly calm and foretaste of 
the blessedness in reversion. When alone, to reflect 
that God is with you, his Spirit engaged to assist and 
sanctify you, and Christ to justify and save you — 
divine consolation ! let me fear nothing so much as a de- 
parture from God, as a carelessness about my soul ; a 
thoughtlessness about eternity. In departing from thee 
I depart from happiness. To fear thee is rectitude, to 
know thee is wisdom, and to love thee felicity. 

November 1, 1807. 
When in secret retirement I reflect on the many illus- 
trious saints who have sojourned here on earth, who have 
had to contend with inward and outward trials and vex- 
ations: when farther I view them in the chamber of 
death, hear the last groan that can ever escape them ; 
and trace their flight to those realms of blessedness 
where no sigh can ever enter to interrupt the harmony 



16 DIARY OF 

of the skies, or the internal repose of its inhabitants — 
whence is this lukewarmness of soul, this indifference 
which so successfully takes possession of my spirit? 
Why am I not animated by the review of those who have 
fought and triumphed, and have attained those mansions 
of everlasting rest ? 

Now, that outward circumstances so much conspire to 
render a life of religion easy ; blessed with every exter- 
nal help ; how is it that the world claims so large a por- 
tion of that heart which I would fain give up entirely to 
my Maker ? my God ! what reason have I to dread 
lest future days should find me enslaved in sin ; greedy 
of the pleasures this life affords. let not that heart 
which has tasted the delights of communion with thee, 
those lips which have spoken thy praise, ever prove so 
treacherous to the beneficent author of my being ! 

When I view time and eternity as to their effect upon 
the soul, I am convinced how low sunk in sin must my 
spirit be, which thus practically mismeasures them. 
In a little time ruin will drive his ploughshare o'er this 
creation ; the thunder of heaven will burst with tenfold 
violence ; the lightnings will make the impending gloom 
tremendously visible ; the elements shall become the in- 
struments in the hand of the Deity, to proclaim to man 
that the hour of retribution is come ! By terrors shall 
they now learn, that time is to be now swallowed up in 
the ocean of eternity. 

Fast Day, February 17, 1808. 

As indisposition deprives me of the use of public ordi- 
nances, I will attempt to supply the want of them by a 
more particular examination of my own heart. 

On this day, wisely appropriated for a season of na- 
tional self-recollection and repentance, I would not have 
myself added to the number of those, who defeat the 
purpose of the institution by a coldness and indifference, 
or total neglect of its due observance. 

As in the sight of God, I would search out those secret 
sins, which have so much separated me from those di- 
vine consolations and gracious influences which I believe 
I once experienced , and here I blush at the recollec- 
tion, that to my closet I at once trace the cause of all 



MRS. COOPER. 17 

those heart- wanderings, that spiritual indifference, which 
alas ! has too often grieved the Holy Spirit who has stri- 
ven with me. 

" I hate the sins that made thee mourn, 
And drove thee from my breast." 

Prayer, by which only that mysterious communica- 
tion between the Creator and his creatures can be main- 
tained : prayer, which has sometimes introduced a very 
heaven into the soul ; the most exalted and blissful em- 
ployment of finite creatures ; that which angels behold 
with delight, and devils tremble to view : alas ! alas ! 
how often has a stupid indifference been substituted for 
this. I have entered my closet, have shut the door, and 
strangely forgotten that the eyes of the Lord were upon 
a stupid senseless creature. Little did the humble pos- 
ture of my body accord with a rebellious stubborn heart, 
alive to every thing but its eternal interests ! 

Prayer, formally, carelessly performed ; — my God ! 
I confess with shame and confusion of face, that from 
this I trace pride, self-sufficiency, worldly-mindedness, 
and an indifference to those ordinances which once filled 
my soul with calm delight. 

Sometimes, indeed, when I have asked my own heart 
on entering upon my devotions, ' What is it you need 1 
God knows and beholds you.' Then have I been ena- 
bled to pour out my soul in confessing my sins, and have 
found lively impressions of the presence of God ; and 
have arisen determined to be more diligent in obtaining 
an acquaintance with my own heart. But a few days 
have shown me the treachery of my intentions, and the 
impossibility, without the assistance of God's Spirit, of 
maintaining any thing like the life and power of religion 
within me. The grace of God, like a spark in the ocean, 
can only be kept alive by a miracle. 

0, thou gracious Being! do thou pardon these my 
misdoings, do thou purify my soul from its many cor- 
ruptions, and let thy blessed Spirit strive once more 
within me. O, renew my soul ! place eternity, with all 
its blissful enjoyments before me, that I may choose thee 
for my portion and happiness. 

The vain ancj unsatisfying enjoyments of this world, 
which have had so much influence on me, O let them 
2* 



18 K DIARY OF 

fade from my remembrance ; let me view them in their 
true colours, and feel them in their deceitful tendency. 
Lord, thou didst create me for immortality. When the 
breath of life entered this corruptible body, I became a 
sojourner in a land which yields not fruits of such a na- 
ture as are sufficient to satisfy a soul journeying to ano- 
ther country ; may I live before thee for ever ! 

Sunday, February 21, 1808. 

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, that 
maketh the Lord his portion ; who, with eyes filled with 
tears of gratitude, can say, * The Lord is my shepherd.' 
Blessings, beyond mortal calculation, are included in 
this personal appropriation. 

Thus to regard that God, of whose approach thunders 
and lightnings were the symbols, when about to dis- 
pense his laws to his creatures ; to call him by that en- 
dearing epithet — what a mysterious privilege ! My soul, 
do thou diligently seek to be included in the number of 
that blessed flock. He who said ' Let there be light,' 
and there was light ; who, by an act of his will, created 
man : and, but for infinite love, might have destroyed 
him when he broke the only command imposed on him ; 
he who taketh up the isles as a very little thing, who 
counteth the nations as a drop of a bucket — even this 
God proposes himself for thy portion, my soul ! 

Lost in the contemplation of thy attributes, teach me, 
O Lord, to comprehend how it is, so intimate a relation 
as a father and child can subsist between thee, who art 
infinitely great, and a rebellious lost child of Adam ? It 
is enough ; that holy word, inscribed by the pen of mer- 
cy, exhibits it to my understanding. I would wonder 
and adore. 

Why did I not behold the light in regions where stocks 
and stones are the objects of adoration ? why do I not 
owe my origin to parents who have substituted Moham- 
med for Christ ? To distinguishing mercy alone, we owe 
the privilege of reading that blessed word, which a few 
centuries ago was denied to all but a domineering priest- 
hood. my God, how imperfect is the attempt to ac- 
knowledge the gratitude I would feel in. having parents 
who fear thee; who have taught me thy word, and 



MRS. COOPER. 19 

brought me up with a reverence for thy ordinances : my 
heart, so prone to be rebellious, so alive to vanity, so 
negligent of self-inquiry, what would it have been, or 
rather, what would it not have been, had they intro- 
duced me to the follies, and the dissipation to which 
thousands, less distinguished than myself, have become 
a ready prey : a prey to that enemy who ever watches 
the unwatchful ; who lurks to destroy ; who strows the 
paths of youth with snares and baits, that he may carry 
them captive. 

If, after the enumeration of such privileges, I should 
be found a mere speculative believer, a practical Atheist, 
how great the condemnation. 

If religion be true, it ought to be the grand object of 
my life — the supreme concern of my heart. 

April 8, 1808. 

When the world, with its siren smiles, tempts us to 
drink deep of its enjoyments ; when it would allure us 
into the paths of security, and whisper peace to the soul ; 
youth, unsuspecting youth, fondly believes it true. In 
the spring of life, how many sweet-scented flowers meet 
us in our path ; while regaling our senses with their 
beauty, we forget that winter will seclude them from our 
view — that darkness succeeds to light, and that calms 
precede storms. When disappointment lowers, and the 
cloud of affliction seems just ready to burst ; then it is 
the world is stript of its mask, and its true character 
rushes on the view. Life is a chequered scene. As 
soon as our frail bark is committed to the mighty deep, 
the waves and billows of disquietude roll over our heads. 
If religion be the pilot, we are safe in the storm. I de- 
sire to lay the foundation of my happiness upon that rock, 
against which the afflictive uncertainties of this life must 
dash in vain : on this foundation the peace of my soul 
shall rest secure. 

The firm persuasion I have of a particular providence, 
of the divine superintendence in every affair of my life, 
will console me under every disappointment. When I 
view mankind, their disappointments, miseries, disease, 
and wretchedness, and see that each individual has a 
cup of sorrow to drink : I feel surprised that this world 



20 DIARY OF 

should ever appear alluring to my eyes ,• that it should 
ever lay siege to my heart with so much success ; that 
the things relative to another world should be so dimly 
viewed, so little prized. Religion, if it be sincere, must 
be the prevailing disposition of the mind ; it must super- 
sede every thing else ; it must be a progressive work, 
and the soul must be preparing for a state of perfect 
holiness." 

For about four years after the family went to reside wholly at 
Hammersmith, Miss Hanson devoted a considerable part of her 
leisure time to the improvement of her mind ; and in this she 
found a source of pleasure, which she valued far more than those 
empty pursuits, which engage the attention of too many of her 
own age; and it appears from the following memorandum that 
she pursued some method in her studies. 

May 2, 1808. 

"The practice of early rising will, I hope, afford me 
ample opportunity of pursuing the following course and 
arrangement of reading : 

Begin every morning with reading a chapter in the 
Old Testament, and one in the New. 

My devotional exercises to succeed. 

Monday — History, with Maps. Gibbon's Rome to 
succeed Ferguson's Republic. 

Tuesday — Natural history in turn, comprising botany, 
chemistry, and astronomy. 

Wednesday — History. 

Thursday — The English poets, make extracts from 
each ; and one chapter of Locke on the Understanding. 

Friday — Natural history. 

Saturday — History. 

Sunday — The Scriptures, and other devotional books." 



In October, 1808, the gentleman, whose ministry she then at- 
tended, died. This circumstance seems to have affected her mind 
deeply; and, in consequence, she was led to make the following 
serious reflections. 

October 6, 1808. 

" The remains of our beloved pastor, the Rev. W. 
Humphries, I have this day seen consigned to the silent 



MRS. COOPER. 21 

tomb. His grave has been bedewed with the tears of 
his sorrowing flock ; who have committed to the cold 
ground a man who possessed every grace that could en- 
dear a minister to his people. Such a life, and such a 
death ! may they be engraven on the tablet of my re- 
membrance ! Angels have conveyed him to the bosom 
of his Redeemer : and there he rests from pain, toil, and 
sorrow. Death has introduced him to that inheritance, 
that mansion of bliss prepared for him. Whilst we, en- 
compassed by dull mortality, mourn on earth, he has 
reached his port, tl\e haven of celestial rest. The glo- 
ries of the eternal world are gradually unfolding on his 
astonished sight ; and now, could he once more address 
us, how forcibly would he urge the importance of press- 
ing forward in the heavenly road, and of laying hold on 
eternal life 1 

May I ever remember what a shining light he was, 
how the rays of his benignity were shed around on all 
who knew him. The image of the Redeemer was stamp- 
ed on his life and conversation. Like him may I be de- 
voted to God, and find in devotion a resource and re- 
freshment to which my weary soul may betake itself, and 
find the dawnings of heaven. The soul, that immortal 
principle, which will survive the conflagration of the 
universe, was formed to live for ever : and that dissatis- 
faction, attendant on the possession of every earthly 
good, that vacuum which nothing sublunary can fill: 
that proneness to look forward in search of something 
yet unpossessed : how does all this prove its immortal 
destination ? A heavenly spark which first emanated from 
the Deity. may I more diligently converse with my 
own heart : and feel more practically the immense im- 
portance of living to the God who made me. 

Sunday, Oct. 16, 1808. 
The services of this day have been so peculiarly so- 
lemn and affecting, that I desire to make a memorial of 
the impressions made on my mind. At once sensible of 
the immense importance of Christianity, and the levity 
and thoughtlessness of my heart, I wish to improve by 
reflection those seasons when my mind has been im~ 
pressed, and my affections raised to those spiritual ob? 



22 DIARY OF * 

jects, which I earnestly trust will be the portion of my 
soul for ever. Our dear minister has left us : at the 
summons of his God, his soul took its flight to the regions 
of eternal bliss ; but his example, his life, and holy con- 
versation, which the voice of friendship has so faithfully 
detailed, still lives in my remembrance : lovely in life, 
O how lovely in death ! When I gazed on his remains, 
which still bore the impress of that serenity with which 
he met the summons of death : how ardently did I pant 
for a share in that salvation which, in such a season, 
could encircle the brow with composure, the spirit with 
delight. Let me view his life : the young were the pe- 
culiar objects of his solicitude : for them he laboured, 
and by ten thousand nameless instances won upon their 
affections, and made them admire the piety so influen- 
tial in himself. He sought the Lord early, and his pro- 
gress was never impeded by the indulgence of worldly 
habits. He continued steadfast in bis course, and by his 
life and conversation evinced how practical Christianity 
shines ; how superior to a mere speculative reception of 
its truths — to a flaming zeal about certain doctrines, 
which, while they engage the head, freeze the heart, and 
limit that spirit of benevolence which diffuses the charms 
of kindness to all around. His sun has set at noon. He 
was ripe for the heavenly inheritance : his gentle spirit, 
disencumbered of mortality, is now in possession of that 
happiness purchased by the Son of God ; * who wept that 
man might smile, who bled that man might never die.' 

Why is it that my soul is so content with earthly fare ? 
why does it lay schemes of bliss below the skies ? why 
are my affections so engrossed by material things, while 
that spark of fire divine, which ought to flame with love 
to God, is unimproved ? alas, how oft is this unnoticed. 

November 15, 1808. 
To a social mind, pleasures derive an increase of en- 
joyment from communication ; and sorrows which op- 
press the heart, how greatly are they alleviated by the 
kindness of a sympathizing friend ; by the balm of affec- 
tion poured into the wounded heart. But there is a 
melancholy which tinges every rising pleasure with dis- 
content, which repels consolation ; its existence in the 



MRS. COOPER, 23 

mind is nurtured with mournful delight, and, unsatisfied 
with this world, it disdains its offered comforts. 

Thus I feel and acknowledge the mercy, mingled with 
judgment, that appoints to each probationer for heaven 
a cup of sorrow ; were it not for this, the soul would 
grovel here below, it would become captivated with 
earthly possessions, nor glance a thought on the appoint- 
ed end for which it exists. The gold would never be 
separated from the dross ; were it, instead of passing 
through the furnace, to be exposed only to the sunshine, 
there it might lie for ever unaltered. Prosperity is a 
severe trial to the Christian ; when the path is strowed 
with roses, and nature, attired in loveliness, invites us to 
gaze and be satisfied with a paradise here below, how 
readily does the heart obey its dictates ; how disposed 
to lose itself in the possession of present happiness ; and 
to forget that winter, with an unsparing hand, will dis- 
mantle nature of its beauties ; that the clouds will gather 
blackness, and the big tempest burst upon our heads. It 
is then in despondency we look around, and ask for the 
1 sea that knows no storms ;' for the port in which the 
mariners will find an exemption from the waves and bil- 
lows of disquietude. O my God, let me seek thee in 
health, and thou wilt be near me in sickness ; be thou 
the supreme object of my regard in prosperity, and then 
I shall not have to look around in vain for comfort, when 
chill adversity lifts its correcting hand ; in seasons like 
the present, when my spirit, pervaded with gloom, finds 
no comfort but in aspirations after thee. O from Hea- 
ven, thy dwelling-place, lend a listening ear, make me 
to pant after thee ! May I never feel a stupid indiffer- 
ence and lukewarmness in the pursuit of an eternal ex- 
emption from pain and sorrow. 

Eternity ! thou pleasing, dreadful thought — Time, 
what is it ? a moment, a vapour, a shadow ; all, all com- 
parison fails. Eternity is a boundless ocean, in which 
the emancipated spirit shall enjoy the smile, or sustain 
the frowns and vengeance, of the Deity for ever," 



24 DIARY OF 

The six following months she appears to have devoted, in a pe- 
culiar manner, to the cultivation of her mind, in various branches 
of useful knowledge *, the study of history still being paramount 
to all others : and yet not pursued so as to exclude more serious 
subjects 5. for with this she frequently connected a deep consider- 
ation of her eternal interests ; as the following extracts from her 
journal sufficiently prove : 

November 18, 1808. 

" I find considerable pleasure in Gibbon'' s Decline and 
Fall of the Roman Empire ; it is a great monument of 
human genius and human fallibility. His invidious al- 
lusions to Christianity, I was prepared to meet ; when 
entering on it, I begged of God to guard my mind from 
error, and not to suffer me to imbibe its skeptical spirit* 
My mind is perhaps in a degree fortified, by a previous 
examination of the evidences on which our religion rests. 
Where I have thought Gibbon's representations of eccle- 
siastical facts have been obscured by the darkness of 
his mind and intentions, I have referred to the same 
period in Milner's Church History, and am not left to 
draw my conclusions of Christianity from his represent- 
ation of its progress and adherents ; if I were, my infer- 
ences would be very unfavourable. 

In the pure and invigorating atmosphere of the Roman 
republic, in which one delights to trace the progress of 
civilization, freedom, conquest; and philosophy ; the hu- 
man intellect was cultivated to a high pitch of perfection ; 
but this state was succeeded by a gradual prostration of 
the minds of men. In reflecting on the cause of this, I 
was reminded of the case of a man, who, beginning with 
but little property, gradually amassed a large fortune, 
for the attainment of which great assiduity and exertion 
were necessary ; he omitted nothing likely to improve 
and accelerate the objects of his pursuit ; riches are in- 
creased, large estates purchased, he sits down at his 
ease, and thinks of nothing but enjoyment; luxuries 
steal upon him, and he becomes more and more ener- 
vated ; you look in vain for the industrious, persevering, 
self-denying man ; no trace is left ; and his successors 
become enchained to their estates : their faculties, not 
being exercised, grow torpid ; their talents are swallow- 



MRS. COOPER. 25 

e4 up in sensuality ; they are slaves to their passions, 
and they become slaves in their country. 

December 25, 1808, 
The cultivation of my understanding has long been 
my aim and desire, and the time usually devoted by those 
of myj own age and sex to pleasure and frivolity, has 
been spent in more rational pursuits. The restraints of 
education were, in the first instance, imposed upon me : 
this yoke I impatiently bore ; but when, by the mercy of 
God, I was made sensible of the vanity of worldly pur- 
suits, and their dangerous tendency ; and, above all, was 
convinced that I had an immortal soul within me, that 
an omnipresent Deity was the witness of my actions, the 
searcher of my heart and intentions ; I was, I trust, 
made desirous of choosing God for my portion. Man 
must have recreations, resources, pleasures ; the im- 
provement of the mind, of the reasoning faculties, appears 
the noblest and most rational of indulgences. Know- 
ledge has been so captivating to my imagination, that I 
have with eagerness snatched every spare moment for 
its attainment. While endeavouring to scan the great 
arcana of nature ; to trace the finger of the Deity in 
every production ; to mark his obvious designs in every 
creature of his hand ; with what a double relish have I 
viewed the works of the great Creator ; how has my 
heart glowed with joy in exploring these fields of novelty 
and information ; nothing so much tends to exalt our 
ideas of God ; nothing is so calculated to produce hu- 
mility : nature is open for our perusal, and, by its beau- 
ties, alluring to the observer. How powerfully does the 
immensity of the great Creator strike the soul, when 
contemplating the starry hosts, when wrapt in astonish- 
ment, the spirit rises to the stars, and views them as the 
creation of its Father's hand. ! endearing title ; 
though he dwells in the highest heavens, he has also his 
residence in the humble and contrite heart ; which is as 
much the object of his care as if it alone existed. 

When dissolving nature shall proclaim that the hour 
of retribution is at hand ; when the rocks and mountains 
shall prove a vain defence against the piercing eye of the 
avenging Deity ; that I may hail the moment as the 



26 DIARY OF 

time of my complete happiness, when soul and bodyj 
once more united, shall rise to eternal happiness. Why 
do I ever linger in pursuit of such a prize ? It is my 
desire to have a greater acquaintance with God and his 
works, and more humbling views of myself. I wish to 
strive against every appearance of vanity , conceit, and 
self-sufficiency. Knowledge, without wisdom, puffeth .' 
up : I would, in this respect, watch my heart. 

History I much delight in ; and the perusal of Rollin, 
Ferguson, and Gibbon, has not only entertained, but 
much instructed me. To be made acquainted with the 
transactions of ages long since passed away ; of empires 
which once existed in all earthly splendour, now known 
only in the scanty page of history ; to trace the actions 
of great and virtuous men, though involved in pagan dark- 
ness ; their love of virtue, so far as they knew it ; their 
patriotism, which led them to sacrifice all for their coun- 
try ; how entertaining and instructive ! The History of 
Greece, in a lively, forcible manner, portrays the effects 
of freedom and philosophy. Pericles, Aristides, So- 
crates, Epaminondas, all successively rivet the attention 
and excite admiration. 

The career of these great men was generally closed 
by the effects of the blackest ingratitude from their 
countrymen ; their sun, which rose in splendour, and 
ascended to its meridian without a cloud to shade its 
glories, set in blackness and darkness ; their services 
forgotten in the torrent of envy and malignity which 
obscured their last days. Painful are the instances of 
the vicissitudes of fortune ; dreadful the effects of the 
unrestrained passions of men : but how obvious, to a 
reflecting mind, is the superintendence of Providence 
over the creation. Great men, raised up for peculiar 
ends ; kings, who had grossly abused their diadem, and 
made their supreme power the instrument of intolerance 
and oppression to their subjects, are made to lick the 
dust ; and, hurled from their splendour, feel the bitter 
pangs of remorse. Nations who have filled up the mea- 
sure of their iniquities, become successively the prey of 
barbarians: all work together for some great political 
universal good ; all proclaim his care, who at once view? 
causes and effects, and sees from beginning to end. 



MRS. COOPER. 27 

Christianity certainly lost much of its primitive sim- 
plicity when Constantine made it an appendage to the 
state. His patronage introduced numbers into the 
church who made religion a worldly gain. Pampered 
in courts, its adherents lost sight of our Saviour's decla- 
ration, c My kingdom is not of this world.' The church 
became rapidly corrupt. The fifth and sixth centuries 
present a most awful picture of the abuse and degene- 
racy of Christianity ; a slight difference of opinion was 
sufficient to arm the opponents with swords, and every 
weapon that could in any wise injure their adversary. 
The worship of images, the supremacy of the bishop of 
Rome, seemed to proclaim the reign of antichrist : and 
Mohammed the impostor was certainly destined to 
scourge those Christian nations who had provoked God 
by their idolatrous antichristian acts. 

I could not read the dissemination of his principles, 
and the rapidity of his conquests, without viewing the 
just judgments of God on those nations, who seemed 
sensual enough to admit just such opinions, and such a 
religion, as Mohammed was about to enforce upon them, 
by the power of the sword. O God, thy judgments are 
just and righteous altogether ! 

January 1, 1809. 
* We take no note of time but from its loss.' 
I have just closed another year of my mortal account ; 
it is an epoch which demands reflection, as, ere the close 
of the present one, the angel of death may swear that 
time with me shall be no longer. As the veil which now 
separates me from eternity may be drawn aside, and the 
realities of a future state burst on my astonished soul ; 
it becomes me, therefore, as a being on whom God has 
bestowed an immortal spirit, to make ready, and to live 
in daily expectation of an event, which, from its uncer- 
tainty, is of the utmost importance ; and from its conse- 
quences, of tremendous moment. — Strange the infatua- 
tion that there can be triflers on the brink of such a 
precipice ! The beasts of the field, the birds of the air, 
all fulfil the appointed end of their existence ; shall I, 
endued with a rational soul, an immortal principle, live 
to myself, confine my hopes, views, and expectations, to 
this transitory state, this commencement of being. 



28 DIARY OF 

where thorns and briers annoy my path ; and where 1 
may tomorrow be bereft of every comfort ? Forbid it, 
God ! make me more diligent, more earnest in my de- 
sires after thee ; more watchful over my own heart ; and 
more willing to prepare myself, by a holy life, for the 
enjoyment of thy presence for ever. Let not my ear- 
nestness in the pursuit of knowledge be a snare to me, 
either by occupying too much of my thoughts, to the 
exclusion of devotion, or by making me proud and osten- 
tatious : rather let it be an increasing cause of humility, 
never to estimate nor regard people according to their 
acquirements, but according to their character and good 
sense t for, had they possessed opportunities and advan- 
tages equally favourable to the improvement of their 
minds, they might have exercised their talents to better 
purpose. By the cultivation of my mind, the exercise 
of my reason, I hope, in future life, to fill up my station 
more rationally, and with a greater share of propriety 
than those who either have not had, or have voluntarily 
neglected, the same means of improvement. To be rea- 
sonable in my judgment, liberal in my opinion, benevo- 
lent in my intentions, will, I hope, be the lasting prac- 
tical effects of my present desires of information : ever 
to remark the great chain of Providence, every link of 
which is necessary to the completion of his designs. 
. The inequalities of good and evil in this life ; the suffer- 
ings of virtue, the triumphs of vice : all this will be 
cleared up at the day of retribution. It is God who com- 
mands the raging of the seas, who, for wise designs, per- 
mits the existence of evil. - 

January 22, 1809. 
I feel the importance of a consistent and uniform de- 
votedness to religion ; and desire diligently to cultivate 
my heart, to watch over the risings of irregular tempers, 
and to repress every irritable thought. How delightful 
to be the means of infusing serenity and benevolence ; 
to cheer the path of life by an habitual disposition to 
extract sweet from bitter : — the thorn from the rose ! 

Religion ! what does it effect, unless the heart be trans- 
formed ; meekness should take place of anger ; kindness 
of revenge ; love of hatred. To be decided in this mo- 
mentous contest, to wage a constant warfare with the 



31RS. COOPER. 29 

natural corruptions of the heart ; this habitual decision 
alone can give that peace which the gospel proclaims to 
be the portion of the upright. The heart must be devo- 
ted to God ; the breathings of the soul must be after him ; 
conformity to him must be the predominant principle of 
the soul. The wheels of time are rapidly rolling on ; 
the contest, though it be severe, is short : and what is 
life ? ! it is all important ; here we perform our little 
part ; but ah ! an eternity depends on the right improve- 
ment of time. By the word of God I shall be judged ; 
how deeply conversant ought I then to be with its sacred 
contents, not to peruse it with the same carelessness as 
another book, but diligently to study it, and to meditate 
upon it. I ought to keep stated seasons for prayer and 
meditation. I should not be discouraged by want of 
fervour ; for though the duty be at first discouraging, 
yet, by persevering in the use of the means, a blessing 
must ensue. O God ! enable me thus to act. 

January 30, 1809. 
In such a night as this, when every rising blast chills 
the soul, and threatens destruction to all around, 1 am 
ready to say, the Lord is abroad : who can now say, I 
rest securely ? who is safe but he who can wrap himself 
in the arms of Omnipotence ? and who defies storms and 
tempests to separate him from his love, who carries the 
lambs in his bosom? The righteous only shall abide 
under the shadow of the Almighty. Tempests remind us 
of thy existence, O God, of thy superintendence, and of 
our feebleness and dependance upon thee : the shakings 
of the nations, the concussions of the elements, all pro- 
claim thy judgments. — 0, that they may not speak in 
vain ! To lay up a treasure in heaven, that is wisdom ; 
and though this life be troublous, and its path thorny, 

'* Why grievous these appear, 



If all it pays for heaven's eternal year *, 
If these sad sobs, and piteous sighs, secure 
Delights that live, when worlds "no more endure/' 

This is only a state of probation : born that we may 
live for ever: why then should the delights of earth 
allure us to that precipice of pleasure, whence the soul 



30 DIARY OF 

dares not look beyond present enjoyments : it is a pre- 
cipice, and a dangerous one. Death may receive its 
commission to summon us before his tribunal who de- 
mands the whole heart, who hates divided affections ; if, 
instead of acting as immortal beings, we live in a state 
of sensation little superior to the brutes, whose appe- 
tites alone guide them ; how awful must the state be 
when the union is dissolved between the body and the 
living principle within ! When its faculties are no longer 
corporeally clouded, no more shackled by sense ; how ex- 
quisite must be its feelings, how changed its capacities. 
May a constant preparation for the eternal world be a 
paramount consideration with me. — May I have habitual 
desires of acquaintance with God, and cultivate a spirit 
of dependance upon him. O, that the Spirit of God 
may enlighten my eyes, and illuminate my dark benight- 
ed soul. 

February 19, 1809. 
The grand resurrection of nature is now approaching, 
and the mind, attuned to contemplation, dilates with joy 
in listening to the first warblings of the grateful songsters ; 
their cheerful notes seem their tribute of praise to him 
who has fed them in the past season. The embryo blos- 
soms, kind nature has preserved with much care, now 
burst forth. There lives and works a soul in all things ; 
and that soul is God. — How rich is nature in amuse- 
ments ! its varieties, what a field for curiosity, wonder, 
and interest ! The mind, abstracted by these delightful 
speculations, is independent \ sources ever within re^ach, 
while they fill the mind with rapture, and point to' the 
great First Cause; they instruct the heart; and, while 
the heavenly hosts fill the skies nightly with silent pomp, 
make us exclaim, Lord, what is man ! And when an 
apprehension arises, that amidst the infinity of his works 
so insignificant a being might be overlooked, the unbe- 
lieving suggestion is quelled by the volume of nature ; it 
is he that causes the grass to spring forth ; it is he that 
gives the fowls of the air their food : he careth even for 
them ! how much more then for man, whose being he 
sustains ; and who was created in his image. The Chris- 
tian desires to consecrate all his pursuits to the service 
of God ; and whether bis providential dominion be traced 



MRS. COOPER. 31 

in history or in philosophy, all may be made subservient 
to the great end of our existence. To improve and cul- 
tivate the rational powers is worthy of an intelligent 
being, on whom God has bestowed an active living prin- 
ciple, independent of that body which is, for a season 
only, its companion : this will mingle with the dust ; but 
the soul, capable of pleasure and pain, will survive the 
world, and know no end. 

Childhood is a state of probation for manhood, and 
this life for another. Virtue and vice, in a degree, re- 
ceive their reward in this life ; not completely so ; it is 
the prerogative of Omniscience alone to assign hereafter 
rewards and punishments. I must then conclude that 
the chief business of my life should be to secure the 
favour of my Creator ; I am not' left to wander in the 
mazes of philosophy, the erring dictates of fallen reason ; 
their light was indeed darkness, darkness visible. Reve- 
lation, that meridian sun, has opened a way of access to 
the offended Deity: justice and mercy are reconciled, 
and man may be a partaker of the blessings of salvation. 

April 30, 1809. 
How delightful is the contemplation of the works of 
God ! my enraptured eye runs over the. productions of 
the earth with a curiosity and interest that never leave 
me : the passing clouds, the opening flowers, the sweet 
river, whose constant changes give a variety to tht- 
scenes, how successively do these steal on my imagina- 
tion, and ofttimes how inexpressible is my gratitude for 
receiving from the hands of God so many outward bless- 
ings ; and a mind capable of drawing the truest delight 
from them. But, 0, yon beauteous cloud has vanished, 
and the flowers which I delight to view will fade and 
die ; nature, and all her loveliness, is but transitory in 
her duration. Time with me has a destined period ; but 
time is a loan, of the misimprovement of which my God 
will require a strict account. Does not reason imperi- 
ously demand that the Author of my being should 
receive the homage of my heart? thus far it goes, but no 
farther. Revelation takes me up where reason leaves 
me ; it has drawn aside the veil, and made manifest a 
mode of access whereby the Deity receives into the arms 



32 DIARY OF 

of his love the ereature who had revolted from his govern- 
ment ; but who returns with penitential tears, and asks 
for mercy through the atoning sacrifice. 

O, my soul ! do thou press forward with more alacrity 
in the heavenly road ; much is to be done ; a corrupt 
heart must be renewed ; the motives of thy conduct 
must be traced to the love of God ; every attainment in 
knowledge must be consecrated to God, must be subser- 
vient to the end of thy being ; and humility must mark 
every part of this deportment. How much is to be done ! 
but what is the alternative ? — Endless blessedness, or end- 
less misery. 

By prayer, and dependance on God, I hope to over- 
come that slothfulness of spirit which has so much pre- 
vailed over me. I trace much to the loss of time in bed ; 
it has occasioned me to hurry over my devotions, and 
produced a lassitude of mind which has operated sen- 
sibly on all my undertakings. I do propose now to rise 
at or before six, and to offer my feeble orisons to God in 
a more becoming, heartfelt manner. My other studies to 
be orderly pursued. — History, natural and moral philoso- 
phy, particularly Locke's Conduct of the Understanding. 
My heart ought to overflow with gratitude to that Being 
who has so profusely bestowed his mercies upon me. 
Had I lived in a town or city, how would the morning of 
my days have confined my understanding, cramped my 
views and my delights in the works of nature. Retire- 
ment, I thank thee ; from thy calm influence I have been 
taught to seek in an improvement of my understanding, 
pleasures- which live within my constant reach : the su- 
periority of these, to the trifling, unsatisfactory vanities 
of the world have made me hug them to my heart, and 
court their continued influence. 



The following letter, containing the plan of a correspondence 
between her and her eldest brother is a proof of her early atten- 
tion to the cultivation both of her mind and heart : and how much 
sound judgment and conscience were consulted, even in what 
was at that time considered as little else than recreation. 



MRS. COOPER. 33 

Lower Mall, November 5, 1806. 

u My dear Brother — A letter of very ancient date, 
(July 10,) now before me, silently reproves my negli- 
gence : the time which has elapsed might warrant your 
concluding 1 was wholly indifferent about engaging you 
as a correspondent, something or other has hitherto sa- 
tisfied my conscience : farther pleas now fail, and I 
feel happy in the idea of addressing my dear Joseph 
at his own home ; a period which has no doubt been 
anticipated in your youthful days, as an era of liberty 
not then enjoyed : now you are become your own mas- 
ter, your expectations of farther comfort rest in futurity : 
the next step will be that of becoming a family man ; 
and so on. 

I trust our hopes will extend beyond this life, and then 
we shall find a solace in the frustration of those wishes, 
the accomplishment of which is always uncertain. 

Now, that the winter is shutting in upon us, I am will- 
ing to hope you will derive the comfort I promise myself 
in the mutual communication of our thoughts : be our 
personal interviews ever so frequent, our correspondence 
may go on the same : and we may freely express on 
paper those sentiments that perhaps would have remained 
concealed from each other, but for this pleasing medium 
of conversing. You know, my dear Joseph, I am parti- 
cularly fond of shutting myself in my closet on a winter's 
evening ; and there spending some of the happiest mo- 
ments of my existence with my pen or my book : — this 
comfort winter affords me : and I shall find it a great 
delight in these silent hours intimately to receive your 
thoughts on profitable subjects, and to express mine in 
return. I have now to subscribe to the agreement you 
drew up, and shall transcribe it for your use. 

' We do hereby agree to correspond with each other 
in mutual confidence, with mutual desires for each other's 
benefit and recreation; promising mutually to reprove and 
admonish each other with Christian faithfulness, in the 
spirit of meekness : — further, we agree to avoid all di- 
rect or indirect allusions to each other's attainments in 
our Christian calling, unless it be done with a view to 
exalt in each other a deeper sense of our obligations, and 



34 DIARY OF 

to point out the necessity of showing it forth by a more 
devoted life to the service of God ; reminding one ano- 
ther always, that where much is given, much is required." 

I could not have penned an agreement more to my own 
satisfaction : but this I have to remark ; I may not at all 
times feel sincerely disposed to write on religious sub- 
jects — to confine letters to this may prove a temptation 
to express what you do not feel, — this would be hypo- 
crisy. I may, as I am disposed, write my own reflec- 
tions on various moral points, or remark something in 
the course of my reading: at the same time, I agree to 
every part of the above, and would by no means exclude 
that subject which most concerns us. Tell me, with the 
candour which will always pervade our letters, what you 
think of this, and whether you fully coincide with me ? 
I make a point after I have been reading, to run over the 
subject in my own mind, and endeavour to reflect upon 
such parts as appear particularly worthy of considera- 
tion, comparing the sentiments of the author with my 
own — by this method I hope to derive more good from 
reading a little, and digesting that little, than I should do 
from reading thrice the quantity, without thinking of it 
afterwards. I know you adopt this plan : your reflec- 
tions would therefore greatly please me, and perhaps be 
impressed more on your own mind by the communica- 
tion. I believe, my dear Joseph, we are as closely united 
in affection as by relative ties ; therefore, as you observe, 
let us be faithful to reprove each other, and constant in 
writing. If we can by this means promote each other's 
spiritual advancement, we shall have reason to consider 
the talent improved. Let us have an intimate knowledge 
of each other, and do every thing to strengthen an af- 
fection that ought to subsist in full vigour between two 
so nearly allied. 

Believe me, my dear brother, yours, truly, 

M. Hanson." 



The following letter, which is a part of the correspondence 
■with her brother, already mentioned, contains many good senti- 
ments 5 and some which are not of ordinary occurrence : it mark? 



MRS. COOPER. 35 

at the same time, the progress of religious conviction in her 
mind, and how seriously she was then in the pursuit of that, in 
which she afterward found solid happiness. 

Lower Mall, January 20, 1807. 
" My dear Joseph — I am convinced my letters have 
been generally very deficient in noticing the remarks of 
my correspondent ; the mode you suggest will prove 
much more colloquial as well as productive of mate- 
rials : it had never occurred to me how much my letters 
had failed in this respect. Be as candid in noticing 
every thing else that requires an alteration, whether it 
respects discourse or conduct, though I much fear that, 
as our opportunities of seeing each other are so rare, 
the intercourse necessary for reproof will but seldom 
occur; this I regret, for my proud spirit would bear 
reproof administered with your wonted faithfulness and 
love. O ! it would bear it much better from you than 
from any one ; self-will and self-love so often obscure 
our better judgment, and thereby lead us into the ma- 
zes of error, that could the observing eye of a Chris- 
tian friend be near, and just then remind us of the de- 
mands of Christianity upon our hearts, and the humility 
it inculcates and enforces ; would not this check the 
progress of those moral vices upon our hearts ? I some- 
times think it would. But, my dear Joseph, if the 
friend were not near, there is a consideration of far 
greater importance : the eye of infinite purity ever be- 
holds us ! were this consideration oftener present to our 
minds, what a check would it be to the arrogance and 
pride of the heart. For my own part I feel the difficulty 
so immensely great, to maintain in my mind that sense 
of religion in any degree which the Christian must feel 
so as to influence his thoughts, words, and actions, that 
that character seems a wonder in creation. To perse- 
vere to the end, considering the temptations from within 
and without, is a marvellous proof of the efficacy of di- 
vine grace. No wonder so many turn back ; and yet 
when we reflect on the immense importance of preparing 
for a never-ending state of being, how great the delusion 
seems, to think of any thing occupjing and absorbing 
the thoughts of creatures on the very verge of perdition. 
It is consolatory to the mind, my dear brother, amidst 



36 DIARY OF 

these reflections, that our attainment of eternal life does 
not depend on ourselves alone : that grace, that has been 
implanted in the hearts of thousands now in glory, and 
had brought forth fruits to the praise of God, may yet be 
had of him, * whom to know is wisdom, whom to fear is 
rectitude, whom to love is happiness.' 

It is the hope of victory that animates soldiers in bat- 
tle ; they bear temporary privations and numerous hard- 
ships, in prospect of the glory accruing from conquest ; 
and yet how shortlived is that compared with the crown 
of glory for which I trust you and I, my dear brother, 
will fight menfully ; it is for an incorruptible crown, one 
which we shall wear for ever. 



I love retirement, - and would scrupulously avoid ac- 
quaintance with the world ; for to keep in tolerable hu- 
mour with it, it is necessary to know but little of it, and 
to think of the most virtuous of your acquaintance ; for 
when one surveys the characters of people in general, 
and observes the dissimulation pervading most of them, 
it is difficult to preserve that spirit of benevolence that 
ought never to be damped. You tell me you have pur- 
chased freedom from control and restraint at the price 
of additional cares and anxieties. In reviewing the past, 
its evils usually diminish in our apprehensions, while we 
feel the present in their full force. You will find the 
habitual effects of your employing leisure time in the 
pursuit and knowledge of Christian virtues. How de- 
sirable to feel the inclination ! press forward, my dear 
brother, and shine like a candle in a dark place ; you 
are in a new state of trial, sufficient grace for every day 
is promised you *, only sincerely ask, and you will surely 
receive. 

There is something truly delightful in that freedom 
true love ever inspires, in the communication of one's 
inmost thoughts : we were formed social beings, and I 
think the communion of saints, as expressed in the 
creed, must be a mean of accelerating and enlivening 
the affections, and inspiring love and zeal to the Su- 
preme Being. I can freely think aloud to you, my dear 
Joseph, for I greatly hope our correspondence will prove 



3.1KS. COOPER. 37 

a mean of my advancing in that life divine after which 
I sometimes pant. 

I hope it will be convenient to you to write soon ; 
never apologize for any but short letters; none but such 
fatigue me. 

Believe me 

Your most affectionate sister, 

Mary Hanson ." 



Early in the year 1809 Miss Hanson began to attend the preach- 
ing among the Methodists. The first preaehers she heard were 
Dr. Coke and Dr. Clarke. From this period religion became the 
one great business of her life, and she, in a more especial manner,, 
was engaged in doing good to her fellow creatures ; in visiting 
and relieving the poor and distressed, whom she endeavoured to 
instruct by reading the Scriptures to them, praying with and 
speaking to them of spiritual things, and of the eternal world. 
But her own diary is her most faithful biographer; and by it the 
reader will perceive that she now began to take a very different 
view of religion to what she had ever done before. She consider- 
ed it no longer as a system of opinions and moral practice merely, 
but as a icork in the heart, or in other words, the life of God in 
the soul of man ; which, when once introduced, would necessarily 
manifest itself in a full conformity to his will and word, in all her 
passions, tempers, affections, and conduct. On this important sub - 
ject she thus speaks: 

July 2, 180P. 

"For the last two months my attention and readi 
has been much confined to theology : two sermons, 
by Dr. Adam Clarke, and the other by Dr. Coke, preach- 
ed at the Methodist chapel here, roused my inquiry as to 
the peculiar sentiments of that people. 

Those sermons have made a deep impression on my 
mind ; the first showed me, in a manner I was not aware 
of, the connexion of reason and religion, how far they 
were in union with each other, where the one left us, the 
other took us up, and introduced us to the immortality 
of glory ; the other sermon gave a view of religion in 
the soul, of the inhabitation of the Spirit of God : I was 
4 



38 DIARY OF 

roused ; there was a something in their mode of explain- 
ing Scripture, of enforcing the importance of religion, 
of proving the vanity of sublunary things, and the sub- 
lime tendency of religion in exalting the soul and making 
it aspire after a likeness to God, that was new to me — I 
was excited to more exertion ; and from reading the life 
of the Rev. Mr. Fletcher, one of the Wesleyans' bright 
ornaments, I was introduced to a character that filled 
my soul with reverence, delight, and an aspiration after 
that grace which made him what he was. Some of his 
works were lent to me, and all I read confirmed me in an 
opinion of the soundness of their scriptural views. I 
never embraced the doctrines of Qr>£#, but when I 
viewed the scurrility, the intemperance in controversy, 
of some who are called by his name, and compared all 
this with the Christian meekness of Wesley, and his 
amiable advocate Fletcher, I was^onvinced of the good- 
ness of the cause. I saw also that their doctrines, while 
they insured an entire reliance on Christ for justifica- 
tion, demanded an evidence of that by aspiring after ho- 
liness of heart and life ; and maintained that it is by the 
fruits of faith that faith will be judged of at the day of 
judgment. 

The general noncomformity of that sect to the world, 
their zeal in the promotion of vital, practical godliness, 
as far as I can judge, both from their principles and 
practice, proclaim them the followers of the Lamb. I 
rejoice in their introduction to H , and the prospe- 
rity which apparently attends their labours. On the 
Monday evening I go and hear the same truths applied 
to the hearts and understandings of all present ; I hear 
them, I hope, with increasing profit. I have too long 
rested in an admiration of sermons as compositions. Lured 
by imagination and eloquence, I have been charmed ; 
but, alas ! my heart has remained careless, and too much 
disposed to regard reljgion as a general thing, without ap- 
plying it to my own heart : may I henceforward hear as 
for eternity ! O, how much is at stake ! and why do I 
live, if the salvation of my soul be neglected ! When this 
frail tabernacle of clay shall be dissolved, which it soon 
must be, the soul will have burst its fetters, and know 



MRS. COOFEH. 39 

an existence of endless wo or happiness. My lot in life 
is then but of little consequence, for the stage is but short 
on which we act." 



Being about to accompany the family on a visit to Margate, 
she wrote as follows : — 

August 13, 1809. 

" For a while then I am about to leave thee, my dear 
peaceful H- ; the delights of calm reflection and soli- 
tude, which, through the goodness of my Creator, I have 
experienced in this my own room, make me almost dis- 
posed to think happiness local. I go, and shall witness 
the whirl of fashion, and the various expedients fallen 
man devises for filling up that vacuum, that search after 
comfort, to which every breast is a prey. I have expe- 
rienced the vanity and. unsatisfying nature of its enjoy- 
ments. The pearl of great price is the jewel I pant to 
obtain, to have an evidence within my own soul, that the 
spirit which by nature is depraved is renewed by grace j 
that my judgment and affections are purified from sin, 
and that the paramount desire of my heart is to live to 
the glory of my God. Well then, what is change of place 
to me ? I cannot go where my God is not : he pervades 
every place : his Spirit is near to those that seek him ; 
and the soul that has felt and enjoyed sweet communion 
with him cannot be absorbed and satisfied by the vain 
and trifling pleasures this world offers. 

As the means of grace are very various at Margate, I 
trust I shall be able in simplicity of heart to obtain much 
good from them. that the critical spirit which has so 
long haunted me, and robbed me of the benefit the hum- 
ble follower enjoys, may leave me. I go not to hear fine 
compositions, but to hear the word of God faithfully ex- 
plained ; and to prove my own experience by the unerr- 
ing standard of Scripture. I hope to enjoy the delights 
of meditation and reading by the sea-shore ; and, ere 
the bustle of the day approaches, to rise early and seek 
God in his works, and ponder over his ways. that I 
could live more under the impression of the eternal 
world that awaits me, the judgment that will come when 
every man will be judged according to his works* Death 



40 DIARY OF 

will be decisive to my soul, and i dangers stand thick 
through all the ground to push us to the tomb.' O, my 
soul, be not satisfied till thou hast evidence of acceptance 
with God ; till thy worldly and corrupt affections are re- 
newed ; till thou have resigned thyself entirely to God, 
and every wish and desire be subservient to him ! 

To shine as a light in the world, this is the Christian's 
object ; to do good to his fellow creatures, to strive by 
every means to do good to their souls, to visit the sick, 
and comfort those who are cast down. God can give 
strength to the weak, and he does it that his power may 
be made manifest. One instance of his goodness in bless- 
ing feeble means, I would acknowledge in the happy 
death of a dear child who went to the Sunday School ; 
those hymns which I took so much delight in teaching 
her consoled her amidst pain and death. I thank God, 
and would receive this as an encouragement to future 
and more unwearied exertion. I go, not knowing I shall 
ever return ; but I trust I can lay my hand on my heart, 
and say, My trust and dependance for this life and eter- 
nal salvation is on Christ, who died to redeem a fallen 
world ; and who is near to all who call upon him. 

for faith to trust in that word which can introduce 
heaven into the soul, even in the tumultuous ocean of 
life! 

Margate, August 16, 1809. 

After a most delightful passage of nine hours and a 
half, arrived safe at Margate ; every thing, both health 
and company, conspired to render it agreeable. 

The appearance of the town pleases me much, and I 
already anticipate much pleasure, more particularly as 
there are such various means of grace. I hope to have 
my mind kept free for the reception of divine truth, that 
the gayety I shall witness may not draw my heart aside, 
and induce me once again to cull the flowers of pleasure ; 
which, by the fascination of their appearance, lure the 
unwary. 

The noble ocean, on which the grandeur of the. Deity 
is marked in such large characters, will be the object I 
shall most delight to contemplate ; to say, ' My Father 
made it all.' the exquisite sensation arising from such 
an application. 



3IRS. COOPER. 41 

August 17, 1309. 

Had a most delightful ride to Ramsgate, througb 
Kingsgate and Broadstairs ; with the first of these places 
I am charmed : there is great elegance in the appearance 
of the town from the pier ; and as to that beautiful har- 
bour, it delights and astonishes me more than any hu- 
man construction I have ever seen : the sea from thence 
is a most magnificent spectacle. The country through 
which we rode is highly cultivated, and the bounties of 
harvest are just ready to be poured into the lap of un- 
grateful man : how beneficent is the Creator to the 
whole human race ! how seldom is his hand acknow- 
ledged ! he who should be the first in every man's 
thoughts ! Bountiful Creator, how art thou slighted, and 
thy benevolence insulted by its abuse ! Heard a very 
good preacher at lady Huntingdon's chapel ; it was well 
attended. For nearly two hours I enjoyed the lightning 
this evening. I become more and more enchanted with 
the terrible and sublime in nature. To gaze upon the 
ethereal ! flash as it bursts from the bosom of the dark 
thunder cloud, has an effect upon my mind with which I 
would not part for the finest show of art. It was not 
in the direction of the sea, or my admiration would have 
been twofold : whence this delight but from the power 
such spectacles have of raising my soul to the Supreme 
Being j of making me aspire after a union with him 
who is thus terrible in nature ; it excites me to antici- 
pate that day when the lightnings of his wrath shall 
strike the devoted heads of those who have neglected 
him ; when every element will do its part to excite the 
general conflagration ; when an interest in the Saviour 
will secure me an admission into the paradise of God. 
For such a crown of glory, why should I loiter ; why 
should the flintiness of the path make me look aside for 
the broad road of pleasure, in which thousands smoothly 
walk to the edge of the precipice ; and unless arrested 
by the power of God, plunge headlong into eternal 
darkness ! 

August 18. 

Rose this morning at six o'clock, walked as far as 
Newgate on the Cliff; thence we descended to the sands. 
I particularly admire the cliffs about this place : they 



42 DIARY OF 

are beautifully bleached and battered by the waves. A 
most profound stillness reigned ; not even the murmur 
of the sea broke the silence ; nothing, save the fluttering 
of a little bird on whose solitude I had intruded ; it is in 
such a silence the soul delights to expand, and, as it 
were, burst the fetters which confine jt when in com- 
merce with the world. With mingled delight and reve- 
rence I view our sea-girt shore, and those beauteous 
cliffs which have so long defied the power and malice of 
our enemies. I know not why ; perhaps I have now 
a greater power of enjoyment ; but they appear to me 
more charming than any thing I have seen. 

This evening walked half way to Kingsgate ; it was 
very retired, which consequently added to my enjoy- 
ment : there is one eminence which commands a very 
lovely view of Margate and North Down. The clearness 
and serenity of the evening conspired to heighten the 
beauty of the scene ; added to which, the corn in sheaves, 
and the thankfulness with which my heart dilated in 
viewing the treasures of Providence, rendered the whole 
increasingly delightful. O that men would praise the 
Lord for his goodness ! * Ye harvests, wave to him.' 

The accounts I had were so unfavourable, I feel asto- 
nished at the beauties of Margate : the country which I 
have seen is as rich and lovely as I ever saw : — perhaps, 
indeed, few have hearts so susceptible to the beauties of 
nature. ' Not a cloud imbibes the setting sun's effulgence, 
not a strain from all the tenants of the warbling shade 
ascends, from which my bosom cannot partake fresh 
pleasure unreproved.' From this honeyed store ten thou- 
sand enjoyments have hovered over my path, and to my 
capability of deriving reflections from the objects which 
surround me I am indebted for a local repository of com- 
fort. I thank God that retirement and exemption from 
gayety have produced this good. 

On our return, about eight o'clock, we must needs 
peep at the gay Babel, and feel the 5tir ; the town was 
all light and bustle ; the libraries were crammed full 
with gay flutterers, dressed as for an assembly ; the rooms 
elegantly lighted, and all, all vanity ; ' a world ivithouf, 
sou/s.' My soul, come not thou into their secret, lest I 
should practically forsret that I have a soul ; and an im- 



MRS. COOPER. 43 

mortal one ; to save which I must watch and strive 
against temptation ; scenes of vanity and dissipation must 
be avoided ; there is enough within to draw thee from 
God. 0, then, avoid outward temptations : go not 
under pretence of moralizing on its vanity : the experi- 
ment is dangerous. — God and mammon can never be re- 
conciled. 

August 19, 1S09. 

After a pleasant walk of two hours, returned home 
quite refreshed and comfortable. On entering the room 
I found my dear mother bathed in tears, with a letter 
before her containing an account of brother William's 
sudden attack of a most violent fever ; the means pre- 
scribed by Mr. Pearson prove it to be highly putrid 5 he 
was considered, when B wrote, rather out of dan- 
ger ; the only alleviation we could have under such cir- 
cumstances. O, my God ! if my dear brother still live, 
grant that this sickness may not be unto death, but for 
his soul's health ! Vigorous as his health has been, yet 
the shafts of death are as likely to wound him as the 
more sickly. 

All these circumstances should prove as incentives to 
my diligence in the divine life. Nothing can secure me 
from the sudden and unwarned approach of death ; he, 
with his fatal scythe, may mow down (one after ano- 
ther) every dear earthly comfort I possess. God alone 
is unchangeable, and the source of comfort ; he pours 
balm into the wounded spirit ; and bids it seek its trea- 
sures in those blessed regions where bliss is complete 
and inexhaustible. 

August 23, 1S09. 
Through the goodness of God my dear brother Wil- 
liam is better. I have enjoyed some sweet seasons of 
abstraction from the world on Sunday, and since. What 
is my object as a Christian ? It is to increase in faith, 
and in conformity to the image of God ; to have that 
stamped on my soul, and to feel the presence of God dif- 
fuse itself through my heart and my judgment. Then I 
am not of the world ; my views, pleasures, and pursuits, 
must be different; they are only dead fish that float 
down the stream ; I must swim against it. If the world 



44 DIARY OF 

hate you, marvel not ; they laugh and flutter for a day. 
and perish. The Christian strives and fights for a day, 
and his toil and labour are ended ; everlasting rest and 
perfect peace are his reward for ever. glorious pros- 
pect ! 

That glorious Being who created this lower world, who 
by his word formed all those beauteous scenes in crea- 
tion which now ravish my eyes, made all these for man ! 
what then will the visions of eternal bliss be for the re- 
deemed ? when every faculty of the soul will be in full 
vigour and purity, when God will be all in all. How 
many have I read of in history who have waded through 
scenes of blood, who have sacrificed every present pleasure 
and enjoyment, and thought nothing too much while a 
hope or chance remained of having an earthly crown 
placed on their heads ; and this with a probability of 
very soon falling a sacrifice to their own ambition. 

Christian, be ashamed of thy supineness ; be not sa- 
tisfied with the husks of this world, while there is hea- 
venly manna within thy reach : they sought a corruptible 
crown ; thou hast offered to thee an incorruptible one. 
Be assured, however hard the struggle against sin, yet, 
having attained the conquest, so peaceful a serenity shall 
be diffused through thy soul, as shall repay all the toil 
and labour. A Christian must fight the good fight of 
faith. 

Heard this evening a most animating sermon from 
Mr. Liefchild, ' For we shall see him as he is.' His de- 
scriptions were so lively, that I almost thought he had 
had a peep at the glories of the eternal world. vain 
transitory world, what are thy pleasures ? fleeting as a 
shadow. 

I pant for everlasting bliss, for a state of happiness 
which neither knows interruption nor end. 

August 28, 1609. 
I exceedingly enjoyed the services of yesterday ; it 
was a sabbath of delight to my soul ; I was three times 
at the Methodist chapel, where I heard a young man of 
promising talents, appointed by the Conference for the 
ensuing year. In the morning his sermon was on prayer, 
' The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man avail- 



MRS. COOPER. 45 

eth much :' he showed its advantages in prosperity : how 
the blessings of Providence were doubly enjoyed by a 
sense of the goodness of the benefactor ; the mind kept 
humble, and from vaunting itself against those who are 
in a lower situation, from a grateful acknowledgment to 
ihe Divine Being ; that it is from his hand alone such 
blessings are bestowed : and that temporal superiority is 
alone from him who dispenses his gifts. I note this par- 
ticularly, because prosperity appears to me a great trial 
to the Christian ; when surrounded by present good, in 
possession of health, wealth, and friends, O how prone 
to say, ' Soul, take thine ease ;' while sailing on a smooth 
sea, the anticipation of the harbour is not half so delight- 
ful as when tossed on the angry billows ; then the sight 
of port, how does it animate and refresh ; and yet, as 
good Mr. Day says, what base ingratitude is it, to make 
those very blessings our Creator bestows upon us the 
means of forgetting him ; and by an abuse of the good 
things of this life to destroy our souls. 

I am now in possession of health and every temporal 
blessing ; ought I not particularly to devote myself to 
that God who has made me a recipient of such various 
and unmerited blessings ? The only return, the only 
tribute of gratitude I can render to thee, thou God of 
love, is, to give up my heart, all I have and am, to thy 
service : to answer the great end of my existence, by 
a continual acknowledgment of that goodness which 
brought me into being and sustains it ; but above all, for 
a hope of eternal life through the great atoning Sacri- 
fice. His precious death and resurrection, is the life of 
all my hopes ; all my desires, to repose in the arms of 
his mercy and to be with him for ever. unspeakable 
love ! While I can hear with so much advantage as I 
did yesterday, I shall go to the Methodist chapel ; there 
is a plainness and simplicity in the appearance of the 
chapel and people, which suit my mind better than Zion 
chapel. Besides, there is a something in their mode of 
preaching which I always find profitable ; there is a view 
of eternity in their addresses to the Deity, which rouses 
and fixes my attention. I do most entirely agree with 
the sentiments of that people. John Wesley's opinions 
u cord with those I long since formed from reading the 



46 DIARY OF 

Bible. I seem to catch the flame, the heavenly flame, 
which burns among them ; their nonconformity to the 
world, and their gradual assimilation to the divine na- 
ture, the happy assurance so many among them have. 
0, it is religion in its power, in its peaceful and holy 
effects. 

In the afternoon of yesterday was the prayer-meeting* 
In the evening the same young man displayed considera- 
ble ability in discoursing from 1 Cor. i, 23. ' We preach 
Christ crucified.' His sermon contained a summary of 
those doctrines he intended to deliver among that people ; 
most ably he defended the divinity of our Lord. I en- 
joyed uncommon peace and liveliness of mind yesterday ; 
prayer instead of a weariness was a delight to me. 

Christianity, thou wast ushered into the world, as 
4 peace and good will to man ;' and so thou art and ever 
wilt be to those who receive thy glorious truths in meek- 
ness, with a practical desire of conforming the soul to the 
divine image. Those who advance in grace will advance 
in happiness ; the more this world is subdued, the brighter, 
the more glorious, will be the anticipation of that state 
which God has appointed as the resting-place for all his 
people. 

September 1, 1809. 

On Monday had a very delightful ride to Minster ; it is 
surrounded by many trees, and is altogether picturesque 
and beautiful. 

The church is a very ancient structure ; and the church- 
yard, which is very large, contains but few graves. How 
different to the crowded cemeteries about London ! I like 
to visit every repository of the dead where I go ; no mean 
surely should be neglected to familiarize that solemn cer- 
tain event, which will soon arrive. From an eminence 
about a mile from Minster, I had a view of the whole 
island of Thanet ; the sea girds a great part of it ; at one 
point is seen the Downs, in which the vessels look like a 
forest ; to the right of that is a very fine cultivated land 
view ; it reminded me much of Portsdown. 

On our return we rode through Birchington : we visited 
its churchyard, a favourite place of my brother Joseph's. 
I saw three beautiful epitaphs which I intend to go pur- 
poselv to copv. Here is a very fine view of the Recul- 



MRS. COOPER. 47 

vers. My mind was just in a frame to enjoy the beauties 
of nature, and to adopt the language of Cowper, ' My 
Father made them all ;' my eyes were full of tears when 
I thought of this blessed Relation. 

On Tuesday evening we rode through St. Peters to 
Broadstairs ; then to part of the Ramsgate road, where 
we had a very distinct view of the coast of France, Peg- 
well bay, and the ships in its harbour. The sun set in 
cloudless splendour just behind St. Peter's church. We 
returned through Kingsgate, having passed the Fore-land 
lighthouse, just then lighted up. It is a lovely village ; 
its beauty was much heightened by the last faint gleam 
of the setting sun upon its various ruins. I find much 
to interest me in this island. 

Wednesday morning we walked on the sands, visited 
some of the caverns ; scenes rude and wild ; we much 
enjoyed it ; sitting at the foot of one of the cliffs, we 
listened to the murmuring of the flowing tide. 

Such scenes are favourable to abstraction of mind. 
How is the soul to be pitied, which in such scenes does 
not recognise the finger of God ! which does not seek a 
friend in him who has such boundless power. The 38th 
chapter of Job, how appropriate to such scenes. 

In the evening brother B n and I walked on the 

fort between ten and eleven. The lightning had just 
ceased ; but the clouds, full of electricity, hung over the 
deep most sublimely. Over our heads the stars were 
shining in unclouded lustre. In the eastern hemisphere 
was the moon reposing on clouds of the darkest hue, 
whose summits were tipped with glowing light ; again 
she awoke from her sleep, and shed her trembling beams 
on the boundless ocean. Such scenes delight and ravish 
my eyes above all this world affords ; they raise my 
thoughts to him, who by a word brought all this immen- 
sity into existence. ' Lord what is man ?' How vain 
are all the pomps of this our world. I would soar to 
those regions where my soul will be satisfied by a view 
of him who, though infinite, views with delight the spirit 
who seeks his favour. 

September 8, 1809. 

There is certainly more real pleasure and solid satis- 
faction in the fulfilment of domestic plans of usefulness, 



48 DIARY OF 

than are to be found in the varieties of a new place and 
new scenes : these soon cease to charm ; and the want 
of full occupation and means of being actively useful, 
press on my mind. I do not lie down at night with the 
pleasing reflection that I have imparted comfort to the 
aged by being eyes to them and reading to them a por- 
tion of that word which is so much their support ; nor 
can I reflect on having endeavoured to speak a word for 
religion to the careless poor, &c) I seem almost to live 
in vain, and long for the return of that solid satisfaction 
which an endeavour at usefulness inspires, 

I have spent two evenings at the bathing-room very 
pleasantly. The gallery which overlooks the sea is de- 
lightful. On one evening I saw the phosphoric illumi- 
nation of the waves. I have occasionally met with two 
very sensible women there ; one an officer's widow, young 
and lively ; the other appears about thirty, single and an 
invalid : with the latter I had a good deal of serious con- 
versation ; she seems generally impressed with the im- 
portance of religion ; and although not abstracted from 
the gayeties of life, has but little relish for them. Her 
judgment seems more powerful than her resolution. I 
do indeed feel for such characters, who, whilst halting 
betwixt two opinions, find enjoyment in neither ; they 
feel the aching void within : the world denies them com- 
fort ; Heaven offers it, but they refuse. 

September 15, 1809. 

Walked to North Down, my favourite village ; it unites 
the beauties of landscape and sea views, and contains 
many very pretty farm houses. 

From thence we crossed the fields to the Walpole- 
wreck ; walked for some distance on the cliff, and then 
descended to the sands, which we found remarkably firm. 
The tide was fast coming in : the azure sky reflected a 
most lovely peacock hue on the sea. The flocks of ocean 
were abroad : we ran toward them, and kissed them 
with our feet. 

The cliffs in that part are strikingly wild ; and the 
deep solitude which there reigned among the caverns, 
added to the beauty of the marine productions, produced 
in us almost an ecstacv, In such scenes I am an enthu- 



3IRS. COOPER. 49 

siast, and hardly know what other circumstances could 
produce equal rapture. 

The solemn silence which pervaded those scenes, rude 
and wild, very much added to the interest they excited 
in my mind. 

September ]6, 1809. 

This day another year is added to my mortal exist- 
ence. Has the past year added any improvement to the 
preceding ones ? It demands self-recollection. How 
large the catalogue of mercies ; of divine favours ! — 
Where shall I begin to speak of goodness so boundless ? 
No chasm made among my earthly friends ; my dear pa- 
rents still spared ; yet in possession of earthly abundance : 
still in the enjoyment of health, reason, and all other 
faculties. My heart alone is the offering I can make to 
God for so many favours. I hope I do record it with 
humble gratitude, that for the last six months my affec- 
tions have been more given to God and religion than the 
preceding six months ; that I have been more alive to the 
requirements of Christianity upon my heart: I have 
found more delight in devotion, and greater desires after 
conformity to the Divine Image ; in short, religion has 
appeared to me the one thing needful ; and the attain- 
ment of eternal glory the grand end of my existence. 

I feel daily more and more the need of watchfulness 
and the influence of the Spirit to keep alive my good de- 
sires and resolutions ; for I know my heart is deceitful 
and the world alluring. — Experience has shown me, that 
one great cause of religious declension is a carelessness 
in devotion and neglect of reading the Scriptures ; hence 
I would have set seasons for both, and conscientiously 
observe them : also attend punctually, and as frequently 
as circumstances will admit, preaching in the week eve- 
nings ; I have found the benefit of this. The worldly are 
very eager in the pursuit of their pleasures ; pleasures 
which produce satiety — shall I then, who am a proba- 
tioner for heavenly pleasures, be slow in seeking them — 
and shall I suffer every little trifle to rob me of them ? O, 
forbid it ! It is not an earthly shadow, but an eternal 
substance I seek after. It demands my constant atten- 
tion, my most fervent devotions. 

Let not the universal carelessness which prevails about 
5 



50 DIARY OF 

unseen things deter me. Our Lord foretold this : he says 
the gate is strait, and but few enter it; but he also fore- 
warns me of that place where the worm never dies. 

I do record it, on this anniversary of my birth, that I 
desire more devotedly than I ever have done to give my- 
self up, all I have and am, to my God ; to press forward 
in the divine life, and to aim at that perfection which is 
the glory and happiness of the saints. These are my 
birthday hopes and resolutions ; and my handwriting 
will witness against me if I swerve from these paths of 
religion and peace. 

I hope I have gained something from observation the 
past year. I live to but little purpose if experience do 
not teach me ; and if the commission of error in one in- 
stance do not deter me from the same when a similar 
occasion offers. 

I made some progress in history last winter ; the en- 
suing one I purpose reading either Hume's or Rapin's 
History of England : and yet, alas ! how much time is 
taken up with trifles : for instance, I sit down to work, I 
loiter , I perhaps read in the interim, or look off; I wish 
to correct this, and when I return home to have more 
entire order in my pursuits ; to husband time, as that for 
which I must give account. — May the succeeding year, 
if I live to complete it, find me more decidedly devoted 
to God ; less earthly-minded, and abounding more in 
good works. Mark this % religion is a progressive work, 
no standing still ; either on the advance or on the decline 
— if it dwells in the soul, it will transform the nature, 
subdue evil, and be gradually assimilating it to the Divine 
Image. 

I have received a letter from my dear Mary Ann* to- 
day ; my friendship for her glows with undiminished ar- 
dour. I thank God for the gift of such a friend. I hope 
we shall more and more stimulate and stir up each other 
to the pursuit of objects which are divine ; and to resign 
our all entirely to our heavenly Father, who careth for 
those who seek his face. 

September 17, 1800. 

I have heard three very excellent discourses from the 

* MissW., a pious young lady, one of her most intimate acquaint- 
ances. 



HRS. COOJPER. 51 

venerable Mr. Bull, in consequence of a sudden illness 
of Mr. Lake : he officiated at Zion chapel. His sermon 
from Prov. ix, 5, had a reference to the Lord's Supper, 
-which he afterward administered in his own way. In 
the afternoon he preached from 1 Cor. i, 30. In the 
evening he was induced to choose for his text, Psalm 
xxiii, 4, in consequence of the death of a Mr. Atkinson, 
who the last Sunday was a hearer in that chapel. 

To hear such a Christian who is on the verge of glory, 
on the tiptoe of heavenly expectation ; to hear him dis- 
course on death, oh ! it is soothing and encouraging to 
the mind. He has given me a new view of the text ; 
by the metaphor of a shadow how much consolation is 
implied ! ' As the Hebrew' poets often availed themselves 
of objects in nature to illustrate their meaning, so he 
supposed that the figure, The shadow of death, was bor- 
rowed from a very deep and dark valley, through which 
the brook Cedron passed. Through this valley our dear 
Saviour passed, in going to the garden of Gethsemane. 
The dark valley then is not death, but the shadow of it. 
The believer does not die at all : it is but the shadow of 
death. Conceive death in its most tremendous form ; 
yet, being a shadow, there is no real substantial reason 
for you to fear it : you walk through it, do not stand in 
it ; and the Shepherd is at the end of the valley to re- 
ceive you. The rod signifies a crook, by which a shep- 
herd may bring back a wandering sheep : it also implies 
afflictions and trials. They are generally attendant on 
death. By the staff is meant, that power by which God 
supports and comforts his people : by the rod of afflic- 
tion, and the staff of comfort, they safely pass through 
the valley, and reach the place of eternal repose.' I have 
imperfectly noted a few of the remarks which struck me. 

October 2, 1809. 
I enjoyed my walk very much before breakfast ; the 
weather mild and peaceful ; quite a contrast to what it 
has been for the last fortnight. Walked on my favourite 
Kingsgate road, as far as the Mill-hill : thence crossed 
the fields to Newgate, which I descended, and sat at the 
foot of the cliff for some time ; not a sound to break the 
deep repose ; the state of my mind accorded with it. I 



52 DIARY OF 

found much delight in that part of Baxter's Saints' Rest, 
in which he enforces consideration as a chief help to 
heavenly contemplation. If the weather permit, I will 
repeat my early visits to that sacred spot : the time for 
my leaving them is near at hand. 

This evening there was a watch-night at the Method- 
ist chapel : the first time of my ever being at one. It 
began at seven, and ended at half past nine. It was a 
very solemn service. Mr. C us worth preached, Mr. Wil- 
liams delivered an exhortation, and several of the society 
engaged in prayer. The brevity and uncertainty of life 
were chiefly dwelt upon, and the importance of prepa- 
ring for our latter end : the whole was conducted in a very 
serious and impressive manner. 

October 5, 1809. 

Almost the whole of yesterday morning, from half 
past six, I was strolling by the seaside, among cliffs and 
sands. I shall soon leave them, and that with much re- 
gret. My recollections of the two months I have spent 
here must ever be pleasing to me ; and my heart now 
exults with praise to God that so much of my enjoyment 
has been derived from love to him and his works. When- 
ever I have sought retirement I have found it : hence the 
bustle and gayety of the place have not offended me. I 
have chiefly attended at the Wesleyan chapel ; and have 
been much pleased, and I hope profited, by the preach- 
ing of Mr. Williams. He manifests great theological 
knowledge ; and his preaching is quite of an experimental 
cast. I do become increasingly attached to the Wesley- 
ans : their preaching appears to me to combine more of 
the whole gospel than I have before heard : there is an 
earnestness in their addresses which tends to keep alive 
the flame of divine love in my heart, to give me fervour 
in prayer, and enlighten my understanding of the Scrip- 
tures. 

This morning we took a delightful walk with Joseph 
to a very rustic village called Nash ; surrounded by a 
great many trees, in the midst of which we discovered a 
mud- wall thatched cottage, the most rude of its kind I 
ever beheld ; every thing around it completed the pic- 
ture. I crept through the wicket gate, and was deter- 



MRS. COOPER. 53 

mined to see the inside ; where I found a good woman, 
who gave me a welcome peep at her little cot, in which 
every thing was very comfortable. She had lived there 
thirty years, and has eight children now grown up. 

This evening I took a farewell evening walk in Hub- 
bard's gallery ; a lovely starlight night : the sea rolled 
in sublimely : rather phosphoric. I had a very pleasing 
conversation with brother Joseph : we compared our oc- 
casional feelings of rapture in contemplating the works 
of God ; surely of all earthly enjoyments the most sub- 
lime, pure, and refined. Nature is an exhaustless store 
of entertainment. 

October 6, 1809. 

Arose at dawn this morning to see Joseph off for Lon- 
don. The morning star shone with splendour ; while 

Aurora, daughter of the dawn, 

With rosy lustre purpled o'er the lawn. 

The sun had just unbarred the portals of the east, when 
I hasted forth to enjoy his splendour. Agreeably to my 
intention yesterday, I visited the favourite field of my 
dear brother Joseph : it was so lovely that I lingered for 
a while, contemplating the enchanting effects of a morn- 
ing sun laying his golden beams on woods, fields, and 
streams. 

Ah ! what do the slothful lose. I had my second col- 
lection of poetry, in which I found parts highly adapted 
to enhance my enjoyment of the scene ; some of the 
Psalms I read with peculiar delight ; particularly those 
three which begin ' The Lord reigneth.' — I then pro- 
ceeded to Dandelion ; the gardens are pretty, and re- 
freshing to the sight. The larks, as I walked, sang their 
morning song sweetly : every thing was so lovely, that, 
though the distance was great, I found no fatigue : my 
heart was, indeed, uplifted to nature's God, from whom 
I derived springs of comfort and exultation. O blessed 
seasons ! in which I have wandered forth, alone, and 
found my solitude more sweet, more animating, than 
could be produced by all the artificial means the world 
offers. 

I walked again from eleven to two, and explored nearly 
the whole of North Down : it is remarkably shady : and 



54 DIARY OF 

the hedges in the lanes particularly luxuriant : the cot- 
tages and farm houses are strikingly picturesque. As I 
walked I read a great part of the second volume of Mrs. 
West's Letters ; in which, as in the first, she displays 
great acuteness of observation, and an uncommon sense 
of moral propriety. As to religion, she defends our 
establishment in all its parts, and is, indeed, quite its eu- 
logist ; seceding from it seems, indeed, a high crime and 
misdemeanor. But there appears to me a grand defi- 
ciency in her system ; while advocating a rational reli- 
gion she puts aside that vital experimental piety which 
is so manifestly insisted on in the New Testament ; and 
the fanaticism of a few misguided zealots has induced 
her to conclude all religious feeling to be enthusiasm. In 
this part she is very exceptionable, as also in her endea- 
vour to unite the world and religion, which I must ever 
think incompatible. Notwithstanding this, she gives proof 
of having thought and read much on Christianity ; and 
some very good remarks are the result. 

I bade a long farewell to those sweet scenes on which 
I have often gazed with rapture. 

October 10, 1809. 

We left Margate on the 7th, and reached Canterbury 
in the afternoon, where we met with a very welcome re- 
ception from our kind friends, Mr. and Mrs. G . 

The country about Canterbury is more beautifully pic- 
turesque than any I have ever before seen. Before break- 
fast I went to see the Dane John, a mound of earth said 
to have been thrown up by the Danes in one night : — it 
has a circular walk to the top, which commands a fine 
view of the city and country ; near it are the ruins of an 
old castle : the fortifications are in this part in good 
preservation. The ruins of St. Augustine's monastery 
are a very fine object. After breakfast took a country 
walk ; saw St. Martin's church, the oldest in England ; 
remarkable only for its antiquity and situation. It was 
well I saw Margate first ; the country here is so much 
superior, that the comparison would not have been fa- 
vourable ; yet I shall ever think of Margate, as having 
there enjoyed such heart-felt pleasure in her less lovely 
walk?. 



MRS. COOPER. OO 

October 11, 1809. 
I attended cathedral service, and afterward walked 
through the building. The antiquity of this church, its 
renown in history, excited in my mind a peculiar inte- 
rest. Its exterior is very grand. As it was erected in 
the darkest ages of popery, it contains many relics of its 
thraldom. A hundred thousand pilgrims, from all parts 
of the world, in one year, paid their devotions at the 
shrine of Thomas a Becket ! The stone steps they as- 
cended, quite worn into a curve, appear to authenticate 
this. An altar was erected near the tomb of Edward the 
Black Prince, before which, mass, morning and evening, 
was offered up for the peace of his soul ! The step on 
which these devotees knelt is also worn into hollows. I 
saw a confessional also : my heart rose with thankfulness 
to that God who has caused those days of darkness to 
cease. — There were two or three pieces of sculpture 
which excited my admiration more than any I ever be- 
fore saw : one of Dean Wootton, in which he is repre- 
sented as kneeling before an altar of the most beautiful 
stone-work : his posture is life, and the countenance is 
expressive to a wonderful degree, particularly the ears. 
Another, of the founder of Oxford university : there 
were two representations of him ; one of his appearance 
when in full health, stout and handsome ; below it, in 
the same posture, you see him as he was when he died, 
a mere skeleton, exquisitely executed. Above are twelve 
images of the apostles, and one of the same size repre- 
senting Death : on the corresponding side is a figure of 
Time with his scythe. To discover all the beauties of 
this place would require several hours' inspection. The 
chair on which the kings of Kent were crowned is there ; 
and is said to be the greatest piece of antiquity in England ; 
on it the archbishops are installed into their office. The 
depredations of Cromwell are manifest in various places. 
I ascended the belfry, two hundred and fourteen steps 
high : the prospect which the highest tower commands 
is too beautiful for description. The city, with its vari- 
ous ruins, added to the uncommon richness of the coun- 
try ; the river Stour beautifully meandering through the 
richest vales, and the distant view of the cliffs near Ram?- 
gate, surpass description. 



56 DIARY OF 

October 18, 1809. 
The remains of my darling nephew I have just seen 
committed to the cold and silent tomb. All that per- 
tains to death is awfully impressive ; and if we go not 
beyond the eye of sense, it is overwhelming. Can the 
mortal part charm when the spirit has left it ? no. 
Why is it then that the body, which must so soon turn 
to corruption, occupies so large a portion of our thoughts ? 
It is vain. The spirit which animated it cannot die, 
cannot see corruption : — hence those who live a life of 
sense, whose thoughts are occupied in decking this cor- 
ruptible clay, have strangely lost the right perception of 
things. How awful is our state, independent of revela- 
tion ! Of few days and full of trouble. The flowers 
which to-day delight and ravish our eyes, to morrow are 
cut down and withered. All on earth must say to cor- 
ruption, Thou art my mother, and to the worm, Thou 
art my sister. Such is our destiny by nature. But thou, 
my soul, hast higher hopes, and sublimer expectations : 
thy immortal interests are, through grace, thy chief con- 
cern : thou hast been taught by the word of God, that 
though the outward tabernacle be dissolved, thou hast a 
building of God, a house not made with hands, eternal 
in the heavens. Joyful prospect ! Live but in the pre- 
paration for this, and death will lose its sting, the grave 
its terrors, and the world its charms. Well then, be not 
cast down ; all on earth is changeable : there is no rest 
here : thou hast proved its insufficiency to impart one 
moment's real solid satisfaction. But God is unchangea- 
ble ; his arms of mercy are ever open to receive those 
who seek him ; his promises are as eternal as his nature. 
The only wisdom is to seek God, and to prepare to meet 
him. Remember, my soul, that every day thou art 
called upon to remember thy God, to seek his favour, 
and to begin here that employ which is the bliss of angels 
and glorified spirits. Religion, if it exist in the soul, 
must subdue sin ; it must be manifested in every action 
of the life ; tempers must be sanctified, holy dispositions 
implanted. These are the evidences of a state of grace ; 
it is this which makes the soul easy under all the afflic- 
tions of life ; by the simple act of faith, the looking unto 
Jesus, these blessed effects will follow. This is the bless- 



MRS. COOPER. 57 

ed union which subsists between Christ and his people ; 
these are the evidences of the indwelling of the Holy 
Spirit, which can make the Christian joyous, happy, and 
even triumphant, in the anticipation of that event which 
I have this day witnessed. 

The silent tomb must be my last mortal abode : it may 
be very soon. The dear child three days before he 
died was apparently in the bloom of health and beauty. 
Death, having received his commission, unbarred to him 
the gates of paradise, and presented him as a trophy of 
the Redeemer's blood. And, O ! if when mortal paleness 
is on my cheek, glory be but in my soul ; kind messen- 
ger, with all thy gloomy train, I will welcome thy ap- 
proach, and hail thee as a friend. 

October 30, 1809. 

Once again I have the enjoyment of my quiet home. 
Mercy has surrounded me ever since I left it ; mercy 
now gladdens my heart, and makes me in some degree 
possess that peace which passeth understanding. Shall 
I ever leave those paths of religion on which I have en- 
tered ? Ever return to that world with which I am at 
variance ? Oh ! no. With the practice of religion is con- 
nected much enjoyment ; in the experience of religion is 
found the peace and joy which fills and satisfies the im- 
mortal soul. It is only the Spirit of God which can sa- 
tisfy the spirit of man : religion alone affords objects 
worthy of its regard. 

How many motives have I for constant prayer, for 
daily importunity with God, that I may be kejrt in the 
paths of life and happiness ! For this end I must con- 
tinue to use those means which the Holy Spirit hath 
blessed to me. If I forsake God I shall lose the light 
of his countenance, bring bitterness on my soul, and dis- 
grace my profession. 0, blessed God ! I desire again to 
devote myself to thy service ; I give thee my heart, and 
would entreat thee to impart a portion of thy Spirit, that 
every faculty of my soul may be renewed. 

November 10, 1809. 
This morning the Wesleyan chapel was opened by Mr. 
Moore ; and in the evening Dr. Clarke preached. The 



/ 



58 DIARY OF 

edification I have found in that connexion is a powerful 
motive for my embracing every opportunity of attending 
the ministration of God in that place. In truth, my views 
of religion have been so much enlarged and invigorated 
for the last eight months, that the prior knowledge I had 
of it seems to me now to have been more speculative 
than experimental, more notional than practical. 

November 16, 1809. 

The life of God in the soul can only be maintained by 
constant watchfulness ; it is vain to compromise with the 
world ; by so doing spirituality is banished. A well- 
grounded peace with God can only be possessed by the 
heart that has entirely, without any reserve, given up 
all to God. 

The inestimable blessing of divine illumination, the 
gift of the Holy Spirit, is only promised to those that 
seek it. Perseverance is needful ; and when the infinite 
value of this gift is considered, surely the soul should 
possess itself with patience and diligent seeking till the 
divine breathing be communicated. I have always found 
the blessings of grace dispensed to me in proportion to 
my diligence in seeking them. Much profit I have found 
by staled seasons of devotion, and devotional reading. 
This is, indeed, great encouragement for me most dili- 
gently and importunately to seek that sense of God's 
pardoning mercy which shall diffuse the peace which pass- 
eth understanding. Many have sweetly experienced this, 
and have given proof that they have obtained it by an 
entire renewal of the soul ; this is the lost image of God 
restored. 

My confidence in God is greatly strengthened. The 
world has lost all its charms for me ; and ' the pearl of 
great price' is what I most desire to possess : — to keep 
mj heart with all diligence, to watch the first risings of 
sin, and to fear the quenching of the Holy Spirit — this 
be now my care and business. Religion demands my 
time, my talents, and my affections ; and I bless God I 
have no desire to make any reserve. I desire to be 
wholly the Lord's ; and to prove it by holiness in all 
manner of conversation. I must indeed daily pray and 
strive against pride and warmth of temper : the first ma- 



MRS. COOPEK. 59 

nifests itself when my favourite opinions are opposed, 
Here, indeed, a strict watch is necessary. I must avoid 
controversy in religion : and remember that acrimony 
and taking offence are great proofs that piety has not its 
due influence on the heart. 

November 29, 1809. 

Since my return from Margate I have made scarcely 
any progress in my historical reading , the bent of my 
taste and inclinations has been so strongly toward theo- 
logy and devotional books, that I have but little relish 
for trifling reading. My mind is now, I think, made up 
as to the scriptural nature and holy tendency of the doc- 
trines Mr. Wesley embraced and enforced. I have been 
happy in the investigation ; and am most firmly persua- 
ded that his view of Christian perfection is at once the 
privilege and the happiness of the Christian ; an emi- 
nence which it is necessary to strive and pray to obtain. 
It is not for us to sit down in calm indifference and 
wait for these influences of the Holy Spirit ; this blessing 
is only bestowed on those who believe, and who earnest- 
ly pray and wait for this full redemption. Although I 
am not yet the happy possessor of it, I am greatly en- 
couraged by that promise, Psalm cxlv, 19. ' He will ful- 
fil the desire of them that fear him ; he also will hear 
their cry and will save them.' I must watch and pray, 
and live by faith on Jesus Christ, who hath said, ' Ask, 
and ye shall receive ;' and while I do this in sincerity I 
shall not be confounded ; for his promises are as immu- 
table as his nature. 

To-morrow there will be a love-feast : I am permitted 
to attend. There seem difficulties in the way of my join- 
ing the society, or I certainly would ; I owe much to 
their preaching ; and this is a debt I hope still to increase. 
There is a simplicity of mind about them of which I de- 
sire to partake ; as a new-born babe to receive the sin- 
cere milk of the word that I may grow thereby. 

December 2, 1809. 

Only blessed are they who have a present salvation ; 
who with holy confidence can call God, Abba, Father : 
this blessed relation producing conformity to his will, 
and a supreme love to him and his ways. 



60 DIARY" 01 

£ But while I seek and find thee not, 
No peace my wandering soul shall sec.' 

For the last week I hope I have in sincerity waited on 
God in prayer. I believe I have ; nor can I charge my- 
self with indifference toward him. Yet, alas ! I am in 
bondage. Before I went to sleep one night I asked my- 
self, l Should Death present himself to me this night, 
have I a ground of confidence to insure my peace at the 
summons V Alas ! no. Doubts prevailed. Were I jus- 
tified by faith, I feel assured that death would have no 
terrors in apprehension. Well, then, I must wait the 
coming of the Lord. Though he seem to tarry long, 
true and faithful is his word. Another source of grief I 
find in the want of spirituality of mind : when I awake 
in the morning my thoughts wander upon trifles — but, 
Oh ! how rarely do they fix themselves on God ; and 
rise in holy aspirations to his glorious name. Were God 
the supreme, the only object of my love, would not my 
thoughts be of him, last at night, and first in the dawn 
of morn ? I was much comforted by a sermon of Mr. 
Martin's on Monday evening, on the omniscience of 
God. ' Will God in very deed dwell with men ? Be- 
hold the heaven,' &c. I have suffered much from unbe- 
lief on this head. Of how many precious consolations 
have I been robbed by the evil suggestions, ' Doth God, 
indeed, (concerned as he is with the infinitude of his 
affairs,) stoop to notice my mean concerns?' Mr. M. 
forcibly appealed to my reason, and my religion, as to 
the absurdity and evil of these suggestions. God is a 
spirit, and no spirit can exist without his energy ; indeed, 
were it otherwise it would imply an imperfection in his 
nature. From Satan are all those dishonourable doubts 
which have at times but too much occupied my thoughts. 
In adopting the sentiments of the Wesleyans I have 
thought it justice to myself, and to the cause of truth, 
well to study, think upon, and investigate the matter : 
perhaps this external examination has been unfavourable 
to internal piety. Locke's Essay on St. Paul's Epistles 
has fully satisfied me of the injustice of taking detached 
verses or passages to build a doctrine upon ; which, were 
the whole tenour and design of the letter or epistle 
taken, would have a primary and different signification. 



MRS. COOPER. 61 

The apostle's arguments in his Epistle to the Romans 
are more especially respective of the Jews and Gentiles. 
This seems clear in reading the whole epistle at once, 
and by this we may ascertain the drift of his argument. ' 

December 11, 1809. 

The last week I enjoyed many moments of sweet in- 
expressible consolation ; at times I enjoyed an ejacula- 
tory communion with God ; although I have not had that 
distinct assurance of his pardoning love, for which I most 
earnestly pray ; yet I cannot but receive these occasional 
visitations of his favour as tokens for good ; that in his 
own time I shall experience that blissful union with him, 
and that ardent love to him, which I desire. O my God, 
have I not given myself up to thee ? Is not my entire 
dependance on thy beloved Son, whom thou didst give a 
ransom for all ? I desire to act constant faith on him ; 
to give him the best, the warmest desires of my heart ; to 
have him reign unrivalled there ! Shall I seek his face in 
vain ? No, I cannot doubt his promise, who to the pre- 
sent time has been so faithful. It is through his grace I 
am what I am ; and that I can truly say, I desire God 
as my portion. My happiness and hopes are centered 
alone in him ; and I long and pray to have every faculty 
of my soul absorbed in divine love. This will renovate 
my nature, and make me grieve even at the thought of 
sinning against so much goodness. Though I outwardly 
check the evils of my nature, yet if they rise within, 
what cause of humility and of constant application to the 
blood of Jesus. 

December 13, 1809. 

I believe that an habitual sense of the uncertainty of 
life would be the most prevailing incentive to a devo- 
tional, holy frame of mind. It was an unhallowed 
thought that arose, (I checked it by the above considera- 
tion,) ' Why this early strictness ; you are yet young ? 
how will you be able to maintain present views for many 
years V My time is in thy hands, God. Do I not de- 
sire thy favour as a present happiness ? Do I not strive 
to overcome my sins that I may enjoy thee, and through 
thy Spirit be prepared for everlasting blessedness ? And 
is not the delight, the sacred composure resulting from 
6 



62 DIARY OF 

the conquest of sin, infinitely more desirable than being; 
overcome by it ? 

I wish to take the word of God as it is : that is faith, 
to receive it with childlike simplicity ; to be taught by 
the Spirit ; this is the wisdom I ask of God. What is 
earthly wisdom in comparison of this ? But the wisdom 
the Most High imparts here, he will perfect hereafter 
- in the floods of celestial light.' Not that I decry earthly 
knowledge ; — it is most desirable when in subserviency 
to religion. History and science may be consecrated 
at the cross ; they enlarge our conception of God's deal- 
ings with the world, and of his infinite wisdom, power, 
and goodness, in the wonderful formation and preserva- 
tion of the world, and all therein. Here we discover 
our slender conceptions, and our feeble attempts to trace 
the causes of the various phenomena, the effects of 
which so forcibly strike us. ! bend low at the foot- 
stool of the Deity ; man is but a worm : if thou be a 
Christian, the world is a conquered enemy. Where 
should it lie then but at thy feet ? 

December 20, 1809. 

Daily experience convinces me how dependant I am 
on God for all spiritual assistance, and for the power 
through which I can persevere. Without his present help 
who fills heaven and earth, I sink, I die. I have power 
to use the means ; and no blessings ever attend me with- 
out them. But the means would be no blessings were I 
not to seek the assistance of the Spirit of God. 

Were I to read trifling books, pay trifling visits, or ne- 
glect stated seasons for devotion, my poor heart would 
again become the seat of earthly vanities. 

Thus far I am a free agent ; I can avoid the former, 
and can direct my attention to the latter: and by so 
doing I often find the blessed presence of God. 

Though I am still an entire debtor to his grace, yet 
God works by means ; and he is faithful to his promises ; 
those that seek do find, and the bruised reed he will not 
break. Ungrateful should I be, after what I have expe- 
rienced of God's goodness, were I to tempt him to for- 
sake me now that my outward circumstances so much 
conspire to render an attendance upon him easy and de- 
lightful. 



OIRS. COOPER. 63 

Blessed Spirit, still visit me with thy gracious in- 
fluences! 

December 21, 1S09. 

I have generally returned from visiting professors of 
religion with great dissatisfaction. The great Redeemer, 
who might so justly claim the chief of their thoughts, 
has been the only neglected topic of conversation. How 
often have I been grieved! how often attempted in vain 
to introduce eternal things ! Not so this evening : I have 
returned home from Mr. S.'s with a heart more disposed 
for devotion, and more impressed with the love of God. 
The characters of two eminent servants of God, Mr. W. 
and Mr. Pearce, (the latter deceased,) were subjects of 
converse and delineation. How did my heart rejoice at 
the lovely accounts of Mr. W.'s family devotions and 
habitual fervent piety. 0, may I remember the same 
Lord is rich unto all that call upon him. How great must 
have been his obstacles, and how powerful the temptation 
arising from his exalted station ! 

How inexcusable shall 1 be if, amid all my advantages, 
I should fall short ; and so not having the Spirit of 
Christ, be none of his. — Arise, my soul, call upon thy 
God, and seek the choicest blessings of his grace. 

December 22, 1809. 

For the last three years (since we left town) I have 
almost entirely neglected receiving the Lord's Supper. 
I believe I have suffered much loss by it ; as when I did 
receive it I found it a very quickening means of grace : 
so since I ceased to enjoy this divine ordinance, I have 
often been overwhelmed with lukewarmness ; and, when 
sometimes roused to greater diligence in the pursuit of 
eternal things, the obstacles have been many, viz. my 
great distance from the Lock chapel, a prevailing dislike 
to the idea of joining the independent meeting, from my 
not being decidedly a dissenter; and, lastly, the mode of 
admission to this blessed ordinance among them, by a 
church examination. I feel, indeed, very thankful to 
God that the way is now clear before me : an unexpect- 
ed door is open, and I am once again invited to the bless- 
ed feast of the Saviour's love in the Methodist chapel, 
\vhere I have received so much spiritual benefit without 



64 DIARY OF 

any obstacle, either from circumstances or conscience : 
being near my own house, administered in the Church of 
England mode, which I always preferred ; and my ad- 
mission to this heavenly ordinance among this people is 
from the impression of my being a decided character. O 
may I never deceive myself or others, but more * perfectly 
love thee, and more worthily magnify thy holy name, 
Lord, for ever and ever.' 

How kind was the Redeemer in thus leaving a sensible 
memorial of his unbounded love. Remember, my soal, 
that this sacrament, in its spiritual extent, is a covenant 
by which Jesus engages to dwell in thy heart by faith ; 
and if it be properly entered into on thy part, thou dost 
dedicate thy body, soul, and spirit unto the Lord ; firmly 
purposing to devote every power and faculty to glorify 
thy Redeemer so long as thou hast a being. 

thou that nearest prayer, to thee I can appeal as to 
the sincerity of my desires of giving myself up to thee. 
Is it not my daily prayer to live by faith on my Re- 
deemer ? Do I not ask with importunity for the gift 
of thy Spirit to enable me to perform my resolutions, to 
overcome every sin, and to seek for entire sanctification. 
When, by thy grace, I have been enabled to overcome 
outward temptations, yet what reason have I had to be 
humble for the corruptions of my nature ; the risings of 
temper, pride, &c, which have been naked and open to 
Him who is of purer eyes than to behold iniquity ? 
What reason for constant humility and application to the 
blood of the covenant. * Without holiness no man shall 
see the Lord.'' that these words may be engraven on 
the tablet of my heart : I have no time to lose ; the pre- 
sent is all I can call my own. I must therefore labour to 
enter into this rest ; and act constant faith on him with 
whom all things are possible, even my present sanctifica- 
tion. O may I examine myself strictly by the word of 
God, whether I be in the faith : whether the works of 
the Spirit be manifest ; and whether God be gradually 
restoring my soul to his divine image. I am not my own, 
but thine, blessed Lord. I have given myself up to thee ; 
my hopes and fears, joys and sorrows, have they not 
their source from thy word ? The world is an enemy's 
country ; but through it I must journey to the heavenly 



MRS. COOPER. 63 

city. O that I may keep that in sight : there will be a 
full compensation for all the thorns and briars, and buf- 
fettings by the way. Lord, satisfy my soul with thy 
precious love ; and I will welcome adversity, crosses, 
pains, and disappointments. Give me but faith in the 
unseen world, and I will trample the present world 
under my feet. 

December 23, 1809. 

I have had a most pleasing anticipation of the services 
of to-morrow, once again to be invited to the spiritual 
banquet prepared by my Saviour ; once again to have 
those precious words addressed to me, ' Take, eat : 
this is my body.' If faith be but in exercise, shall I not 
be strengthened to run the race to obtain the prize? 
Will not my heart be more warmed, my graces more 
nourished, my corruptions more weakened, my hopes of 
assurance more heightened ? If I do not receive these 
blessings, I must impute it to the weakness of my faith. 
But let me examine myself, whether my heart be fitly 
prepared for the reception of these divine mysteries. 
What is my advancement in knowledge ? Has the recol- 
lection of the sins of my early years, of the misimprove- 
ment of that light inspired into my mind at an early pe- 
riod ; of my heart-wanderings from God after I had 
made an outward profession in 1803 ; of my careless 
performance of private prayer and devotional reading ; 
of my lukewarmness and misimprovement of the ordi- 
nances of God ? Have I been humbled before God, and 
have I sought forgiveness through Christ for these mani- 
fold transgressions ? Have I bewailed these offences as 
committed against God's purity, and as the basest ingra- 
titude ? If I have, can I find more humility, more watch- 
fulness, more intense desires after entire conformity to 
God ? Lord, I have not the evidences I desire to have ; 
yet, blessed be thy name, I can trace earnest desires and 
endeavours after them ; and I daily wait at thy feet for 
these blessings, for the fulfilment of thy promises. 

* Without faith it is impossible to please God.' Have 
I used the little imparted to me ? By contemplating the 
unseen w r orld, and by a lively persuasion that my only 
trust and hope of present and future happiness is from 
the Redeemer's love, I have rejoiced with joy unspeak- 



66 DIARY OF 

able ; sweet peace has shed its balmy influence on my 
heart, and I have exclaimed, * My beloved is mine, and 
I am his.' — How have I loved retirement on these occa- 
sions, and mused on the precious love of God to my 
soul ! Surely, Lord, it was thy Spirit working on my 
heart. How lovely was Christ ! how hateful the appear- 
ances of evil to my soul, which at those seasons panted 
after thee ! Were not these exercises of faith ? Lord, 
increase my faith. Help me to be watchful against the 
risings of sin, and to be importunate with thee for larger 
degrees of humility. O that heavenly grace ! 

Jesus, my teacher, can I ever indulge high-minded- 
ness, self-love, and vain conceit ? I shall have strangely 
forgotten thee as my pattern, who wast meek and lowly 
of heart, if these detestable evils again reign in my 
heart. i By this shall all men know that ye are my dis- 
ciples, if ye have love one to another.' 

Do I love the image of Christ wherever I behold it 
reflected in any of his members ? Can I esteem grace 
though in poverty ? Do I behave with Christian humility 
to all who love the Saviour, and strive to promote their 
interests as far as I have ability ? In this I do rejoice, 
and humbly hope I may add an affirmative to each of 
these queries. Lord, increase my love of them and thee. 

Is my obedience to Christ constrained ; or does it pro- 
ceed from love and entire willingness to be his in body,, 
soul, and spirit ? Blessed Saviour, can I contemplate thy 
life, death, and sufferings,^ and be insensible to the 
amazing sacrifice, the astonishing love which could in- 
duce thee to leave the realms of uncreated blessedness, 
that thy creature man might be reconciled to an offend- 
ed God ? Didst thou offer thyself a voluntary sacrifice for 
my sins, and can I hesitate whether I shall give up all to 
thee ? Impossible — poor, indeed, is the return — yet, as 
thou art supremely lovely in my esteem, I wish to 
make no reserve, but to dedicate all my powers to thee, 
and have all my desires centre in thee ; nothing but 
thy love can satisfy my soul. — be present with me 
when I bow before thy altar, and partake of the broken 
bread, emblem of that precious body which was bro- 
ken on the cross ; and drink of that wine commemo- 
rative of thy most precious blood, which flowed for the 



3IRS. COOPER. 67 

salvation of thy guilty creatures. I am very weak and 
helpless, but thou art strong and mighty. I want hea- 
venly wisdom, that I may understand the heights and 
depths of redeeming love. I want to love the Lord with 
all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength ; and 
to love my neighbour as myself. Thou alone canst make 
me a partaker of these amazing blessings. may I not 
ask amiss, but receive of thee grace, constantly to seek 
thy favour and live upon thy revealed word. 

December 25, 1809. 

Yesterday I heard Mr. Benson preach three times : it 
was the most delightful sabbath I ever spent. His ser- 
mon in the morning was from John i, 12. In elucidating 
the beginning of that chapter, I was surprised and de- 
lighted with his clear views of the Trinity ; a subject on 
which, I had previously understood, he excelled. In 
the first head of his discourse he showed what was meant 
by receiving Christ, accepting him alone as a teacher, 
trusting him as a Mediator, loving him as the only Re- 
deemer, and acknowledging him as our Governor; he 
being the author of eternal salvation, only to those who 
obey him, 

1 was enabled, I trust, through the Spirit's influence, 
to believe my interest in him. I could no longer with- 
stand ; but in my heart said, ■ My beloved is mine, and 
I am his.' How sweetly did he expatiate upon the pri- 
vileges of God's children ! How did he unfold the bless- 
ed effects of that holy relationship, and urge us yet to 
press forward and seek after an entire conformity to the 
image of God. 

In the afternoon he preached from 1 Tim. i, 15; in 
the evening from 1 John iii, 8. The Lord's Supper was 
not administered till to-day by Mr. Martin. Surely this 
is a.day which I shall have in everlasting remembrance. 
I found the chapel to be none other than the house of 
God, and the gate of heaven ; surely I was enabled to 
feed upon Christ in my heart by faith, with thanksgiving. 
I bless and praise thee, my Redeemer, for thy presence 
manifested to me this day. By faith have I entered the 
manger where the blessed Jesus condescended to make 
his appearance ; doing honour to our nature in veiling 
his Godhead in our humanity. 0. I left my burden in 



6S BIA&Y OF 

the manger ] my faith kindled at the sight ; he is my 
bright and morning star ; and, while he sheds the divine 
radiance on my soul, I am supremely happy. Perhaps 
thou hast sent me this as a cordial ; as a preparative for 
trials : O Lord, I want a faith that will overcome all diffi- 
culty, all opposition, and all discouragement. I want a 
faith operating on every power of my soul ; I want to be 
subdued entirely to thy grace, and know no will but 
thine. Lord, while I am seeking strength from thee, 
and acting faith upon thee, I shall not grieve thee by se- 
parating from thy mild and lovely government : but 0, 
leave me not to myself; for, separate from thee I fall : 
separate from thee I only know disquietude> and am left 
to the darkness and ignorance of my own mind. 

This day I have again sealed the covenant ; I have en- 
listed under the banners of the cross, and am no longer 
my own but his ; bought with the price of the Redeemer's 
blood. How powerful are my motives for persevering ! 
What ! shall I forsake the fountain of living waters, the 
streams of which have gladdened my heart and intro- 
duced a taste of heaven ? Shall I ever again try the 
world — that deceiver ? Shall I, with eternity before me ; 
I, who can only insure the present now, shall I again run 
the risk of losing my title to immortality, by indulging 
lukewarmness and indifference ; by trifling or misimpro- 
ving the time given me for so important a work ? 

Lord, I beseech thee, be thou my helper, keep thy 
abode in my heart; and let me experience more and 
more, the love, the joy, the peace of believing. In pro- 
portion as I do this, shall I disdain the poor offerings of 
this vain world ; and see the inadequacy of human know- 
ledge for immortal powers ; as also the danger, the mi- 
sery of allowing the heart to be divided, of making a truce 
with the world, which was always God's enemy ; and 
therefore is and ought to be mine. ' Bless the Lord, O 
my soul ; and never forget this day's benefits.' 

December 29, 1809. 

1 have, with little intermission, enjoyed the manifest- 
ation of God's love in my soul the past week ; in one 
instance I grieved the Spirit of God. Oh, what sensa- 
tions of anguish did it occasion me ? by earnest prayer I 
was ie?tored to peace before night. From this I learn 



•VIHS. COOPER. 69 

the necessity of being continually watchful : to be over- 
come by sin ; what bitterness does it occasion ? how are 
evidences clouded ? how does the soul recoil at the idea, 
that the Son of God is thereby crucified afresh ? what 
carefulness has it wrought in me ever since ; howimpor- 
lunate was I the following morning for God's grace to 
keep me from the approach of evil. In tender mercy he 
has heard my prayer : I feel convinced that sin must be 
a strange work to the believer : it is incompatible with the 
indwelling of the Spirit of God : I long to feel deeper the 
Spirit's influence : I want to be filled with that holy love 
which shall make me increasingly superior to the allure- 
ments of sense, which shall make my affections spiritual, 
and keep me aspiring after entire subordination and love 
to God ; so that heaven, begun below, may be my hW)y 
portion. O I have felt the joy arising from a sense of par- 
don ; may I never forfeit it by sinning against the God 
of all goodness, who, in so much mercy, answered my 
prayers. My faith is, alas ! very weak. O may I more 
fully comprehend the large extent of that salvation Christ 
came to bestow, even a deliverance from the power of all 
sin ; a vital and mysterious union of the soul with him- 
self; that ' white stone which no man knoweth save he 
that receiveth it.' " 



On entering into a solemn covenant with God at the commence- 
ment of the New Year, she makes the following remarks and reso- 
lutions : — 

January 7, 1810. 

" I have this day added to my obligations of living only 
and closely to God. I have entered into a public and 
solemn covenant with the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, 
to give up my body, soul, and spirit, all I have and all I 
am, to him, as a most reasonable service. God is my 
witness, that my heart is sincere in this self-dedication"; 
that I choose Christ with his yoke, his cross and his crown, 
in preference to the world, its wealth, its pleasures, and 
its curse. Things temporal are but as a shadow ; things 
which are eternal are substantial. my God, thy eye- 
lids try the children of men ; thou hast witnessed and ra- 
tified in heaven that most solemn renunciation which I 
have made of sin and self : I have given myself up to thee 



VO 'DIARY OV 

as thy servant. — Choose thou for me my future portion ; 
be my inheritance. blissful thought ! The eternal God, 
who by a word spake all creation into existence, who was 
from everlasting to everlasting, even he whose existence 
is so incomprehensible, has promised to take up his abode 
in the contrite heart. This is his revelation 5 the world 
by wisdom knew it not : it was a stretch too vast for hu- 
man thought, that He whom the heaven of heavens can- 
not contain, should thus condescend to visit every heart 
that will make him room. fill my soul with thy love, 
and heaven shall commence there. O that I may daily 
take up my cross and follow thee ; be under the teach- 
ings of thy Spirit ; and never, never grieve him, but be 
more and more assimilated to the image of God ; pos- 
sessing that inward and outward holiness without which 
the gates of heaven will be closed to me. — Hence may 
I learn that as the present moment is all I can insure, 
so constant and present living on Christ is my duty and 
privilege : and to depend on that grace which he has said 
shall be sufficient. — This is living by faith ; this is the 
life I desire to live ; and if there be any secret sin which 
rises up in opposition, Holy Spirit, convince me of it ; 
and let me not rest satisfied, be it a right arm or a right 
eye, till it is cut off or plucked out !-^Help me diligently 
to use all the means of grace thou hast prescribed, for 
the utter destruction of all my corruptions ; and to watch 
against all temptations, particularly those of prosperity. 
That is a hard trial to a Christian, it being but rarely his 
element in this world. — Thy holy word I take to be the 
rule of my life ; to thy yoke I submit. be thou my 
teacher and my instructer in meekness and lowliness of 
heart ; in purity of intention, in habitual devotion of 
mind, in a holy superiority to the allurements of sense 
and the fascinations of pleasure ! give me that living 
xvater that I may never thirst ; and let it spring up with- 
in me unto everlasting life ! — Amen and Amen. 

Mary Hanson. 



January 11, 1810- 

I have enjoyed much of the divine presence this day : 
my soul has been filled with love and peace. 
' Renounce all strength but strength divines 
And peace shall be for ever mine. 1 



MRS. COOPER. 71 

By simply believing and looking unto Jesus are receiv- 
ed all those divine blessings which cause the enraptured 
soul to say, * My Father, my God, and my friend.' God 
is indeed faithful to his promises : when I seek his face 
and his favour with sincerity, when I desire it as my 
chief good, then he, by his Spirit, manifests himself, gives 
me power over sin, and imparts a peace which passeth 
understanding. — I am jealous of any interruption to these 
sublime emotions ; bis presence who fills heaven and 
earth alone, satisfies my soul ; I desire no other com- 
pany. This peace can only be maintained by conquest 
over sin. And Oh ! how impossible while under these 
sacred influences, to be ruffled by passion, or overcome 
by pride. — Clouds may succeed this sunshine. O my 
God, prepare me for thy icill, for I have given up my own. 
— Prepare me for temptation and suffering ; may I be 
strengthened by these proofs of thy paternal care> and 
take up my cross and follow thee daily. 

January 22, 1310. 

When the soul is impressed with a sense of the divine 
presence and love the world in vain attempts to seduce ; 
feeling its celestial origin and destination, the soul leaves 
sensible objects and soars to the pure fountain of life 
and happiness. 

O my God, I acknowledge thy goodness to the present 
moment ; the last week I was in London, a place of all 
others I had before found unfavourable for meditation ; 
and yet, glory to thy name, thou wast there present to 
my soul ; thou art 

1 hi the void waste as in the city full.' 

I have returned to my loved closet, strengthened and ani- 
mated to run with vigour the race set before me. O thou 
best of Beings ; one ray of thy benignity can impart the 
most solid and exquisite delight ; in the contemplation of 
thee how does my soul expand ! How does it long to 
possess the fruition of thy grace and glory ! It is then I 
feel fettered by mortality. may I drink deeper into 
these holy mysteries, and feel more powerfully that thy 
Spirit is within me ; that my life is hid with Christ in God. 
O Saviour of mankind, how inadequate is a life, an 
eternity of praise, to show forth thy love to my poor souk 
O may my short life be a life of obedience ! 



72 DIARY OF 

January 23, 1810- 
It is with peculiar gratitude I record that the last 
months of the past year have been in a spiritual sense the 
best of my life ; God has been faithful to his word ; shall 
I ever forsake him and grieve his Spirit by lukewarm- 
ness 1 Unless I persevere in fervent prayer, in devotional re- 
tirement, and constant ivatchfulness, the ensnaring world, 
and my more ensnaring heart, will gain the victory ; and 
heaven and eternity will be but rarely contemplated. O 
my God, save me from this ! never can I know true peace 
independent of thee ; O enable me to prefer thee to all 
the world besides ; and to exercise a never-failing trust 
in thy providence ! O my heavenly Father ! let me hence- 
forth depend supremely on thy parental care ; and seek 
no other guide than thy holy word. May a more entire 
happiness in thee be the supreme object of my hopes. 
Whatever may be the result of the year I am now enter- 
ing upon, with regard to temporal concerns, may my soul 
but enjoy the presence of God, and all will be well. I 
wish more powerfully to feel the necessity of constantly 
seeking the influence of the Holy Spirit, to renovate my 
nature, to baptize me afresh ; these are evidences of a 
state of acceptance with God. Christ was manifested 
to destroy sin ; and if he has been and is manifested to 
my soul, sin will be destroyed, viz. its reigning and al- 
lowed powers. I must be meek and lowly, humble and 
teachable ; these are lessons none can effectually teach 
me but the Spirit, and he can ; and will, if I act faith on 
the promises, and be not satisfied till they are fulfilled. 

January 24, 1810. 
All things are possible to them that believe ; even en- 
tire sanctification. — Am I advancing in holiness ? Alas ! 
worldly thoughts occupy too large a share of every day ; 
thoughts which, if not immediately worldly, yet tend to 
no good ; vague and wandering. — When I should be en- 
joying God, perhaps I am indulging self-conceit, or 
supposed superiority of mind. — 'How long shall vain 
thoughts lodge within me.' Cleanse thou the thoughts 
of my heart by the inspiration of thy Holy Spirit ; all evil 
is first engendered in the heart ; God looks to the heart ; 
the law. the gospel law, extends to the thoughts of the 



MRS. COOPER. 73 

heart : if the fountain be pure the streams cannot be cor- 
rupt. — May I keep my heart with all diligence, and be 
importunate with God to sanctify me wholly. — Here is 
indeed cause for humility, but none for despair. Though 
my thoughts have been vain, blessed be God who hear- 
eth prayer, he hath not suffered me, through their influ- 
ence, to commit actual and known sin. I must guard 
against judging too much of my state from such frames 
and feelings ; these are often affected by various physical 
causes ; my judgment of myself must proceed from the 
prevailing practical desires of living near to God, and 
obeying him ; and I know that I shall be happy in pro- 
portion as these are lively and strong ; the divine com- 
munication will be opened, and prayer be the ladder by 
which I shall step from earth to heaven. These are the 
blessed realities of religion ; the more they are sought 
the more largely will they be dispensed. The most ef- 
fectual antidote to wordly thoughts and vain desires is 
the consideration of the omnipresence of God. — Alas ! I 
have thought too little of this, and also of the future 
judgment. — For a habitual reflection on these I must daily 
petition the Father of mercies ; believing he will accom- 
plish every thing asked in faith according to his word. 

I am sensible I do not redeem time as I ought to do : 
my plans are too lax, too much under the influence of 
passing accidents ; in work I loiter, and in visiting the 
poor am not sufficiently strenuous in spiritual things, nor 
active enough in my exertions ; this, with the help of 
God, I hope to amend, and to attain to greater diligence 
in business and fervency of spirit — serving the Lord. 

Hammersmith, Jan. 27, 1810. 
Eternity alone can develope the full extent of the Re- 
deemer's love. When we there behold him in the splen- 
dour of his Godhead, surrounded by angels and archan- 
gels, and the spirits of the just made perfect ; when we 
contrast his glory with his humiliation, and ourselves have 
attained the crown of eternal felicity ; then, with an 
emphasis Heaven alone can inspire, shall we exclaim — 
Worthy is the Lamb ! 

Jesus, mindful of the weakness of human nature, 
though on the point of his extreme sufferings, left a sen- 
7 



74 DIARY OF 

sible commemoration of his love, by which an appeal is 
made to sense and faith in those symbols of his death. 
my soul, think a little of this sacrifice. Now the ap- 
plication of it will redeem thee from the power of death, 
hell, and the grave. And what return canst thou make ? 
Nothing adequate to his gift. But what does he require ? 
4 My heart.' O may it be my delight to consecrate every 
thing to him ; and while by faith I see him stretched on 
the cross, may I powerfully feel the dreadful nature and 
tendency of sin. If I love him I shall consider every sin 
as again inflicting the wounds of Calvary. He died that 
the lost image of God might be restored in man ; that 
by the sanctification of the Spirit man might be fitted 
for the realms of purity. 

1 As the hart panteth after the water-brooks, so panteth 
my soul after thee, O God.' I am transported with thy 
love ! Nothing but thee will content my soul. To par- 
take of the precious memorials of thy love is all my 
heart desires. be present with the influence of thy 
Spirit, and let me approach thy altar with my faith firmly 
fixed on Him, who bled that I might never die. 

I desire to be filled with love, and lie prostrate in the 
dust at the consideration of my own unworthiness. 

I want my repentance deepened, my faith confirmed, 
my love inflamed. Thou only art sufficient for these 
things. 

February 20, 1810. 

I was both encouraged and instructed by a sermon 
Mr. Martin preached last evening from Matt, ix, 29. — 
6 According to your faith be it unto you.' 

In speaking of the nature and effects of faith, he made 
the remark, which confirmed an opinion I have long held, 
*hat ' faith is the standard of our experience.' The man 
who believes it to be impossible that he can have a know- 
ledge of the forgiveness of sins, never attains it — he can- 
not — because blessings are imparted only ' according to 
what he believes.' In like manner those who believe the 
man of sin can never be destroyed will never attain to 
this blessing. Faith, that divine and operative power, 
prevails with God. He must impart that which he has 
promised ; and he has promised all needful things. Only 
believe, know, and live up to the privileges of the gospel, 
and what a glorious prospect opens upon the Christian ? 



3IRS. COOPER. 75 

May I but exercise more and more this divine princi- 
ple ! Lord, increase my faith ; and may an eye steadily 
fixed on thy power, bring down upon my soul thy pro- 
mised blessings. 

This day (Feb. 20,) I attended a Methodist class-meet- 
ing for the first time ; and was much pleased with the 
earnestness and simplicity of the people. Their several 
accounts of God's dealings with their souls were plain 
and scriptural ; and I do think those meetings exceed- 
ingly well calculated to maintain holiness, and promote 
it in the heart. The downcast is encouraged by the happy 
state of another soul ; and by the judicious advice of the 
leader each receives encouragement. 

for simplicity of heart to receive the kingdom of 
God as a little child ! Away with cavillings and skepti- 
cal reasonings. When did these ever produce joy and 
peace in believing ? Experimental religion is not a sub- 
ject which a natural man can reason upon ; it is to him 
foolishness ; it can only be spiritually discerned. O may 
the religion I profess be a well of water springing up 
within me ! — A holy principle, producing joy and peace ; 
a principle which shall make me soar above the world, 
feel the divine origin of my soul, and be constantly tend* 
ing toward the source of all true felicity. 

February 27, 1810. 

1 find more and more that my happiness is inseparable 
from religion. If I pass but a short time without think- 
ing of God, and during that time am full of hilarity, and 
perhaps of thoughtlessness, how does it pierce my soul 
to think God was not in all my thoughts ? The nearer I 
live to him, the more superior I become to the fascina- 
tions of the world. This is a divine lesson : I want habit- 
ually to practise it. Reading that has no reference to 
God I find no delight in. My soul has now an appetite 
for spiritual food ; it must have daily satisfaction in the 
contemplation of the Deity, and of his dealings in vari- 
ous ways with the souls of men. It is a pleasing evi- 
dence to my mind that my taste, pursuits, and sentiments, 
are so opposite to what they were. That which was for- 
merly a task is now a delight ; and that which was once 
my pleasure, and pursued with an unwarrantable avidity. 



76 DIARY OF 

delights me no more.— The more frequent and serious 
my meditations are on eternity, the more powerfully am 
I convinced of the rationality of devoting most of my 
iime to the study of spiritual subjects. Wisdom which 
is from above will survive the conflagration of the uni- 
verse ; and will attain its maturity where faith is lost in 
sight. The study of nature I much delight in : while it 
delights it edifies ; it exalts one's conceptions of the Deity, 
and discovers to us the design and harmony of these his 
lowest works. I purpose trying again my favourite chy- 
mistry, and to gain some tolerable theoretic knowledge 
of it, being denied the practical part. Whatever tends to 
alienate my affections from God I would avoid. He is the 
Father of lights ; and if he but illuminate my understand- 
ing, and impart his blessed presence to my soul, and give 
me more and deeper views of my own nature and need 
of his glorious excellence and fulness ; I desire no more. 
I will contentedly sojourn here below, and meet all his 
dispensations with a calmness he will impart. 

Fast Day, February 28, 1810. 
I consider a day set apart for public humiliation a pri- 
vilege ; and although there are thousands in this land 
who wholly disregard it, (and perhaps some of these are 
among the first to institute it,) yet to such as have spirit- 
ual discernment, who know and feel the heinous nature 
of sin, who have studied the histories of other countries, 
marked their rise and fall, traced the progress of that 
luxury and abandonment of public morals which at 
length brought down the just and merited judgment of 
God ; persons of this character justly fear for their own 
land, and at these seasons humble themselves not only 
for their own sins, but for those of their guilty country. 
— My private judgment is, that a fast is not properly ob- 
served unless there be an entire, not partial abstinence 
from ordinary food. — Not that the act, independent of 
the principle, will be regarded by God: this is fully 
evinced in Isaiah lviii. But when the body is humbled 
the soul is more alive to painful subjects, acts more inde- 
pendently of it, and faith and love are winged. By ab- 
staining from customary enjoyments, we learn more sen- 
sibly to appreciate our dependance on God, and to evince 



3IRS. COOPER, 77 

gratitude to him for common blessings. Alas ! how 
many are deprived of these. 

I have this day felt intense desires after conformity to 
God ; to have his blessed image stamped on my soul, the 
kingdom of God within me ; and were my faith greater, 
more habitual, I should be much nearer the glorious Pen- 
tecost. It has been experienced by numbers ; and why 
should I despair ? I find, upon examining my heart, a 
great deal of self-will, pride, and worldly-mindedness, 
unsubdued : but I will not rest till these enemies to my 
Lord are crucified. I have again renewed my covenant 
with God, devoting body, soul and spirit to his service ; 
resolving by his grace to go on from strength to strength, 
bearing my cross, suffering his will, till meetened for 
heaven. Endeavouring more habitually 'to keep the 
end in view,' that solemn account I must render to my 
God when earth and all therein shall be burnt up. 

If no obstacle arise, I hope to meet in Mr. P.'s class 
to-morrow evening. I need every help, every encourage- 
ment ; and to unite myself with the people of God will, 
I hope, through the divine blessing, be a means of accele- 
rating my progress toward heavenly enjoyment. As 
little as possible will I have to do with that bane of piety 
— lukewarm professors, worldly saints. 

It is now ten months since I was induced to hear the 
Methodists, and examine their principles. My good 
opinion of them has increased in proportion to my in- 
quiry. I have found real piety among them ; the true 
enjoyment of religion ; and, according to my judgment, 
the right apprehension of God's word. When they speak 
for themselves I agree with them on every point. My 
desire is to live and die with them ; and, if it were God's 
will, never to remove out of their connexion. At present 
I can only partially attend the chapel. I think it the most 
apostolic church now in existence. The government I 
much approve of ; and as to the local preachers my pre- 
judices have ceased. I have derived more benefit from 
their plain experimental sermons, than from any of merely 
school taught divines. They are too useful to be reject- 
ed, too pious not to edify the humble followers of Jesus : 
I have long had the form of religion, but now I earnestly 
7* 



78 DIARY OF 

desire to feel its power ; — to delight, as far as my poor 
ability lies, to go about doing good. 

March 19, 1810. 
Sunday was the day for the society to receive their 
tickets. With much fear and trembling, I stopped, and 
received, with six others, admission tickets into the Me- 
thodist society. 



It was Mr. Fish who gave her the admission ticket, on March 
18th; and in a day or two afterward Mr. Moore sent her a regular 
society ticket: on the .back of which she herself has written, 
* Happy in God and in possession of the peace which passeth un- 
derstanding.' 

March 24, 1810. 
" Since Monday I have enjoyed uncommon peace of 
mind ; at times great joy in believing : not one wish have 
I had to draw back from the society ; but many pleasing 
thoughts in having so decidedly entered into such solemn 
engagements to serve my God. I went to class, and 
found it very profitable ; I was enabled to speak with 
more confidence than I ever expected of God's goodness 
to my soul. that it may be a means of kindling the 
divine spark into a holy flame ; that all my powers may 
burn with love to that gracious Being, who has so mer- 
cifully inclined his ear to me. I have had the past week 
a full conviction of my acceptance with God. Unspeaka- 
ble privilege ! His commandments are my delight ; his 
will my happiness. for more acquaintance with it. 

March 30, 1810. 
For the last week I have found the blessedness of ser- 
ving God ; of aspiring after more acquaintance with him 
as the God of nature, providence, and grace. I have had 
much peace ; but, how much do I find the means and 
the end connected. When I seek him with my whole 
heart, and resign myself and all my concerns into his 
hands, his blessing accompanies it : the witness of the 
Spirit that I am accepted through the Beloved. True 



AIRS. COOPER. 79 

religion has a blessed reward connected with it ; and 
self-denial brings a present satisfaction. To maintain 
this, prayer and watchfulness must be without ceasing ; 
and there must be strivings against the obtrusive infirmi- 
ties of nature, and the temptations which varying cir- 
cumstances may produce. Stated seasons of prayer and 
reading must be rigorously attended to, in spite of dul- 
ness and sloth. Where the warfare, if religion had always 

' delight connected with its requirements ? It is a state of 
trial ; a life of faith : and to him that overcometh is the 

'■. cro wn of glory promised. 

I enjoyed, exceedingly, Mr. Moore's preaching, three 
times on Sunday. In the afternoon he descanted sweetly 
on the love of God. — 'We love him, because he first 
loved us.' Revelation, reason and experience, all testify, 
that in proportion as we love him and admire his ex- 
cellencies, in that proportion shall we do his will and 
delight in his commandments. In the evening Mr. M. 
preached from Job xxii, 21. ' Acquaint now thyself with 
him and be at peace.' It was a most able discourse ; 
and he powerfully showed the unattainableness of peace, 
independent of an acquaintance with God : such a know- 
ledge as rectifies the heart, and transforms it into his 
image. I found a great blessing in all the services. The 
society stopped after the evening service, and were sweet- 
ly exhorted to unity, steadfastness, and growing piety 
among themselves. 

On Monday I spent an hour or two with Mr. Moore, 
at Mr. B.'s ; I much enjoyed his conversation : he is a 
man of true wisdom — every word has weight. He clear- 
ed up some difficult passages of Scripture, entirely to 
my satisfaction. He has kindly invited me to go and see 
him ; and I much hope an opportunity will offer itself. 
He also promised to introduce me to that eminent saint, 
Lady Mary Fitzgerald ; I should like indeed to draw the 
spirit of Canaan from her lips. Before we parted, Mr; 
M. prayed most affectionately for me. In the evening 
he preached from Hebrews vi, 1. ' Therefore, leaving the 
principles, &c, let us go on unto perfection.' A most 
delightful sermon, on that controverted subject. True 
ardent love to God and man, producing obedience to the 
Divine will, is the summary of the perfection he and all 



SO DIARY OF 

of them preach. He told me I had put the sermon into 
his head by repeating that verse in the morning. I am 
thankful for it, as it tended to confirm me more in that 
blessed doctrine. How increasing are my obligations to 
love and serve thee, thou Lord of heaven ! How con- 
tinually does the manna of thy love drop around my 
tent ! Encompassed by thy mercies, may every day 
find me pressing after more and deeper acquaintance 
with Thee, who fillest all in all. 

And, O may the love thou hast imparted to my soul 
break forth in acts of love and benevolence to all around 
me, so that the talent thou hast imparted may be im- 
proved, and I may render up my account with joy. 

April 9, 1810. 
Clouds occasionally obscure the bright beams of the 
Sun of righteousness on my soul ; but, blessed be God, 
under these clouds my confidence in his mercy and fa- 
vour toward me is unchanged. I do not always equally 
rejoice, but I can trust. Against corruptions, tempta- 
tions and infirmities, I know I shall have to combat : 
a crown of glory is worth every effort. I find my desires 
after God increase ; I want more knowledge, faith and 
love ; nor will I rest satisfied till I am set free from sin. 
I feel jealous of every thing that draws my heart from 
this object. O God ! satisfy my desires. I much enjoy- 
ed the services of yesterday ; the preacher was Mr. 
Reece, from the East London circuit, a man of very 
lively talents, original, and awakening. The ' burning 
bush/ Exodus iii, was the morning subject. He took a 
general and very edifying view of the church, from that 
period to the present. A love-feast was held after the 
evening service : a more rational and scriptural account 
of God's dealings with the souls of those who spoke, 
could not, I think, be given. I had much reason to re- 
joice with all : God is with them of a truth. O, that 
that place may be filled with such humble, holy wor- 
shippers. I heard much to encourage me as an indivi- 
dual. Religion in this circuit, from Mr. R.'s account, 
is in a very flourishing and reviving state. Two hun- 
dred new members have been added since the last con- 
ference. 



MRS. COOPER. 81 

April 23, 1810. 
In being myself raised to newness of life, I find the 
most conclusive, satisfactory evidence I can have of 
Christ's resurrection. My desires and endeavours after 
this, blessed be God, do increase. For this, God endued 
me with a rational existence : for this, Christ willingly 
shed his precious blood. glorious hope ! full of immor- 
tality. There are seasons when I can rise above the tran- 
sitory things of life ; and by faith pierce the veil which 
so long hid ' my Lord from my eyes.' I can now see 
God every where, and in every thing ; and at times have 
transporting views of his greatness, wisdom, and love. 

why did 1 so long live at a distance from my God ; 
from the only source of rest and calm repose ? Why did 

1 ever attempt to compromise with the world ; his ene- 
my ? I became untrue to my heavenly Spouse ; counted 
his service an unnecessary strictness. Glory be to the 
whole Trinity, that all have conspired to deliver me from 
this darkness ; and that every day I feel a willing neces- 
sity to love God, and give up all to him ; satisfied of his 
faithfulness, that if I am but true to the grace he imparts 
he will give more and more ; and that from being a 
babe, I shall become strong in Christ Jesus, being rooted 
and grounded in love. Faith is a continual act; that 
which was imparted the last hour is not sufficient for the 
present : — but God is all-sufficient, and all his glorious 
attributes unite in my behalf to ensure the continuance 
of his favour while I wait for him in the appointed way. 
' To love God ;' blessed privilege ! angels never knew such 
a cause ; it was left for man to attain the heights and 
depths of redeeming love. 

I was much encouraged by a sermon of Mr. Moore's 
last evening, from Rom. vi, 4. I left the sanctuary re- 
joicing, and in my closet had sweet intercourse with God. 
Whilst I was a lukewarm professor I passed on ver} 
quietly without opposition : but now I find my increa- 
sing earnestnest produces many remarks ; and if I go on 
to walk in newness of life, I find that not even my pro- 
fessing friends will be silent. At these things I am not 
affrighted ; only I must be very cautious not to be buf- 
fered for faults ; not to suffer spiritual duties to inter- 
fere with my other daily avocations. For this end, f 



82 DIARY OF 

must redeem my time ; and instead of rising at six as I 
do now, rise an hour earlier ; and particularly be diligent 
when at business. God forbid I should ever bring any 
just reproach on religion ; rather may I adorn by a meek 
and lowly conversation, that divine cause my whole heart 
is now engaged in. I have been much interested by 
reading again Paley's Natural Theology, and Derham's 
Physico-Theology. This is my favourite amusement ; it 
leads me to God, and my eyes become the medium of 
instruction. 

April 28, 1810. 
For the two past days I have enjoyed the peace which 
passeth understanding. 

1 Not a cloud did arise, 
To darken the skies, 
Or to hide for a moment my Lord from my eyes.' 

The inward witness of Christianity is, to the believer 
who experiences it, an unanswerable proof of its divinity. 
While this pervades the soul, (and the fault is in myself 
if it do not always,) how lovely are divine requisitions S 
Self-denial has its joys, and the cross has a sweetness 
which divests it of its name. I feel my nature so re- 
newed, so transformed from what it was, that while I 
constantly feel, ' O to grace how great a debtor,' I am 
constrained humbly to hope, and humbly believe, that 
God is my Father and views me with love. Amazing 
privilege ! When I contemplate his glories in nature, in 
this beauteous globe ; when my heart vibrates with gra- 
titude for the love with which his Spirit has inspired me. 
O when I can call him mine, and know that all his glo- 
rious attributes conspire to ensure my confidence in him ! 
That all, while I walk in obedience to him, proclaim 
peace to my soul. 

I find the blessed effect of renewing my covenant with 
God every morning. I can set to my seal that Qpd is 
* true : he is unchangeable ; and should a distance ever 
grow between us the fault will be in me. Bitter work 
for repentance indeed. Why should I injure my own 
peace by ever allowing indifference toward so glorious 
an object to obtrude on my soul. Forbid it, gracious 
God. Let the love I now feel toward thee every day 
increase. May I never be satisfied without progress in 



MRS. COOPER. 83 

the knowledge of thee. Last evening I bade farewell 
for a few weeks to my good old women ; and I found 
considerable delight in offering up prayer to God for 
them, to keep and support them till we meet again. I 
visited those on my poor list : I hope God has begun a 
good work in two of them ; but what a veil of ignorance 
is there to remove from the hearts of those who have 
passed forty or sixty years in ignorance of God ; his 
Spirit alone can effect it. I have read and talked to them : 
prayed with and for them. that God may give an in- 
crease ! I am at times almost overwhelmed with the state 
of those who are dead in sin ; the awful precipice on 
which they so heedlessly stand. Fain would I give up 
myself to do all my little ability can, to warn and allure 
them to flee from the wrath to come. 

May 13, 1810. 
My going to town has been postponed till next week, 
on account of my brother's illness. I continue to enjoy 
some of the blessed effects of religion : they are to me 
paths of pleasantness ; and whenever I grieve it is be- 
cause my heart at times is not intense upon the great 
object of having a constant communication open between 
heaven and my soul. But I cannot rest without a large 
increase of my present attainments. I have but just 
passed the threshold of religion ; I want to advance till 
I am filled with all the fulness of God." 



In this place, on the back of her second society-ticket, June, 
1810, she writes, — ' In London when received : my mind in a 
calm settled frame ; — increasing desires of entire devotedness to 
God.' 

July 8, 1810. 

" After having been nearly six weeks in London I am 
returned, I hope and believe, with new and increasing 
desires to love and serve God with all my heart and soul. 

My heart is fixed ; O God ! my heart is fixed to be in 
Christ; to walk in him, to have the indwelling of the 
Holy Trinity. for that measure of this incomprehen- 
sible mystery which shall produce in me more ardent 
love, lively hope, and active obedience, Religion ha? 



84 DIARY OF 

heights and depths I long to experience. for a soul on 
fire for these blessings. They are offered to me : I will 
not rest till I attain larger measures of them. Let me 
not rest satisfied with mere desires ; but let me by my 
importunity prevail. Lord, increase the measure of my 
faith ; let me feel myself nothing, and thou my all. 

I am increasingly sensible that religion is only so far 
a source of peace and happiness as it infuses itself into 
the mind, and becomes there the prevailing and active 
principle : indifference is a death-blow to it. God wisely 
withholds his choice blessings from those who do not seek: 
them with their whole hearts. Who that has felt the 
real nature of religion in the soul, as a source of peace 
and renovation, can ever find the paltry enjoyments of 
this world worth seeking after ?" 



The following letter shows her views of the religious society 
with whom she had lately joined, with answers to some objec- 
tions of her pious correspondent. 

Lower Mall, March 30, 1810. 
My dear Friend, 
* * * ****** 

" Your last letter, my dearest friend, so long in coming, 
marks me out rather a more controversial course than I 
am disposed to take. Independent of the true affection 
we have borne each other, I should not particularly ob- 
ject to a paper controversy with you, as I believe you to 
be more candid and reasonable than the generality of 
those who are of your sentiments. But we are friends, 
nor do either of us wish to feel less attachment. 1 be- 
lieve not — but rather to have it on the increase. We 
must not close our eyes to the many sad examples of 
Christians losing for a while their charity ; who, instead 
of loving their enemies, have hated the friends of Christ 
who differed from them in some points of doctrine. — Let 
us avoid approaching the rock on which many, more 
stable than ourselves, have split — That the doctrines of 
the Wesleyans are those of the Bible, I am more and 
more convinced : and after an examination of them for 
twelve months, and of the discipline and people, I have 



MRS. COOPER, 85 

the pleasure of telling you I have joined the society.— 
To keep me from it I have had every earthly motive ; to 
unite me to it, every spiritual one. 

When we see each other, Mary Ann, I will, if you de- 
sire it, enter fully into the points wherein we differ j for 
your present satisfaction 1 will, however, answer your 
questions. — Had you been acquainted with the senti- 
ments of that great and good man Mr. Wesley, you would 
not have asked them : — You ask me, ' If I place any de- 
pendance on my own performances, as being at all able 
to recommend me to the favour of God V — Not in the 
least, — justified freely by his grace, 1 must come just 
as I am, poor, blind, and naked, or he will never receive 
me : — but, observe, — I believe that sanctification follows 
— the tree is known by its fruit. — \ If a man love me, he 
will keep my commandments.' Faith works by love j 
this is the wedding garment. — By the fruits ^f faith I 
believe you and I shall be judged at the last day. Read 
Matthew, chap. xxv. — There is no merit in all this.— 
We are first justified by the righteousness of another, 
and all the good we do is owing to the influence of the 
Spirit freely offered and received, but which we might 
have grieved, and quenched, and resisted. As to your 
second question, * Whether God can regard you with 
fatherly affection to-day, and the next cast you from 
him ?' 1 answer, The decrees of God respect men as 
believers and unbelievers ; the righteous shall be saved 
and the wicked condemned, whoever they be. — These 
are the sovereign decrees : — but as it respects indivi- 
duals, personally considered, there is this condition im- 
plied ; such persons must become righteous, continue in 
righteousness, (by the grace of God,) or if they fall from 
it, return again in order to be saved. But as God is un- 
changeable, and doth not love and again hate the same 
person while he continues in the same state, but as he is 
found doing his will or the contrary ; so he loves and 
blesses the righteous, and hates all workers of iniquity. 
Should we change a thousand times from bad to good 
God is the same in his love to us, or the contrary, as 
we are found doing or not doing that which he requires 
of us. While we continue in the grace of God freely 
imparted, watching and praying, loving God with all our 
8 



$6 DIARY OI 

hearts, none shall pluck us out of the Redeemer's hands ; 
nothing shail separate us from his love : — but if we grow 
careless, neglectful of prayer and reading the word of 
God ; count his service weariness, and hold communion 
with the world instead of the Creator, can you think 
such persons meet for the kingdom of heaven ? These 
instances, my dearest friend, are not uncommon. I do 
believe that if you and I have once received the grace of 
God, it is our own fault, and chargeable alone upon our- 
selves, that we ever lose it. God deals with us as with 
reasonable creatures ; and certain conditions are prescri- 
bed to us. We are to ask, seek, and knock for the Holy 
Spirit : having received it, we are to watch and pray ; 
deny ourselves, abstain from all appearance of evil : the 
power is from above ; and through Christ we can do all 
these things. I have said three times as much as 1 in- 
tended ; forgive me, my friend. 

Through the divine influence, I enjoy, with little in- 
terruption, great peace of mind, — I never was so truly 
happy. I feel that I love God, his ways and his will ; 
and my happiest moments are employed in imploring his 
continual aid, and holding communion with him : indeed, 
my dear friend, I find the advantage of associating but 
little with that bane of piety, lukewarm professors. The 
true spirit of religion 1 find diffused among our society ; 
a nonconformity to the world and a loving spirit among 
its members, helping each other in the paths of religion : 
just what I needed to quicken my poor dead soul, sunk 
as it was in spiritual sloth, and destitute of that sacred 
peace the Spirit has promised to bestow. — Well, dearest 
Mary Ann, do not let these sentiments and enjoyments, 
if contrary to your own, diminish the love you have 
borne me ; mine for you glows with the same fervour ; 
and I shall have just reason to reproach myself if 1 suffer 
the entrance of indifference. All will meet in heaven 
who love God, by whatever name they are called : the 
more we get of this divine principle, the more we shall 
love each other. ! how altogether supernatural is the 
life of God in the soul : how utterly incapable are we of 
ourselves to maintain it one instant. As our wants are 
momentary, so must our supplies be. Blessed be God, 
for all this is promised ! 



MRS. COOPER. &7 

My dear friend, I long to see you, and shall be impatient 
till I hear from you. 

My garden begins to demand my renewed labours. 
When will you inhale the fragrance of my roses, and 
heip me to admire the kindness of our God in providing 
so much innocent pleasure for the delight of the senses ? 
The study of nature is still my favourite recreation ; but 
to increase in the love and knowledge of God almost 
swallows up every other desire ; and no reading but 
what tends to it satisfies me. Brother William and I 
have entered into an engagement to rise at six every 
morning, or forfeit one shilling ; the fruit of our laziness 
to be put into a poor box, of which I have the disposal. 

Adieu, my dear friend ; be assured you are very near 
the heart of 

Your most affectionate 

Mary ■* 

June 14, 1810. 

My dear Mary Ann — I believe I never before this time 
have had to plead an excuse for silence or neglect ; nor, 
truly, have I ever been so little mistress of my own time 
as during the last two months : this alone is my apology. 

And now, my dear friend, I have to answer your two 
kind letters — When shall we meet ? such frequent dis- 
appointment will make me reluctant again to indulge the 
anticipation of so pleasing an event. In the midst of 
your many sorrows cleave closely to your heavenly 
Father, who will sustain you if you roll your burden upon 
him.^ I know of no source of comfort but religion ; and 
all it affords is yours, if you will but by faith make it so. 
To those who love and fear God afflictions are blessings ; 
I believe they are sent in mercy to all. How does the 
chastening hand of God tend to produce self-examination, 
and a thirsting after happiness which outlives the muta- 
bility of earthly things ! it is then we feel the world to 
be vain, and totally incapable to afford a resting-place 
for the mind. 

My dearest friend, let neither of us be satisfied without 
making continual advances in the divine life ; let us not 
rest till we have the constant inhabitation of the Holy 
Trinity in our souls : you know this is promised to all 



88 DIARY OF 

that love Christ and keep his words ; for this I feel 
athirst. What then is all the tribulation of the world if 
divine peace have taken possession of our minds The 
world is such a vapour ; a bubble ! the props of our earth- 
ly dependance are so frequently taken from us, and so 
justly too, (that we may only lean upon omnipotency) 
that present things are hardly worth a serious thought. 

I often think the whole of religion is comprised in the 
word love; — the only taste we can have of heaven below 
is when our hearts are filled with this divine principle. — 
God is love, heaven is love : may our desires and concep- 
tions of this be enlarged ! 

During my visit in London I enjoyed many religious 
advantages : there I have become acquainted with some 
charming and exemplary women in our society. Indeed, 
there is that uncommon primitive union among them, 
that to know one is, if you please, to know all : true 
Christian friendship is in delightful exercise. The un- 
common activity which these sisters of mine manifest in 
their daily walk to do good both to the souls and bodies 
of their needy fellow creatures will, I hope, prove a sti- 
mulant to me to go and do likewise. Our blessed Lord 
set us an example that we should follow his steps. 
Yours in the truest bonds of Christian friendship, 

Mart . 

DIARY. 

July 23, 1810. 

To live under the divine influence, to be casting every 
care upon my Almighty Guardian, to trust him in every 
difficulty, is happiness, is safety. To record all his good- 
ness would require the burning love of a seraph ; for O 
his love is manifested every hour of my life: and that I 
feel no more of intensity of affection in return, is my 
grief. , 

Divine Spirit ! fill me with love, empty me of self; 
bring every power, every facu'ty into subjection to thy 
will ; and the glory and praise shall be ascribed to thee 
for ever. 

I have made a fresh surrender of myself to thee this 
day, O God. I am not my own but thine ! and I desire 
to act and live as becomes one who is a temple of the 
living God ; to be ever mindful that thou seest me ; to 



MRS. COOPER. 89 

watch the motives of my conduct, and not to rest satis- 
fied without having my very thoughts and intentions 
brought into subjection to the will of Christ. 

Hammersmith, July 30, 1810. 

My dearest Friend — My days of quietness and seclu- 
sion seem over. Since my sister's marriage I have nei- 
ther been, nor am likely to be, the same settled contem- 
plative being 1 once was. How is this ? say you. My 
friends in London and elsewhere seem to think they 
have now some claim upon my company ; so that, as 
often as I can be spared, their entreaties lay me under a 
sort of obligation to visit them : hence much of my time 
will oe occupied. When at home my sphere of occupa- 
tion is much enlarged, owing to many new engagements 
of a charitable sort which 1 have felt it my duty to un- 
dertake and prosecute. — Love to my fellow creatures 
makes this a pleasing employ, and supersedes what I for- 
merly pursued with much intensity, viz. reading and 
scribbling. Indeed, when I do read I find it necessary, 
and most pleasing to my taste, to read on those subjects 
that are stamped with immortality : the world appears 
to me such a bubble, and its pursuits such a vain chimera, 
that my whole soul presses forward to a more intimate 
acquaintance with that immortality for which it is des- 
tined ; with that wisdom which will know no end ; and 
that love which will glow for ever. 

But however, my dear Mary Ann, no engagements, no 
new connexions, will ever diminish that true regard I 
feel for you. Our correspondence will, I hope, be main- 
tained to our mutual profit ; and our prayers for each 
other be often offered up. 

Could I but have you for my companion, my incentive 
to all that is good, how much would my happiness be in- 
creased ! Indeed I now find the time tediously long since 
we met ; and as to an interview the approaching autumn 
I dare not be sanguine. Come, if you can ; but pray 
write frequently, and let not absence in any degree less- 
en our true regard for each other : why should it, my 
beloved friend? Have we not religion to cement the 
bond of our friendship ? and have we not an immortality 
S* 



90 DIARY OF 

to perfect and perpetuate it ? What a stimulant is here, 
* In death not to be divided !' 

We only live when we live to God. This is life eter- 
nal ; and if we have the beginnings of it here we shall 
be prepared to stand firm against the shocks of time : 
nothing shall separate us from the love of God. When 
we look at this world, this fleeting scene, mark its chan- 
ges, and feel in our inmost scul its vicissitudes — how 
needful, how glorious is this antidote ! Let us, my dear 
friend, be making continual advances in a deep acquaint- 
ance with ourselves and our blessed Redeemer ; be grow- 
ing in that humility which shall make us feel ourselves as 
nothing, and Christ as our all. Our only safety consists 
in a permanent sense of our own weakness, and of all 
our strength being derived from Him who is alone the 
author and finisher of our faith. 

I have not time to add more, having a great deal to do 
in a little time. We think of going to Bath in October. 
Adieu, my dearest friend. 

Believe me most affectionately and unalterably yours, 

Mart . 



August 24, 1810. 

I went to London the latter end of the first week of 
the Methodists' conference ; it continued a fortnight 
after; my privileges were very great, not only in con- 
stant opportunities of hearing the preaching, but in hav- 
ing social intercourse with many of the most eminent 
preachers for talents and piety. The work is spreading 
gloriously ; the spirit of hearing was greater than was 
ever before known in London ; three times there was 
preaching on the outside of the City-Road chapel, num- 
bers not being able to procure a standing within the 
chapel. 

1 find these means instrumental in stirring me up to 
seek the Lord fully. Many blessed instances do I know 
and see of individuals who began their Christian course 
early in life, and through grace, have been enabled to 



MRS. COOPER. 91 

persevere and grow in the knowledge and love of God. 
When I consider religion as the means of restoring the 
lost image of God to the soul of man, bringing the pow- 
ers and faculties thereof to a divine obedience : regula- 
ting the affections, exalting the motives, purifying the 
acts — herein I behold means adapted to the end : the 
imparting of true happiness to the subject of this grace. 
It is the beginning of heaven. — Glory be to God ! all this 
the Saviour of sinners died to procure. It is his will 
that, justiried freely by his death, we should j e sanctified 
in body, soul, and spirit, by the influence of the Holy 
Spirit, the Comforter, ' the gift of the Father,' which 
he promised should abundantly descend after his resur- 
rection. 

How manifestly then is religion a progress, a race, a 
warfare ! repentance is not the work of a day ; every 
failure on our part demands it : watchfulness is the per- 
petual duty of the Christian that he sin not in his heart 
against the great God. The inquiry at the close of every 
day should be, how far we have advanced in conformity 
to the divine will, and whether a principle of love to the 
Saviour is the actuating motive of our obedience ? 

A remark of Mr. B.'s I wish ever to remember and 
enforce on others * Never to be satisfied with yohr reli- 
gion till it makes you happy.' Daily to walk with God. 
How earnestly do I wish it. I am determined in the 
divine strength to press forward with more earnestness, 
to keep within the veil, as a friend urged me to do ; to 
have more and more the mind that was in Christ Jesus ; 
looking to him for the supply of all my need. 

August 27, 1810. 
If ever I felt an ardent hunger and thirst after righte- 
ousness, it has been the past day. — Last night I felt pow- 
erfully convinced that my love to the Redeemer had 
been too cold ; that he and the salvation he procured 
were by far too little the object of my faith. I earnestly 
prayed that my whole dependance might be on him. This 
morning I felt renewed desires after this faith ; my whole 
soul was engaged ; and to be filled with his righteous- 
ness, to have truth in my inward parts, to be saved from 
all sin j how did I thirst for this ! how did I importune 



92 DIARY OF 

the Father of mercies ! and ! how intrusive seemed 
every object which at all diverted my soul from these 
meditations. I felt the sacred fire of divine love ; all 
worldly talk and desires were intrusive on the calm of 
my soul, and the aspiration of my desires. The sermon 
this evening just fell in with the train of my thoughts this 
day on purity of heart. Who shall circumscribe the 
Holy One ? — He who touches the heart by his Spirit 
may so touch it as to extirpate sin. and save with this full 
salvation. I do believe this. may I never cease to 
pray for it ; but under the influence of power as bound- 
less as his love, believe and become a partaker of the 
divine nature. 

August 29, 1810. 

Yesterday my father kindly took me in his chaise to 
London, to see and bid farewell to dear Mr. and Mrs. 
Moore, who purpose leaving it for Bath on Monday 
next. The ministrations of that good man were so much 
blessed to me that I should ever think it a privilege to 
love and pray for him. 

In the afternoon I spent a few hours at Dr. Adam 
Clarke's, who kindly interested me with a sight of some 
of his superb eastern manuscripts ; the splendour of some 
of the paintings of Persian poems and a Koran far exceed, 
for life and beauty, any thing I ever beheld. — English 
productions never so much delighted me. In one of these 
MSS. the sun is represented shining in gold, with asto- 
nishing effect. The doctor has a superb and most ex- 
tensive collection of books. He afterward took me into 
his palace, the library ; which is almost a museum, 
and contains a large collection of eastern curiosities, 
two very fine mosaic pictures, &c. &c. — He has in his 
possession one of the first translations of the Old and 
New Testaments in English, written about 1370 : he 
showed me also the first edition of the Greek Testament, 
in the fifth volume of the Complutensian Polyglott. His 
copy of this rare Polyglott seems to have come out of 
the royal library at Madrid ; it is in high preservation, 
and has the Spanish arms on the back and sides of each 
volume. 

How inexhaustible are these amusements, which are 
rational and consonant with religion! what fields of 



3IRS. COOPER, 93 

science to explore which raise the mind to wonder and 
adoration of the Supreme Being ! How charming is di- 
vine philosophy ! Lord, enlighten my understanding ; let 
my views of thee be enlarged, and my desires increase 
to know thee and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent ; 
that my soul, restored to thy divine image, may have 
here a commencement of that bliss which will be per- 
fected in the regions of endless light and felicity ! Amen. 



September 16, 1810. 
This is the twenty-fourth return of my natal day : and 
O that I could express hall that I leei of the goodness 
of that Being who gave, anu has preserved my existence 
amid such countless mercies : all the return I can make 
is to give myself up wholly to him, which I desire this 
day to do more than I have ever done before. His law 
do I love ; his commandments are my delight, and I de- 
sire to have no will but his. Accept the poor return, 
Lord ; and make my heart thy constant abode. I can 
truly and thankfully acknowledge that the last year has 
been the best and happiest of my life. With but little 
interruption I have enjoyed a sense of God's favour ; 
and have found an increasing portion of faith and love : 
a greater deadness to the world ; and a desire to live 
only to the glory of that Saviour who has called me from 
darkness to light : and while I feel the thirst which I 
now do after all the mind that was in Christ, I am cer- 
tain the Holy Spirit will shed abroad the love in my 
heart by which I shall be made to delight in his ways. 
Lord, give me watchfulness and faith to look within the 
veil, that the blessed inheritance reserved for those that 
love thee, may be discernible to my spiritual sight ; and 
may I never consider I have attained what is to be at- 
tained till the very thoughts of my heart are renewed. 
During the last year I have united myself, I trust with 
an indissoluble union, to those whom some call the Wes- 
leyan Methodists. As it regards myself, I bless God they 
were ever brought to this village. That they preach the 
pure gospel my examination of the subject leads me to 
decide. Happiness is the result of the religion they en- 



94 DIARY OF 

force : I have found it so ; and with this people I desire 
to live and die. My improvement during the past year 
has not, indeed, been in proportion to my opportunities. 
I have much cause for shame. My affections have too 
often been worldly, and my vigilance slack in the pursuit 
of heaven. may the coming year find me more zeal- 
ously alive, more importunately anxious in divine things ; 
and if it should please the Lord to remove me to a sphere 
wherein different relative duties may be called into exer- 
cise, that his Spirit may illuminate and guide, so that 
my light may shine ; and glory to God in the highest be 
the effect of my walk and conversation. God will direct 
my paths : and he will not suffer me to err while I look 
to him and depend upon him for direction. My mind 
has, on this subject of promise, been unusually drawn 
out ; I have felt confident of parental guidance and of 
my safety beneath heavenly direction. This day, Lord, 
I record the goodness of thy name, the faithfulness of 
thy word. receive me to the arms of thy protection : 
guide me by thy Spirit ; and as I this day solemnly dedi- 
cate myself to Thee, take Jesus for my Redeemer, and 
the Holy Spirit for my Sanctifier ; so I desire to make 
no reserve, but devote body, soul, and spirit, all that I 
have and all that I am, to that gracious Being who 
made me, and has the first and only claim. Amen." 



About this time she received another society ticket, on the back 
of which she has written, ' Panting after a full conformity to the 
image of God-, fully convinced, that to love him with all my 
heart is my privilege, and shall be my prayer.' 

Toward the latter end of the year 1810, a most important era 
in Miss Hanson's life commenced •, her acquaintance with Mr. John 
Cooper, of London, which afterward terminated in marriage. 
Every step she took in this most momentous business was marked 
with prudent caution, extreme self-diffidence, and the humblest 
: <iependance on the direction of God. Indeed the whole of this 
connexion was conducted in such a way as was highly creditable 
to her good sense and piety, and affords an admirable model of 
great Christian simplicity, and highly spiritualized affection, on a 
subject in which these are rarely consulted, and in which, above 
all others, they are most necessary. She thus introduces the sub- 
ject in her Diary ; her letters to Mr. C. will explain the rest. 



MRS. COOPEK. 95 

September 20, 1810. 

"A circumstance within the last fortnight has taken 
place, with which, it is probable, my future happiness is 
essentially connected. Of this I am fully satisfied that it 
has not been of my own seeking, or foreseeing ; that I 
have thus far acted in the way the circumstances demand- 
ed ; and whatever may be the result, all within me now 
says, ' Thy will be done.' 

I never felt such entire submission : I am impressed 
with awe ; and hardly know how to hope. That God in 
his providence shall be my guide, so far as he manifests 
his ways to me, I feel determined. At present it appears 
to bear the impression of his hand : my soul has been 
earnestly and al.nost incessantly engaged in importuning 
his direction. I will follow where he leads. I am not 
my own : into a solemn covenant I have entered with 
him to devote body and soul to his service. To live to 
his glory is the prevailing desire of my heart ; how im- 
pious then to doubt his care, or question his love ! 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

H , September 15, 1810. 

As your favour of the 10th instant was not received 
until yesterday afternoon, it will sufficiently account for 
any apparent want of attention to your request. 

To our knowledge of each other, so recent and so un- 
expected, we may perhaps have to acknowledge the in- 
terference of a divine Providence ; at the same time it 
demands the greater deliberation ; and any thing like 
haste, or a speedy decision in an affair so momentous in 
its consequences, I feel satisfied you will not require. I 
will, however, assure you that no prior engagement will 
prevent me from giving your proposal that consideration 
which I conceive it merits. As I trust we are both in- 
terested in the love and care of a Heavenly Parent, I can 
cheerfully refer the event to his will, satisfied that he 
will accomplish his own purposes of benignity toward us. 
If a more intimate acquaintance would promote his 
glory and our true welfare, we should do injustice to 
ourselves, and to his revealed will, to doubt his especial 
guidance. 

In religious sentiments I dare believe we should cor- 
dially unite ; and this to me would be a most essential 



96 DIARY OF 

requisite ; but in a relation so near, so indissoluble, how 
necessary also is a union of disposition, taste, and pur~ 
suits. How far we thus assimilate, personal acquaint- 
ance alone can evince. I rejoice that you nil a situation, 
at once so honourable and useful, in the Methodist so- 
ciety. May grace and wisdom abundantly descend upon 
you. I rejoice also to acknowledge that although I do 
not owe my first serious convictions to the society to 
which I now belong, yet to them I am indebted, under 
the divine blessing, for all the real happiness 1 have de- 
rived from a ctkstial source. I find that an increasing 
devotion of all I have and am to God is my ardent de- 
sire. If it should please God more nearly to unite our 
interests, I trust this would be the one grand and mutual 
aim of our lives. 

I have a dear friend and father (as he kindly designa- 
ted himself) in Dr. H. From a very warm solicitude 
that he expressed for my future welfare, particularly on 
the subject which has produced our correspondence, I 
gave him a promise that I would avail myself of his pa- 
rental kindness in consulting him on any such occasion. 
I feel in such an instance his friendship a privilege, and 
I hope, through him, my father will be made acquainted 
with you ' proposal. How that will be received I am at 
a loss to determine. It will be considered a robbery ; 
and in that investigation which a kind parent naturally 
makes for a child whose comfortable settlement is the 
mam object of his solicitude, you may find him a little 
particular. The motive, to a considerate mind, will 
screen him from undue censure. 

It is probable, sir, that in the course of the following 
week I shall either see or hear from Dr. H. Let us not, 
however, slacken in our diligence to implore divine di- 
rection that the path may be made plain, that the will of 
the Lord may be known, by the concurrence of my pa- 
rents. I feel such a tenderness for them — such a desire 
to honour them in the choice I make in life, that you 
must expect me to be very implicit in yielding to reason- 
able objections. Believe me, with sentiments of Chris- 
tian regard, 

Mart Hanson- 



MRS. COOPER. 97 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

London, October 2, 1810. 
My brother J. yesterday made my father acquainted 
with your proposal, who was much pleased at my having 
previously consulted Dr. H. He seemed disposed to 
wait on your friend Mr. B., which it is probable he will 
do to-day. I feel satisfied that my dear father will give 
it a suitable investigation, as he received the first inform- 
ation without those prejudices which would have warp- 
ed his judgment ; and therefore I must refer you to the 
latter part of my first letter, as to the line of conduct I 
should think it my indispensable duty to pursue. 

You must not expect to see me before I leave town. 
Farewell ! May the God of peace dwell with you. 

M. H. 
To the same. 

October 6, 1810. 
I find my father has been to Mr. B., but as to the re- 
sult of the interview I am quite ignorant. It is probable 
Mr. B. can inform you. Allow me, however, to request 
you to defer your intended visit here, till it shall receive 
the sanction of an authority 1 am bound to respect and 
obey. 

We have committed ourselves to the guidance of un- 
erring wisdom. It becomes us, therefore, to rest satis- 
fied until the manifestations of his will are made known. 
In this instance, I have the fullest confidence that what- 
ever is the result our good will be the consequence. 

M. H. 

To the same. 

October 20, 1810. 
You so earnestly entreated me to write a few lines ere 
the close of this week, that although I have nothing new 
to communicate, I should not feel myself quite justified 
in not complying with your request. 

I think, my dear friend, thus far, we have reason to 
believe, God has heard and is answering our prayers. 

I can most cheerfully refer the future to Him who has 
thus far been mindful of our requests ; and as our mu- 
tual aim has been the glory of God, and the best interest 
of our souls, we may still repose under the shadow of 
that omnipotence promised and exerted in our behalf. 
9 



98 DIARY OF 

How incalculably great are our privileges ; our supports 
and hopes are not derived from beings frail and mutable 
as ourselves. The Great Eternal is engaged on our be- 
half: he is the source and centre of all that soothes the 
life of man. O that we may drink deeper into this 
knowledge, till we are filled with all the fulness of God. 
Religion is the only basis of true friendship ; the only 
ground for its perpetuity. What a desolate thing is the 
human heart without it ! My confidence in you, and in 
our acquaintance, has arisen from the assurance I have 
that the Spirit of God has made your heart his dwelling 
place ; that your best affections are devoted to the su- 
preme good ; and that if a nearer acquaintance should 
be allotted us, your attainments in religion would be as 
means of grace to me. 

As a direct communication is opened between you and 
my dear father, I wish you now to follow the dictates of 
your own judgment, without consulting me. 

I have just finished the first part of Dr. Clarke's Com- 
mentary on the Bible ; never did I receive so much plea- 
sure and profit from the perusal of any thing. I intend 
giving it, with the marginal references, a second perusal. 

Our journey to Bath is still quite unsettled. We are 
disappointed of a letter to-day which we expected, to 
decide it. Should I go with my mother my father will 
be prevented accompanying us ; so I shall leave you to 
obtain his consent to our correspondence while absent. 
If I go I shall expect to be the bearer of a letter from 
you to our dear friend Mr. M. The thoughts of once 
again seeing him and hearing him preach, exceedingly 
reconcile me to the idea of leaving home. 

M. H. 



October 23, 1810. 
Still, through the grace of God, I am enabled to hold 
on my way rejoicing. I find religion, inconceivably be- 
yond my former apprehensions, a source and spring of 
true happiness and peace ; to which I was a stranger till 
enabled to give my heart up to God, and make his ser- 



3>IRS. COOPER. 99 

vice the prevailing disposition and delight of my heart, 
I am sensible that every good desire and action is alone 
from the assistance of the Spirit of God. I find that I 
have no strength independent of him ; but glory be to 
his name, he is at all times accessible, and always wait- 
ing to be gracious. To press forward is my earnest de- 
sire ; to know nothing but ' Jesus Christ and him cruci- 
fied/ to devote every power and faculty of my soul to his 
service is the ardent wish of my heart. What a burning 
zeal have I sometimes found to be more actively employ- 
ed in the service of my Lord. I have often besought of 
God to make me an instrument of more extensive use- 
fulness ; as inactivity in a Christian seems to me so in- 
excusable. 

In the course of His unerring providence who is the 
overseer of our ways, a path I little expected seems 
now opening. That acquaintance which I have before 
hinted at, which I from the first believed from God, and 
which I most entirely referred to God, appears now to 
be most evidently the work of his providence. The 
mark I earnestly besought him to give, it now bears ; — ■ 
the concurrence of my dear parents. No difficulties 
seem now to oppose our friendship. Mr. C. is to be in- 
troduced into our family on Saturday. 

In no occurrence of my life have I ever so decidedly 
traced the hand of God as in this. This newly acquired 
friend seems to possess all I could desire in the relation 
likely to result from our friendship. Settled and solid 
piety, accompanied by that activity in the cause of reli- 
gion I so much value ; a well-cultivated and good under- 
standing, an amiable and affectionate disposition, with 
the same religious sentiments, and connected with the 
same society as myself. As it is from God, I trust it will 
most eminently lead to him, and that a union formed on 
such a basis will be of especial use to us and to the 
church of Christ. My ability and sufficiency are alone 
of God. 

October 30, 1810. 

Friday is the day appointed for our going to Bath, a 
visit which I trust will produce much profit as well as 
pleasure ; transient is that which only delights the eye 
and the imagination : but when connected with this, the 



100 DIARY OF 

soul receives supplies of divine nourishment, is made 
happy by the immediate communication of the Fountain 
of all good ; then peace maintains its position, and every 
thing conspires to make the mind joyful. Watchfulness 
and prayer, how perpetually needful ! For the few last 
days I have been much harassed and very dull and in- 
sensible to divine things. Last night I earnestly prayed 
for the restoration of my peace ; and in some measure 
found it. I dread lukewarmness, and never can know 
peace out of God, who has visited me with so many com- 
munications of his love. Lord, I would make a fresh 
surrender : let nothing ever interpose betwixt thee and 
my soul ! I do love thee above all the world 1 — I an- 
ticipate much delight from the company of dear Mr. and 
Mrs. Moore at Bath ; his preaching has often been much 
blessed to me, and his private communications always 
enlivening. I hope, through the blessing of God, to 
acquire fresh strength and vigour in the best things, at 
Bath. I may now maintain an authorized correspond- 
ence with my friend Mr. C. It has all the earthly ap- 
probation I could desire. The heavenly benediction will, 
I trust, eminently rest upon our acquaintance ; with- 
out this, we shall in vain look for comfort. If God de- 
sign me to fulfil this important relation I feel assured of 
his heavenly assistance. In knowing whence every bless- 
ing flows, I can confidently look up to him who will 
supply my every need. May I have faith to receive, and 
God will, bestow ! 

November 2, 1810. 
Accompanied by my mother and brothers John and 
William I left Hammersmith for Bath ; where, after a 
tolerably pleasant journey, we arrived about ten at night, 



To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, November 5, 1810. 
It is well that so pleasing a resource is left to sepa- 
rated friends, and that one's thoughts can be communi- 
cated with as much vigour and effect at the distance of a 
hundred miles 'as of four ; and this surely may be the 
case when unreserve and sincerity are allowed to exer* 



MRS. COOPER. 101 

cise themselves. This then, my dear friend, shall be 
the character of our correspondence : distance now for- 
bidding personal intercourse, we will endeavour to make 
ourselves known to each other by mental discoveries, and 
try to ascertain how far '" thought meeting thought,' the 
result of preconceived opinions gives rational ground of 
hope, that in the closest union no future sources of dis- 
quietude will arise from a native dissimilarity. My 
views on this subject are by no means common-place ; 
they are the result of a little thought and much observa- 
tion. With the ordinary lot of connubial happiness, I 
confess to you I should not only be dissatisfied but un- 
happy. From one expression of yours I am led to be- 
lieve that if this be a romantic notion you are also under 
its influence. Perhaps as believers in the doctrine of 
Christian perfection, we may be forgiven for placing our 
standard somewhat higher than the generality of Chris- 
tians ; and if in this respect we do but think and aim 
alike, I feel convinced that our object will be attained. 
Excuse the length of the preface. 

Through the good providence of God we had a safe 
and pleasant journey ; we reached Bath a very little after 
ten o'clock. On the following day we suited ourselves 
with the apartments which we now occupy, commanding 
the most interesting and beautiful view of this city ; hav- 
ing in both front and back rooms an uninterrupted view' 
of the most luxuriant hills, possessing the character of 
Bath, with houses one above another. To the south we 
view Beacher cliff with its hanging woods, the highest 
hill I have seen. The Avon, just beneath our window, 
meanders beautifully along. We are, indeed, thoroughly 
pleased with the situation. Of Bath I can say but little, 
being much indisposed on Saturday. I am, however, 
prepared to believe it the most interesting city by far I 
have ever seen. As you have been here I shall not oc- 
cupy my paper with any further remarks upon it ; the 
tendency of our correspondence being of a more im- 
portant nature. 

I found the services of yesterday peculiarly profitable ; 
heard Mr. J. preach morning and evening, and perhaps 
this enjoyment was increased by the persuasion I had 
that you, my dear friend, had implored this blessing at 



102 DIARY OF 

the hand of God for me. What a privilege to have ac* 
cess to the throne of God ! There, all we need has been 
purchased for us by our adorable Redeemer ! My mo- 
ther and I called on Mrs. M. in the afternoon. Mr. M. 
was in Frome ; not expected in Bath till Wednesday. I 
left your letter in the hands of Mrs. M., who I am happy - 
to say is amazingly recovered. They knew through Mrs. 
J. we were expected at Bath, and I suppose have had a 
hint of something else. Not a word, however, passed 
yesterday. I hope to see Mr. M. next Wednesday morn- 
ing, and to hear him preach next Sunday. You must 
expect rne to be, considerably influenced by his verdict, 
pro or con., as I*apprehend the nature of your intimacy 
with him has led to a developement of your whole soul. 
The assurances you have given me, my dear friend, cer- 
tainly have weight because they are from a Christian ; 
were they from a doubtful character in this respect I 
should regard them as the necessary consequence of an 
intimacy with such an object in view. They always pre- 
cede marriage , but, alas ! how seldom are they fulfilled 
after. Although a former connexion may in some re- 
spects be objectionable to my mind ; yet, as in the in- 
stance of yourself, it has tended to try you, and to call 
forth domestic qualities ; and as they were of a nature 
truly worthy of regard ; though, alas ! for your happi- 
ness, but of short continuance ; yet that little narrative 
has done more for you in my estimation than all I have 
seen and all I have heard besides. Should I ever have 
an equal place in your affections, and find you in all re- 
spects what I wish, I will answer for myself that you 
and the domestic circle round which I shall revolve will 
be all the world to me ; and all my endeavours will be to 
promote and maintain that happiness which, by a pro- 
per discharge of relative and religious duties, is attain- 
able in this life. It gives me much pleasure that you 
have derived from the same source that I have profit- 
able pleasure in reading. How many hours of rational 
amusement have I enjoyed in this way : how often, 
when I knew nothing of the peace resulting from accept- 
ance with God, have the little domestic vexations 1 have 
met with been borne with patience, from the idea that in 
my own closet with my books I should forget my trou- 



3IRS. COOPEK. 103 

bles ; and by the relations of days of yore find my heart 
and imagination fully occupied. How often did I regard 
with pity those who knew no happiness independent of 
company and the ball-room. These were days of enjoy- 
ment : but, my dear friend, of how low and change- 
able a nature compared with that peace which passeth all 
understanding ! which, through the infinite love and grace 
of God I have since possessed. 

My brother requests me to walk with him. Adieu. I 
am going to ascend the heights to the Crescents. 

Farewell : may the God of love and peace dwell with 
you. How is your health ? Do you in general enjoy 
good health ? My mother thinks you look so delicate, 
that I have had fears. 

Believe me your very affectionate friend, 

Mary — — , 
To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, November 12, 1810. 

Indeed, my dear friend, I anticipated and received 
more pleasure from your last kind letter, than from any 
of the preceding ones. The contents were altogether 
congenial to my mind. My hopes and expectations are 
now alive to the solid happiness reserved for us, in the 
prosecution of that acquaintance, so obviously from the 
Father of all good. The conviction of this increases 
upon me by reflection and prayer. — I feel, indeed, no 
doubt that if it shall please God to unite us in nearer 
bonds, it will be the means of more closely uniting each 
of us to himself. It is true, indeed, my deficiencies are 
very great, far greater than you apprehend ; but, ' help 
being laid upon One that is mighty,' I feel full of blissful 
confidence, that the race I have begun I shall be enabled 
to run with increasing vigour, with the expectation of 
comprehending more and more, by happy experience, 
the heights and depths of love divine. 

I regard true religion as the only source of happiness ; 
and that is an effect produced in proportion to the entire 
surrender we make of our hearts, and the indwelling of 
the Holy Spirit. my dear friend, may this be our 
daily aim and walk through life. Our blessed Saviour, 
the standard of our imitation, who had the happiness of 
his creatures only in view, prescribed nothing but what 



104 DIARY OF 

here has that tendepey. If we live under the influence 
of these hopes and endeavours, I fear not the fulfilment 
of my most sanguine expectations. Love to God is the 
source of every Christian excellence ; and surely it was 
in the exercise of providential love, that we were 
brought to the communication of this oneness of opinion. 

By this time I apprehend Mr. M. has answered your 
letter, the contents of which I find imparted no ordinary 
pleasure. For on the receipt of it, he with his amiable 
wife knelt down -and implored the blessing of Heaven 
upon us. How much I felt indebted for this pious in- 
stance of their regard ! Yesterday, under Mr. M.'s 
preaching, I found a renewal of that benefit I invariably 
experienced at H. from his ministry. — The blessed man 
was quite alive ; and every sentence reached my heart. 
In the morning he preached from Hab. iii, 2. * O Lord, 
revive thy work !' In the evening from John iii, 7. 
' Marvel not that I said unto you, Ye must be born again. ' 
I hope long and ever to feel the effects of these sermons ; 
my strength is renewed ; and to be more filled with the 
Holy Spirit is at once my privilege and prayer. The 
chapel was crowded in the evening. Bath is the very 
place for Mr. M.'s abilities to be appreciated ; and I feel 
certain his labours will be much blessed. I expect him 
to call here this morning. 

What privileges, my dear friend, we have as Metho- 
dists ! I find this more and more. Christian fellowship 
being such a powerful means of abstracting us from the 
world, and making us alive to the collective as well as 
individual privileges of Christians. May every talent 
intrusted to us be improved a hundred fold ! 

I have just been interrupted by a visit from Mr. J. ; as 
I was alone I had the pleasure of a serious and interest- 
ing conversation with him. 

, And so you are going into Lancashire ? Be careful of 
yourself, and do not trifle with colds: I hope you will 
have returned before we shall get back to H — — . Write 
punctually, and do not let me suffer from your journeying. 
Our continuance here is quite uncertain. I hardly think 
it will be in the whole a month. 

We went to Bristol and Clifton last Thursday, and had 
quite a wet day for our excursion ; nevertheless, I went 



MRS. COOPER. 105 

to see the beautiful St. Vincent's Rocks. Such a lovely 
spot ! We must visit it together. 

My brother J. has this morning left us. He asked me 
if I had any message ; it is probable he will call on you. 
You are received quite with cordiality by my brothers ; 
and I believe by all. 

May this friendship, which is thus marked by the ap- 
probation of earth and Heaven, be a continual source of 
thankfulness to each of us. May our Christian walk be 
marked with all that can adorn our profession : and Dr. 
Clarke's description* of the original institution, and its 
everlasting design, be realized to us. 

What more shall I say, than express my hope and con- 
fidence that God will enable us to be what we desire. 
That we may live to his glory, and be continually press- 
ing after all that holiness, which shall sanctify us through- 
out, in body, soul, and spirit. Animating hopes ! To this 
God of love I commend you, and remain yours, most 
affectionately, M. H, 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, November 19, 1810. 
As correspondents, my dear friend, we seem to ap- 
prove of each other very well. I trust the same coinci- 
dents will manifest themselves in all we do ; and that a 
growing similarity will be the result of a daily Christian 
walk. You have had painful experience of the uncer- 
tain tenure of earthly blessings ;| it is a lesson we shall 
all learn : ' The spider's most attenuated thread is cord, 
is cable to man's slender tie on earthly bliss.' Unless 
things of heavenly substance engross our best affections, 
our Father, who is in heaven, will remind us that he is 
a jealous God. Thus, watching unto prayer must be our 
constant bent of mind — how needful ! Our dear 
friend, Mr. M., on Saturday when I saw him desired me 
to present his love to you, and say, l You are now in 
danger, that you have need of much watchfulness.' Can 
you interpret his meaning ? he addressed me to the same 
effect. Our intimacy began well : for my own part, I 

* Commentary on Genesis, chap. ii. 

t Alluding to Mr. C.'s former wife, a very amiable and excellent 
woman, who died about twelve months after their marriage, 



106 DIARY OF 

never in any instance felt such an entire surrender of my 
own will, nor so ardent a desire that God only might be 
glorified : and when at one time a dark cloud hovered 
over the opening prospect, which I could not at all pene- 
trate, a sense of the omnipotence of that Being who 
was my hope and confidence dissipated all doubt from 
my mind. I knew he would accomplish his own designs. 

the happiness of having the Almighty Jehovah for our 
friend ! May our love and confidence in him increase. 

My sister expresses herself as quite delighted with 
your dear little girl. I am rejoiced to find that there is 
already the bud of so much excellence, ' a quickness of 
apprehension, united to great sweetness of temper.' I 
am pleased that you are to have the credit of rationality, 
in what is already conspicuous in your instruction of the 
little dear. I much desire to see her. M. H. 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, November 26, 1810. 
This will, I hope, find you safely restored to the enjoy- 
ment of your own fireside ; where a new ebenezer of 
praise has no doubt been erected to that God, who, by 
the guardian influence of his angels, may have defended 
you from all evil. To owe protection to his love, is to 
have every blessing blessed. You ask for a long letter ; 

1 will endeavour not to disappoint you, but as I am much 
indisposed, having a sore throat, and rather an increa- 
sing degree of fever, you will excuse me if necessity 
should compel me to abandon my present intention ; in- 
deed, there is so intimate a union between our corporeal 
and mental powers, that that which gives us sensibility 
of suffering suffers also. Should I be a little gloomy, 
you will know to what cause to impute it. It is a very 
stormy day too ; perhaps the vapours which must con- 
dense the atmosphere, may unite their influence to cloud 
my mind ; and yet peace, the kind boon of heaven, does 
pervade my spirit. It is often assailed, sometimes power- 
fully, by outward causes ; but the prospect of unclouded 
bliss, like the sun, as yet beneath the horizon, cheers me 
in this world. 



MRS. COOPER. 107 

I cannot suppose that any thing can give me real 
pleasure that is not connected with religion. My under- 
standing (as well as affections) is so powerfully convin- 
ced of its testimony, that I cleave to it as to a strong hold, 
and firmly believe our happiness keeps pace with our ho- 
liness. At times 1 feel a little overpowered with the re- 
sponsibility which attaches itself to my future character. 
You, my dear friend, have expectations too highly raised ; 
I must check you, as I would some others of my too par- 
tial friends. 

I was much affected in hearing of the approaching dis- 
solution of your pious friend. Though, indeed, the 
deathbed of such a man cannot produce unmixed sorrow ; 
angels waiting to conduct the happy spirit to the sight of 
those joys which so long had been beheld as through a 
glass darkly. I have ceased to entertain curious specu- 
lations on the nature and employments of the heavenly 
world. My own experience tells me, that to be for ever 
free from sin, to know no interruption to a perfect love 
to God, will be heaven to me : I can anticipate no higher. 
I enjoyed a sweet foretaste of this one morning last week, 
and sunk deeper into my own nothingness, and had ful- 
ler views of Christian holiness than I ever had before, 
O my dear friend, * my willing soul would stay in such a 
frame as this : - but, alas ! its continuance is too short ; 
and I think my volatile nature will ever oppose itself to 
those permanent enjoyments : yet even a glimpse should 
be matter of earnest thankfulness. It proves such a 
cordial ; and even the recollection of it excites the hope 
that these ' angel visits, few and far between,' may here- 
after prove more frequent and more permanent. 

I heard Mr. M. preach twice yesterday. In the morn- 
ing I think he made one of the greatest and deepest ser- 
mons I ever heard, from John vii, 9, 10, relative to the 
intercession of Christ, and the salvation of those whom 
the Father gave him. You know this is one of the 
strongest holds of our opponents, the Calvinists. Our 
view of the subject he admirably, and, I think, unan- 
swerably, defended. It was a sermon I should much 
like to possess ; and I intend to ask the favour of Mr. 
M. to write me a general view of that part of the subject. 

The sun now shines ; and I feel better than I did when 
I began, less inconvenience from my throat. I however 



108 DIARY OF 

fear this letter will not much interest you ; but you know 
when a correspondence is undertaken, it is for ' better 
and for worse ;' and while it is a faithful portraiture of 
the mind, the effects of clouds, as well as sunshine, will 
be visible. This being a state of trial, our happiness here 
will have an alloy : what need of Christian armour, if 
we were never to be assailed by foes ? While we follow 
on to know the Lord, victory is certain, and heaven our 
sure reversion. May we thus prove excitements to each 
other, and ' square our useful lives below, by reason and 
by grace.' 



To Mr. John Cooper. 

Bath, December 3, 1810. 

I am willing to believe my dear friend, that the corres- 
pondence our separation has occasioned has not only 
been a pleasure, but has tended to enlarge our knowledge 
of each other; and to lay open future probable sources 
of reciprocal happiness, should it please God so to per- 
petuate our friendship. _' True love strikes root in rea- 
son ?■ and certainly where the understanding is suffered 
to lie dormant, and the affections alone act and are su- 
preme, such an attachment would be exposed to ten thou- 
sand variations ; and at length, perhaps, to an almost 
total extinction. May I not venture to believe that an 
assimilation in understanding, sentiments, and aims, ex- 
ists between us ; and that the love of God will prove an 
indissoluble bond to our union. Earthly relations, of 
course, cease in heaven ; but I believe the most purified 
affections will subsist among all the redeemed and that 
'we shall know even as we are known.' This state, my 
dear friend, is but the infancy of our being. In reference 
to this idea, let us live and act and anticipate full draughts 
of that bliss, which here we only taste. 

Should I ever fall short of the expectations my letters 
have raised in your mind, I will give you leave to advert 
to them, and reprove me thus ; neither will I ever rebel 
against your lordly prerogative, while you render the 
yoke easy by the fulfilment of your part of the story. 



AIRS. COOPER. 109 

The apostolic exhortations will furnish us with our orders, 
which are never given without arms. 

Need I tell you that I consider our correspondence of 
the most confidential nature ; its avowed object has ex- 
cited a freedom in my remarks, which the sincerity we 
both professed to adopt on the outset has justified. As 
it is now drawing to a close, I wish you to give a direct 
answer to both my last letters, and tell me honestly 
whether you have an unabated and entire confidence that 
I shall possess as large a share of your affections as your 
much loved Margaret? This is indispensable to your 
happiness and mine ; and perhaps it shall be the last 
time I will ever teaze you with the interrogation. Much 
less would have been said on the subject, had I not a 
fixed aversion to the idea of plunging myself into the va- 
ried and multiplied cares and anxieties of a married life, 
without the most positive expectation of possessing the 
entire confidence and affections of him to whom I should 
so awfully entrust my future all. Indeed I have frequent 
misgivings of heart, and I am so locally attached to 

H , that I wonder I ever listened to a proposal which 

could personally alienate me from it. If it be from God 
it shall be for good : — and this is my confidence. 

It remains for you, my dear friend, to close our Bath 
correspondence. I shall expect a long letter in gratitude 
for receiving two. 

I have enjoyed Bath upon the whole very much ; and 
shall feel considerable regret in leaving some kind friends. 
I trust I have been making some advances in the divine 
life. I certainly feel more of my deficiencies, and more 
divine power has attended my meditations on the Scrip- 
tures ; but O how many unprofitable hours have I spent ? 
indeed there is so much idleness consequent on visiting 
these places that my conscience has often reproached 
me for it. 

Last Friday I took a most delightful walk on the banks 
of a canal which runs parallel with the river Avon. The 
uncommon beauty of the scenery, heightened by the love- 
liness of the day, urged me on to a considerable extent. 
I had so much exceeded my ordinary bounds of a walk, 
that when I reached home I was completely exhausted 
with fatigue, I walked fast without any intermission 
10 



110 DIARY OF 

for three hours, for which temerity I was close prisoner 
on Saturday, almost lamed with fatigue. My objeet 
was to reach a place I had heard of, where the canal 
crosses the river Avon, rather a curiosity, which I did 
not accomplish. I have had some sweet solitary walks. 
I hope you are an admirer of the works of nature ; and 
do not despise occasional enthusiastic raptures in the 
contemplation of his works, in the least of which the 
Deity is so conspicuous : I am sure you do not. You 
enjoy poetry too. I have so long received pleasure from 
the resources of my own mind, and am so entirely out 
of debt to external sources of amusement, that I am 
almost miserly in cherishing the channels through which 
these silent unobserved enjoyments have flowed. 

How sublimity is heightened, my dear friend, when 
we can ' lift to heaven an unpresumptuous eye, and smi- 
ling, say, My Father made them all.' As a friend said to 
me the other day, we can never truly bless God for our 
creation, till we can for our redemption. Enabled to do 
this, my dear friend, our lives should be a tribute of 
praise." M. H. 

The following letter written to her father, in reference to this 
subject, is at once a fine proof of her good sense, deep piety,' and 
profound filial respect and gratitude. 

Bath, December 3, 1810. 

" My very dear Father — Your truly kind and invalu- 
able letter of yesterday demands an early acknowledg- 
ment. I cannot express the half of what I felt on read- 
ing its interesting contents — My sensations were those 
of mingled love and gratitude for so unexpected a proof 
of your affection.— Had you in any of your previous let- 
ters expressed a wish to hear from me, I «hould cer- 
tainly have complied with it : though I could not but 
feel a degree of backwardness in adverting to a subject 
you have so kindly noticed. 

Home now begins to wear a desirable aspect ; where, 
upon the whole, my dear mother would rather embrace 
you than subject you to the fatigue of so long a journey for 
the pleasure of spending only a few days here---On Satur- 
day morning, if it please God, we hope to see you : and 



3IRS. COOPER. Ill 

m a few weeks I trust it will be apparent that my mo- 
ther's health has been obviously benefited by the change 
of air and waters, the good effects of which, I believe, 
are seldom immediately discernible. 

I am much concerned to find, my dearest father, that 
you continue so very lame, but truly thankful that your 
now almost necessary confinement at St. James's has 
been so much mitigated by the solid satisfaction arising 
from an experimental acquaintance with divine truth — It 
is consolatory to believe we can be engaged in no con- 
flict, however severe, in which our spiritual weapons are 
not fully adequate to the conquest. It is when we trust to 
our own strength that the world obtains the victory. — I 
most sincerelj wish that circumstances may allow of your 
losing no opportunity of hearing dear Mr. Fry, for whose 
ministerial labours, we as a family have so much cause 
of thankfulness. 

I never had the pleasure of receiving but one letter 
from my dear father, besides the one I am now acknow- 
ledging ; and I feel emotions of gratitude to God in con- 
trasting the period in which that was written with the 
present. — At that time you, with parental tenderness, 
were warning me against that gayety of disposition I 
then manifested, and those antichristian pursuits after 
which I was so eager. 

To divine grace alone am I indebted for that entire 
alteration of hopes and aims, and for that blessed fore- 
taste I often enjoy of the rest whieh in heaven remains 
for me. — May you and I, my dearest father, feel more 
and more that our Redeemer has purchased for us sanc- 
tification as well as justification ; and that the implanta- 
tion of a new nature makes his service our delight and 
perfect freedom. 

I hope I feel truly grateful for that kind interest you 
manifest in regard to my future prospects, arising from 
a connexion which, if sealed with a solemn perpetuity,, 
will remove me from under the eye and roof of my dear 
parents, of whose kind and fostering care I shall have 
so many pleasing recollections. — My dear father, I feel 
the importance of the step ; but I feel also a hope border- 
ing on confidence, that that gracious Being who over- 
rules all events, and has expressly promised to guide 



112 DIARY OF 

those who trust in him, has in this instance manifested 
his will. I believe too there is every rational ground to 
expect domestic comfort. 



New relations will, I hope, never alienate my affec- 
tions from old ones. — For your many prayers I feel in- 
expressibly grateful ; and have long acted on the idea 
that the best return I can make is by constantly remem- 
bering my father at the same throne of mercy. 
Believe me, my very dear father, 

Your most dutiful and affectionate daughter, 

Mary Hanson. 



DIARY. 

December 7, 1810. 

Indeed I shall have much reason to recall to mind my 
visit to Bath ; it has been upon the whole very profita- 
ble to me. Added to the benefit I have found in divine 
ordinances, the letters of my dear friend have much 
tended to excite me to seek with him aifull salvation. 

Our acquaintance is from God : I feel it so more and 
more : with this impression can I, in a spiritual sense, 
expect too much or feel too thankful ? Emotions of re- 
gret I shall feel in leaving Bath. In departing from a 
place where pleasure has been received, the uncertainty 
of ever more beholding it casts a mournful emotion 
over the soul. A stray tear will flow down the cheek ; 
this I have always found ; and there are sensibilities of 
the soul which I would not forego for all the stoical firm- 
ness in the world. The passions, when they are refined 
and sanctified by true religion, are sources of pure de- 
light. 

Christmas day, 1810. 

The return of this day interests me much in a two- 
fold point of view : — First, As the season in which the 
most extraordinary event which ever took place in this 
world is celebrated. The nativity of the God-man is 
the birth of every hope fallen nature could have of a re- 
storation of the lost favour and image of the Deity. A 
contrivance of satisfying the divine justice which could 



MRS. COOPER. 113 

alone originate in the divine mind. By it we have en- 
trance into the holy of holies ; and the gates of heaven 
are thrown open to receive all who in truth receive this 
incarnate Saviour into their hearts. 

As a second motive ought I not to hold the return of 
this day in solemn and grateful remembrance ? on the 
past one, 1809, having received a sweet manifestation of 
my interest in the favour of God : when all my doubts 
and fears were dissolved, and my soul swallowed up in 
devotion and aspirations after God. Blessed be God, 
the witness he gave still remains ; and on this day I grate- 
fully record that my desires are greater than ever to be 
altogether the Lord's. 'Tis true, alas ! my attainments 
bear no proportion to my privileges ; and but for the in- 
finite merits of that atonement Jesus made, I should have 
just cause to fear rejection from the favour of God. But 
he knows my frame, and remembers I am but dust ; and 
he accepts my sincere desires to be his, and my ardent 
longings after full conformity to the divine image ; for 
this end I surrender myself this day ; and feeling my 
utter dependance on divine aid and my native helpless- 
ness, i looking unto Jesus,' I trust I shall become more 
than conqueror over all my foes. The last night was 
so exceedingly tempestuous that I could not sleep : but 
never did I find wakefulness so profitable ; never were 
my nocturnal meditations so sweet. While the raging 
tempest made me to hear and feel the Deity abroad, and 
contemplate his judgments which are now so evidently 
manifested in the earth, I could not help contrasting the 
thunder of his power with the Babe in Bethlehem. It 
was by the Word all things were made : — ' and the 
Word became flesh, and dwelt among us.' He made the 
world by his word, and man by his breath : yet to redeem 
him he must leave the heaven of heavens, assume our 
nature, and in that nature bleed ! thence I took a survey 
of the wot !d ; of the negligence and general indiffer- 
ence to this stupendous fact : men closing their eyes to 
this light, and wantonly choosing that place where hope 
never comes. That God should in indignation pour out 
the vials of his wrath against the children of men who 
do despite to the precious blood of Christ I marvelled 
not ; but rather felt amazed at the longsuffering of God. 
10* 



114 DIARY OF 

Those who will not listen to the still small voice of his 
mercy may expect to hear and bear the thunder of his 
wrath. 

But when I looked on myself, and found in my heart a 
humble hope that I was accepted through this incarna- 
tion ; when I could appeal to the Searcher of hearts, and 
say, c Thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love 
thee.' O then, how little to be dreaded is all that this 
earth can do ? what is its power contrasted with his 
* who taketh up the isles as a little thing,' and has en- 
gaged himself in my behalf? 

January 22, 1811. 

Toward the close of last month I went to London ; 
and only returned here about a week ago. In no other 
place do I ever feel at home to write ; so that I have by 
my absence missed recording some sweet and profitable 
seasons I enjoyed when in town. At the commencement 
of this new year I joyfully renewed my covenant with 
God ; and was earnest in supplicating his grace to enable 
me to walk more closely, more usefully, this year, (should 
I be spared,) than the last. It seems, indeed, probable 
that a more enlarged sphere of activity will ere long be 
opened for me. That gracious Being whose I am, will 
I doubt not afford me grace to do his will. At the re- 
newal of the covenant I was at Queen-street chapel ; at 
this most solemn and obligatory ordinance I found the 
presence of God. The Lord's supper was after admi- 
nistered, of which I and my dearest friend at once par- 
took. To be loved by one so decidedly the Lord's is an 
unlooked-for providence ; and I have frequently, on a 
review of the various circumstances leading to our pre- 
sent interesting intimacy, been constrained to acknow- 
ledge and bless the hand of God ; at times, when I have 
hesitated to do this, I believe the instigation was from 
Satan : for I have invariably found that when my mind 
has been most occupied with religion, I have loved and 
regarded my friend the most ; and have anticipated with 
delight the probability of our being helps to each other 
in the way to heaven. Every succeeding interview in- 
creases my value for his character ; and my conviction 
that he who numbers the hairs of our heads appointed us 
for each other. 



3IRS. COOPER. 115 

I enjoyed last Sabbath exceedingly; Mr. Griffith 
preached, and it was much blessed to my soul : I went 
in expectation that it would be so. 

April 20, 1811. 

Having spent the chief part of the winter in town, at 
my sister's, in consequence of her confinement, I hare 
been taken off my usual and settled plan of occasionally 
writing the state of my mind. I somewhat regret it, 
having found it a very profitable and interesting record 
of my experience. Ten thousand blessings that I have 
in this instance received, have, I trust, made an indelible 
record in my memory. 

A present God, a satisfying portion, and desires more 
ardent to be altogether the Lord's, to be growing up into 
his likeness, these have, indeed, been prominent desires 
and endeavours, though occasionally clouded over with 
unbelief, and obstructed by lukewarmness. ' He knows 
my infirmities, and remembers I am but dust.' I have, 
at times, had delightful anticipations of heaven ; of en- 
joying there a full draught of that living water of which 
I have just had a taste ; and of having a growing love 
and knowledge throughout eternity. 

I have found particular benefit from a practice suggest- 
ed by my dear Mr. C. of reading the same chapter with 
him daily. We began (Jan. 26,) the gospel of St. Mat- 
thew ; and selected one verse in writing for our day's 
meditation. This I have found very profitable, though 
too often careless in the observance of it. In reading 
this blessed book on my knees, and with a simple desire 
of having my eyes opened by the Spirit of God, to disco- 
ver and impress its important contents on my heart, I 
have found it sweeter to my taste than honey, and could 
say with David, ' In thy word do I delight.' I find need 
of watching against formality in it, and suffering it to 
degenerate into mere custom. 

In this and our mutual engagement, at ten o'clock, to 
pray for each other, the Lord has often blessed our souls. 
O for more importunity, for more wrestling for ' ail the 
mind that was in Christ Jesus.' 

The Lord's supper was much blessed to me last Sab- 
bath. I found at the altar the spirit of self-dedication 
and of importunity, for poverty of spirit and purity of 



116 DIARY or 

heart. I bless God that I always feel restless and un~ 
easy when my soul is not alive to him. 

To-morrow we expect Dr. Clarke here ; and I look 
forward with hope of receiving much blessing ; his 
preaching having, invariably, been made so very useful 
to me. 

April 25, 1811. 

I was much profited by Dr. Clarke's sermon last Sun- 
day morning, from 1 John v, 11, 12. He dwelt much on 
the life of God in the soul, through the influence of Je- 
sus Christ ; whose immediate energy, he said, is as ne- 
cessary to support the spiritual life, as the power of God, 
in whom we live, move, and have our being, is to the 
support and continuance of our natural life. That 
which, before the fall, constituted the happiness of Adam 
—union with God — is as essential now as ever, and 
must be restored by the life of Christ within us. As 
the body cannot exist without the soul, neither can the 
life divine, without Christ. It is he who gives the prin- 
ciple of life, and maintains it : and his influence is as 
necessary to maintain the spiritual life of the soul, as it 
is to preserve the being and harmony of the creation. 
He spoke much on the witness of the Spirit, as essential 
to the peace and stability of the Christian ; and as the 
only means of precluding tormenting doubts and fears. 

The Doctor met the society after evening preaching, 
in which he said many very forcible and persuasive 
things ; and from which I derived fresh vigour, and re- 
newed determination to redouble my diligence in the 
heavenly race. How deeply do I feel myself indebted 
to God for so much blessing my union with the Method- 
ists. I have enjoyed this day much love to God, and 
delight in contemplating his name and nature, and in an- 
ticipating that ' glory which no period knows.' I have 
read my title clear, and long for that day when this mor- 
tal shall have put on immortality; and when my soul 
shall ' soar without bound, without consuming glow.' 

O blessed Fountain of love ! fill my heart more with 
this divine principle ; sink me lower in the depths of hu- 
mility, and let me sit at the feet of Jesus and learn of 
him. Enlarge my soul that I may better contemplate 
thy glory ; and may I prove myself thy child, by bear- 
ing a resemblance to thee, my Heavenly Father \ 



MRS. COOPER. 117 

April 30, 1811. 

' Thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love 
thee,' and that I desire, above every thing thjs world 
affords, to have the constant testimony that I walk so as 
to please thee. 

To have all my thoughts, words and works, sanctified 
to thee ; to feel the living principle of faith, and a ha- 
bitual converse with spiritual and unseen things, divest- 
ing my mind of earthly prejudices and mere earthly affec- 
tions, how great a blessing ! thou, who hast inspired 
these desires, and excited these ardent longings for the 
constant indwelling of the Holy Spirit ; answer me ac- 
cording to thy word: thy word, which is truth itself: 
immutable as thy glory : eternal as thy duration. O 
that on it my soul may repose. 

When thy love refreshes my spirit, and my eyes over- 
flow with tears of joy in the conviction that thou art 
mine, how poor and how contemptible are all earthborn 
joys ! When the soul feels its freedom, and exults in its 
immortality, the world and Satan tempt in vain. I feel 
inexpressibly thankful to that Being, who is the author 
of all the happiness I enjoy : that he continues to mani- 
fest himself in such lovely, endearing characters to my* 
soul. And never did I feel more than I do at this time, 
the importance and beauty of religion. 

I have no enjoyment in whatever tends to divert my 
mind from these contemplations. When I read it must 
be on subjects connected with what I most love — God, 
in nature, providence, and grace ; an endless scope for 
reading and meditation ! Yes, I have seen a glimpse of 
his glory, whom my soul loveth. For that purity of 
heart, which God only can bestow, shall be my never- 
ceasing prayer. 

' O could I lose myself in thee, 
Thy depth of mercy prove. 
Thou vast unfathomable sea 
Of inexhausted love." 

May 1, 1811. 
The more I know of my own heart, the more deeply 
I feel the want of humility. Wlien this heavenly grace 
has taken deep root in my soul, the fruits of the Spirit 



118 DIARY OF 

will grow in larger abundance upon it. It is for want 
of this, that when my opinions are controverted, and my 
judgment called in question, that I feel an inward im- 
patience, though spared the outward expression of it : 
and as I have to do with a God who searches the heart, 
so 1 would be as vigilant over the inward motions of cor- 
ruption, as of my exterior deportment. I want inward 
holiness — 

i A heart in every thought renewed, 
A copy, Lord, of thine.' 

My religion must be visible by its effects, not by parade 
and show, but by humility of soul, meekness of spirit, 
purity of intention. Therefore religion must be with me 
the work of every moment. 

This, indeed, will tend rather to capacitate me for the 
proper fulfilment of all my lawful avocations ; not, as 
some falsely say, unfit the mind for the duties of life. 
God demands a reasonable service ; and while he calls to 
diligence in business, he will bestow grace to produce fer- 
vency of spirit. O God, raise me from the ruins of the 
fall ! I only live when I live to thy glory. I only am happy 
when I can call thee mine ; and exult in the prospect of 
enjoying thee for ever. I have ever found thee faithful ; 
I never sought thee with my whole heart, without being 
answered as by fire. let that fire descend and consume 
all my sins, that those enemies of my Lord may have no 
place in me. I cannot question that love which moved 
thee to leave the abodes of glory, and to veil thyself in 
suffering humanity for me; nor that omnipotence which 
said, ' Let there be light, and there was light.' Who then 
shall limit the Holy One of Israel ? With thee, all things 
are possible ; even the full restoration of the lost image of 
God in my soul. 

May 4, 1811. 

I have lately been led to reflect much on the advantage 
of knoioledge in religion : by this, I mean not only an ac- 
quaintance with its doctrines, but a well digested view of 
its gradual developement, from the first promise given to 
Adam, till Jesus Christ ; made plainer and plainer as it 
flowed down the river of time : with a comparison of this 
religion with ail the rest that have ever appeared, and 



MRS. COOPER. 119 

swayed the hearts and judgments of men. In addition 
to this, when we regard its adaptation to supply our 
wants, tc impart food to that immortal principle within 
us ; ever craving for what the earth cannot give, religion 
liberally opens her treasures, and gives the expectant soul 
the hope and promise, that even here she may be ' niled 
with all the fulness of God.' 

I must differ from an opinion 1 have frequently heard 
expressed, and once adopted, that the poor (that is, the 
ignorant,) enjoy religion most. That many of them do 
f enjoy it in a blessed degree, my own observations con- 
firm ; and, that the peculiar circumstances of many call 
more for the simple exercise of faith, for the supply of 
their daily wants, 1 also believe ; and many happy proofs 
are recorded in their experience of God's fulfilling his 
promises in this respect. But the believer, with an im- 
proved understanding and a correct judgment, who, at 
the same time, receives the kingdom of God as a little 
child, with all that simplicity so essentially connected 
with genuine conversion ; while he maintains this child- 
like spirit, and has a growing enlargement of mind, con- 
sequent upon his frequent communion with God, and his 
nature and his works. — This .is, in my apprehension, the 
happiest Christian ; and in proportion as he regards reli- 
gion as the one thing necessary to his happiness, and is 
jealous over every other enjoyment, in which it is not the 
principal ingredient, so will be his stability. And thus 
his advances will be marked with its genuine charac- 
ters. 

Religion is addressed to the judgment, as well as to the 
heart ; it should be interwoven with all our moral per- 
ceptions ; and, while it lays claim to the affections, it 
should have the hearty concurrence of the understanding. 
This I wish to enforce upon myself; and to look well 
how far these observations incorporate with my resl 
state and present experience, 

To a want of this 1 cannot but impute the many fail- 
ures in the religious life which so frequently occur, of per- 
sons who for a while were warm and zealous, and bidding 
fair for usefulness, suddenly relaxing in their energy, and 
becoming cipher^ if they outwardly continue professors 
in the church of Christ. 



120 DIAKY OF 

Those who look for eminence in any science, use the 
means for becoming eminent ; and all their exertions 
tend toward the promotion of their object : — so in the 
Christian life. To be what God calls us to be, we must 
use diligence, and let it be the paramount desire of our 
whole lives. 

May 11, 1811. 

Of what importance is experience in religion ! In every 
branch of science it is considered a necessary qualifica- 
tion. As to a physician or an artist without experience, 
the advice of the one would be received with little confi- 
dence, and the productions of the other would be regarded 
with suspicion. Eminence, the result of experience, would 
be expected in neither. 

What then is religion without it ? How can the pro- 
mises be received or applied, if the affections be not in 
exercise ? and surely love to God must excite emotions, 
near in resemblance and effect to those We feel toward 
a beloved earthly object. The mind delights to dwell on 
an image which occupies the heart. How solicitous to 
please ; — how fearful to offend ; — how prompt to active 
proofs of the sincerity of its profession : with what impa- 
tience and indignation are slanders and evil speaking 
borne toward the absent object of our affection. 

By analogy then would I try how far my love to the 
Supreme Good will bear this test. Alas ! the proofs are 
faint and feeble, though sincere 0, for more love, is my 
constant prayer. Religion, without experience, is like 
the body without the soul ; like the moon, which imparts 
light, but no heat. The plants engendered by the solar 
ray, would droop and die, were they forsaken by its in- 
fluence, and left to the cold, cheerless light of the pale lu* 
minary. So, were I to relapse into that state of mere 
speculative belief, or to the unassisted powers of my own 
reason, which (after having experienced something of the 
power of religion) I once fell into ; so would those affec- 
tions which now, in some degree, though faintly, glow 
with love to God, be frozen into indifference. * If thou 
withdraw, 'tis night.' 

O Sun of Righteousness, cause thy rays to descend upon 
my heart, and scatter every thing which would oppose 
thy warm and invigorating influence ■ 



MRS. COOPER. 121 

Experience in another view is so important, it is to the 
heart demonstration ; and to the judgment it stamps divi- 
nity on the word of God. If the result of true faith be 
'joy and peace in believing,' and my experience bears 
testimony to the validity of this, what further proof can 
I wish of its divine origin and tendency ? And surely we 
may rationally have this internal consciousness, and be 
as certain of it as of any thing that affects our external 
senses. When I am under the influence of joy, could the 
force of any argument persuade me that sorrow fills my 
heart ? O no. Religion does not eradicate, but it refines 
and exalts the passions ; and enlisting this noble part of 
our nature into its service, by the renewing and sanctify- 
ing influences of the Holy Spirit, causes those affections, 
naturally placed on forbidden and unworthy objects, to 
soar and centre in heavenly themes ; and gives the hope 
and promise that our hearts are so capable of a divine 
renewal, as to ' be filled with all the fulness of God.' 

May 26, 1811, Sabbath Day. 
I went to chapel this morning with the earnest desire 
and full persuasion that God would there bless me : my 
hope and expectation have not been in vain ; for, during 
Mr. Griffith's sermon, from John xv, 26, my soul was 
drawn out in ardent longing for that glorious deliverance 
from all sin, which he so clearly showed to be the privi- 
lege of believers, and to be obtained only through faith in 
Christ. 0, it is for this I pant, and without it my soul 
looks in vain for happiness. This can be found only when 
the Spirit takes up his abode in the heart. This blessing 
appears to me so fully expressed from these words of our 
Lord, ' If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my 
love, even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and 
abide in his love.' Here the Son of God condescends to 
show the union to be as complete between him and his 
obedient people, as subsists between him and his Father. 
How sweet do I find that portion I this morning selected 
for meditation out of Romans, where Abraham's faith was 
counted to him for righteousness, ; Being fully persuaded 
that what he had promised he was able also to perform.' 
This was the faith acceptable to God. On those words of 
Him who spake as never man spake, I will now relv : % ' If 
11 



122 DIARY OF 

a man love me he will keep my words, and my Father 
will love him ; and we will come unto him, and make our 
abode with him.' glorious promise ! if, indeed, the Tri- 
nity thus descends into my heart, the principle of sin, 
root and branch, will be plucked up. 0, come quickly, 
thou blessed Saviour : thou, who by the angel didst pro- 
claim thyself as Jesus, who should save thy people front 
their sins ; and who, by becoming their King, and pro- 
mulgating thy own laws, dost demand obedience on pe- 
nalty of rejection ; thou, who by thy Spirit's influence, 
hast inspired the ardent desire I feel to be altogether 
thine ; descend, and never let me breathe without thy 
influence ; nothing less than a constant sense of my inte- 
rest in thee will satisfy me. Nothing do I so ardently 
desire as a fresh restoration, not only to thy favour, but 
to thy image. 

I would this day again enter into solemn covenant with 
thee ; again surrender myself in body, soul, and spirit, to 
thy service. give me but strength to fulfil all thy will ; 
to obey thee in every jot and tittle of thy word ! To be 
brought into this blessed state I resign my will, my under- 
standing, and affections to thee. Reign supreme, and 
* Lord of every motion there ;' and if ever I swerve from 
that narrow path on which I have entered, ever again 
compromise with the world I have renounced, let me feel 
the goadings of an accusing conscience, and smart be- 
neath the terrors of thy threatening ! Lord, thou know- 
est I fully desire to be thine ; to adorn, by a holy life and 
consistent conversation, the gospel I profess. I feel my 
weakness, and know I have no strength independent of 
my Saviour ! and, for the heavenly wisdom I need, am 
encouraged to ask of him who giveth liberally, and up- 
braideth not. I want my will to be brought into subjec- 
tion to thine ; and having surrendered to the Gr at God, 
I ask thee to mould and subdue it, till every opposing in- 
clination is destroyed. 0, for such a view of thy majesty, 
thy purity, thy mercy, thy love, that I may be swallowed 
up in the contemplation and triumph, of calling thee my 
Father and my God. 

May 27, 1811. 

Yesterday was exceedingly blessed to my soul. I think 
1 hardly ever found such an outpouring of the Spirit un- 



MRS. COOPEB. 123 

der the word. I was truly athirst for God ; and when 
good Mr. Griffith spake to the society alone, after evening 
service, so pathetic, so earnest was his address, that I 
shed abundance of tears. May that dear people attend 
to the things that make for their peace. May the work 
be deepened in their souls ! 

Let me a^k, how his address operated on my own 
hea.t ? I felt determined in his strength, who is almighty 
to »ave, to give myseif more unreservedly up to God than 
ever I did ; to press after ali the mind that was in Christ 
Jesus j to be more watchful and more addicted to prayer. 

I especially feei the need at this time of watching con- 
tinually. On a review of the past, I find that little things 
have often quenched the divine fire of love in my soul, 
The indulgence of a wrong temper, or light conversation, 
or any kind of trifling. As Mr. G. yesterday emphati- 
cally observed, * The Holy Spirit is infinitely delicate? 
how my experience corroborated this ! For his indwelling 
in the soul, and unholy propensities, are quite in- 
compatible. 

Lord, my hope is in thee ; I rest now beneath the sha- 
dow of thy wings ; screen me in the hour of temptation ; 
mak^ my heart thy dwelling-place; and let my union and 
communion with thee transform my nature, till the very 
thoughts of my heart are cleansed, and I be made fit to 
appear before the judgment-seat of Christ ! 

May 28, 1811. 
I have this morning found great liberty in prayer ; and 
especially for that deeper work of sanctification I so 
much need, and long to experience. My morning portion 
much encourages me to look for it ; ' Likewise reckon 
ye yourselves dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God.' 
I only live when I live to thee. It is only in this ultima- 
tum of my desi es that I can look for happiness. Yes, I 
am in search of happiness; that which is to be derived 
from keeping within the veil, and receiving continually 
borrowed rays from the uncreated Source of Light. What 
are the effects of the material sun on creation in this 
lovely season? Its cheering influence imparts life and 
beauty to all the vegetable world. The bud swells, the 
Hossom expands ; — the effect leads us to the cause, 



124 DIARY OF 

Let me apply this to the shining of the Sun of Right- 
eousness. While his glorious beams vivify my soul, it 
must scatter all remaining darkness, and cause all holy 
and heaven-born tempers to emanate. My light must 
shine, and its rays must be reflected on others. In vain 
are all pretensions to the enjoyment of God, unless holy 
fruits be the consequence. He blesses us that we may be 
blessings ; and if the Sight of his countenance be lifted 
up upon us, the light of our good works will be manifest 
to others. 

O what a lovely thing is religion ! what a pure and 
never-failing spring of happiness ! 

It was a song worthy of God and of angels when the 
Deity was about to veil his glory in our humanity, to 
proclaim, * Peace on earth ; good will toward men.' O 
my soul, ever be suspicious when thou art clouded with 
discontent. Be assured, that distance from God is the 
cause. He dwells with the poor and contrite, to revive 
their hearts : all his footsteps are love. His name is 
love. ' He that dwelleth in love, awelleth in God, and 
God in him.' 

June 1, 1811. 

After an absence of three years, (supplied by a regular 
correspondence,) I have again enjoyed the company of 
my dear friend, Mary Ann , and the friendship which has 
for four years subsisted between us will receive additional 
strength from our recent interview. We find indeed but 
one spirit in the glorious pursuit of everlasting happiness ; 
and I believe are equally alive to the desire to press for- 
ward, and to drink deeper and deeper into God ! But, 
alas ! in many particulars I find myself far below my 
dear friend ; and the few days I have enjoyed her society 
have tended much to show me the defective parts of my 
deportment. 

Night of the same day. 
This evening I have parted from nr lovely friend, after 
having enjoyed a few hours (in a sweet walk) of the 
most affectionate and friendly converse. We parted with 
our hearts more than ever kr.it together, cemented by the 
bonds of true religion ; and after having, on our knees, 
mutually commended each other to God, and blessed him 



3IRS. COOPEH. 125 

ibr all the happiness and profit our friendship had afforded 
us, we parted with the full assurance of meeting each 
other in the abodes of endless bliss. ! they were sweet 
moments, when we unbosomed our souls to our heavenly- 
Father ; and when my dear Mary Ann, with all that piety 
and sweet simplicity for which she is so conspicuous, 
poured out her soul in ardent requests for our mutual 
happiness. To relieve that sadness, which separation 
from one so truly loved has cast over my mind, I note 
down the interesting attendants of our adieu. Can I for- 
bear acknowledging to that God, from whom I receive 
every thing I enjoy, the gratitude I feel for the delights 
of friendship. To him I owe my friend. To him we 
both owe that sweet kindred flow of affection, that ardent 
pursuit of heaven-born joys, which I trust will ever 
characterize us. 

When I take a survey of the countless mercies which 
encompass me, and find myself so distinguished by tem- 
poral and spiritual good, I feel my deficiency in grati- 
tude and love to thee, thou Source of blessedness. 

stamp upon my soul all thy image ; and let me daily 
feel more my obligations, and more fervent love to thee ! 
I want to live nearer to my God, and to enjoy all the 
happiness he so delights to bestow. The desire thou 
hast implanted, blessed God, wilt not thou accept ? I 
ask not for temporal good ; but I do a?k for a deeper ac- 
quaintance with thyself, and for longing desires after im- 
mortality. Is my only reliance on Jesus, the author and 
finisher of faith? Do I cast myself wholly upon him, 
convinced of my utter helplessness and his all-suffi- 
ciency ? 

This is the general frame of my heart, though too 
often I feel a want of simplicity in casting myself on 
his merits alone. I am too apt to connect enjoyment with 
safety. When happy in his love my evidences are bright ; 
but when unbelief prevails then I do not sufficiently look 
to him who is still interceding on my behalf; and from 
w T hose love nothing can ever separate me but the indul- 
gence of sin. 1 want an increase of simple faith, and of 
momentary dependance on the charity of Heaven. 

1 have too frequently omitted ejaculatory and private 
prayer : I mean mid-day engagements. I have too readily 

li* 



126 DIARY OF 

allowed myself in excuses for not rising early. O, how 
long is the catalogue of sins of omission ! Were I to die 
this week, what have I left undone which I should then 
wish I had performed ? Lord, give me wisdom to make 
this inquiry. 

Does my sense of gratitude bear any proportion to the 
benefit I have already received, and am y* t likely to re- 
ceive from that providential intimacy subsisting between 
my dearest friend and me? In acknowledging God as 
the author of my blessings have I duly estimated his 
goodness in imparting them ? Indeed I have not ; and 
am justly condemned for my ingratitude. May none of 
these things at the hour of death rise up to afflict me ! 

I am not sufficiently mindful of those innumerable 
temporal blessings by which I am distinguished. 

My cup runs over ; and in spirituals and temporals 
how peculiarly am I favoured ! 

* Transported with the view, I 'm lost 
In wonder, love, and praise.' 

I feel self-abased in the recollection how cold my love 
to the souls of others has been. I have suffered oppor- 
tunities for serious conversation to pass unimproved. 
In this I am altogether condemned. Lord, forgive me, 
and awaken in me such a deep concern for their eternal 
welfare as shall give me incessant and ardent importunity 
with thee for their salvation. 

lam an accountable creature ; Lord, wert thou strict 
to mark iniquity I could not stand ; for even on a review 
of my sins of omission and commission I am self-con- 
demned, and could not hope for thy clemency were there 
not an infinite atonement. Lord, I have no excuse to 
offer, only my plea is that Jesus died ; but I have record- 
ed them, and now deplore them that I may find grace to 
do so no more ; but to exercise more watchfulness, more 
self-denial, a praying spirit ; that being quickened I may 
every day rise to newness of life, and be a faithful and 
obedient subject to Jesus m\ King and my Master, who 
is the Saviour and Presener of my soul. 



MRS. COOPER. 127 

To Miss . 



I cannot tell you, dearest Mary Ann, how much I re- 
gret the transient nature of the pleasure I enjoyed in 
your company. Fleeting as the moments were, I hope 
the good effects will be lasting. 1 find my affections more 
than ever united to you ; and I think I better estimate 
the value of that friendship for which I have often bless- 
ed God ; and feel assured that our union with all the 
redeemed will be eternal. 

I anticipate the continuation of our correspondence 
with renewed pleasure; and tru?t increasing advantage 
will be the result ; and as we are now decided candidates 
for an immortal crown, so f hope our warfare will be 
continual ; and that we shall have in the course of our 
spiritual contest much of that peace which passeth under- 
standing. 

I feel at this time the blessedness of ealiing* God my 
Father; and have an inward peace which is indescriba- 
ble. — O my dear Mary Ann, the more I drink of the foun- 
tain of living waters the more I feel my thirst abate for 
earth-born joys .— the more I experience of religion the 
more I find its adaptation to my every want. 

To excite each other to these immortal hopes and en- 
joyments shall be our aim by our letters and prayers ; 
and as the time approaches for our entrance on those new 
and important engagements which we both have in pros- 
pect, I trust our application to the all-sufficient source of 
strength and wisdom will be in proportion to our need ; 
that every new and relative duty may be filled up in the 
fear of God ; that we may shine as lights in the world, 
and exemplify the spirit of our Lord and Master. 

Farewell, my much loved invaluable friend. In all 
your future trials may you find support by looking up- 
ward, and looking forward : it will be but for a little— 
Yours, truly and affectionately, 
Mary Hanson. 



diary. 

June 15, 1811. 
I think I never felt more powerfully than I have the 
last week the sensation of gratitude, A retrospect of 



128 DIARY OF 

my past life, a sense of the countless blessings by which 
I am at present surrounded, and my happy prospects of 
the future ; all have constrained me to call on my soul, 
and all that is within me, to bless His holy name. I have 
really been led to think no one ever had such peculiar 
motives for gratitude ; and yet I never felt the want of it 
more. In heaven this noble principle will have full and 
uninterrupted exercise : when the soul, released from 
its cumbrous clay, will have every fac lty in full and 
perfect action. The thought of heaven, how does it 
inspire me with joy , with courage to fight manfully 
every enemy that would oppose my progress thither. 

Regeneration ! Yes, it is so indeed. A new life is 
imparted to the soul that lays hold of religion. Desires, 
hopes, aims, taste, all undergo a complete change. I 
bless God that in all these particulars I can trace a new 
principle to what formerly influenced me. God, being 
the centre of my happiness, the circle of my enjoyments 
is unlimited ; and those desires after God, which nothing 
short of eternity can satisfy, must emanate from the infi- 
nite and eternal Source of all mind. 

' O love divine, how sweet thou art, 
When shall I find my longing heart 
All taken up by thee.' 



'Our blessings brighten as they take their flight.' 

As every day brings me nearer to the time when I 
must leave this loved spot, I view its receding beauties 
with considerable emotion. The culture of my flowers 
which so often engaged my attention ; their lovely hues 
that always charmed me, and led me to trace His hand 
£ whose sun exalts, whose breath perfumes, whose Spirit 
paints.' Sweet warblers of the grove, with whose hymns 
of praise my heart has so often been in unison, I must 
leave you all : thankful I feel for the pure delights ye 
have afforded me, for the honeyed store of enjoyment 
the works of God have imparted ; and for being enabled 
to practise the happy art of deriving my reflections from 
the objects that surrounded me. The book of nature, 



MRS. COOPER* 129 

I have with delight perused to a considerable degree : 
in a little time 1 must quit this volume ; and by my re- 
moved residence to London, shall be called upon, in a 
more enlarged and frequent manner, to study God in the 
volumes of providence and grace. I cannot then repine : 
nay, I will even believe that that Being who so clearly 
marks out my path has greater enjoyments and useful- 
ness in store for me than I ever had ; and tbi I shall 
experience if led to a deeper acquaintance with him, 
and to a more confirmed \igour in the pursuit of holi- 
ness. 

I shall immediately have a sweet immortal plant to cul- 
tivate and rear for the paradise of God.* By my own 
example, spirit, and conduct, by my unwearied instruc- 
tion, aided by the Holy Spirit, I trust I shall be enabled 
to direct the eye and attention of that sweet creature to 
those abodes of glory on which her dear, though un- 
known parent has entered. I feel in prospect its im- 
portance ; but to Him who is all-sufficient I will apply 
for wisdom and grace, that my preconceived notions of 
education (which I think have been well considered and 
digested) may be put into full effect. 

Religion must be interwoven in all, in every part ; so 
that the mind may be fully impressed that the object of 
all is to prepare her here to be useful and happy, and to 
live in the enjoyment of God for ever. 

June 22, 1811. 

Through the last week I think I have suffered my mind 
to be too much occupied with domestic engagements* 
They would have been performed equally well had my 
thoughts been less engrossed by the occupation. I feel I 
have lost strength by it ; and this is a point of danger to 
which I shall hereafter be much more exposed. A tempt- 
ation to evil may be concealed amid our most lawful en- 
gagements ; and a constant recurrence to that Being who 
ha> grace and wisdom to impart to all, in all circum- 
stances, is indeed a duty and a privilege. 

O that spirituality of mind were more a habit than it 
is with me ! I feel a want of more constant union and 
communion with God. He gives us grace that we mav 

* Mr. C.'s cliild by his former wife. 



130 DIARY OF 

use it; we must be co-workers with him. This my 
daily experience shows me. I more and more feel the 
need of a simple depen dance on Jesus. I do not suffi- 
ciently look to him in every dealing of providence and 
grace. But I desire it earnestly, and to walk by faith 
in him. 

July 6, 1811. 

In expectation of receiving on the morrow the holy 
sacrament of the Lord's supper, I devoted some time 
this evening for the more immediate contemplation of 
it ; and endeavoured to enter into an examination of 
the state of my heart toward God. I was much edified 
and assisted in reading parts of Thomas a Kempis ; and 
found my soul very much drawn out toward God in 
prayer. The intercourse was open, and I felt the in- 
describable blessedness of viewing my blessed Redeemer 
as having suffered, and now interceding on my behalf. 
I trust, indeed, it is a foretaste of the more abundant 
satisfaction I shall find on the morrow, at the blessed 
feast of love. that at the table of my Lord, he may 

1 Answer the gracious end in me 

For which his precious life was given ; 
Redeem from all iniquity, 
Restore, and make me meet for heaven!' 

that the root of unbelief, which keeps me so long 
from this blessing, may there receive its death-wound. 
That there my Saviour's image may be stamped on my 
soul ; there may I find his precious death effectual for 
the removal of all his enemies — nay, their utter destruc- 
tion. 

1 cannot partake of the dying memorials of my Re- 
deemer's love without finding fresh and lively incentives 
to consecrate myself anew to his service. O, if it be 
possible, I would do it more unreservedly than I ever did. 
O may my whole soul be fully engaged in this all-import- 
ant surrender ; and may the last sacrament I may ever 
receive here be the best. May 1, in time to come, recur 
to it as a season when ' His banner over me was love ;' 
when I sat under his shadow with great delight, exulting 
in the conviction ' that mv Beloved is mine, and I am 
hi?.' 



MRS. COOPER. 131 

July 7, 1811. 

Upon the whole, I have found the services of this day 
very profitable ; and before the morning service found 
great liberty and delight in my supplications at the throne 
of grace. At the table of the Lord I experienced sweet 
peace in making a fresh surrender of my soul to Jesus. 
I am indeed athirst for more love ; and long to prove all 
the power of his death in saving me from inward sin. I 
want deliverance from a certain quickness in my disposi- 
tion, which makes me so alive to the slightest imputation 
from others on my past or present conduct. This implies 
a great want of humility and lowliness of mind. Had I 
a deeper acquaintance with myself, I hardly think this 
disposition of mind would so often harass me. I want to 
lie lower at the footstool of my Saviour ; I want to feel 
unmoved by offences, and to have my heart glow with the 
same degree of love toward the offender. When per- 
fected in love this will be the happy disposition of my soul. 

O Thou, whose eyes are as a flame of fire, espying the 
secret springs and motives of my inmost soul, it satisfies 
me not that my fellow creatures approve and admire my 
outward deportment : What will this approbation avail ? 
It is thine, O God. I need ; and unless the verv thoughts 
of my heart are cleansed, the motives and principles of 
my conduct made pure and upright, without this testi- 
mony I am restless. When I have experienced most hap- 
piness in thee, it has been when my thoughts have been 
all put in requisition ; all subservient to the glorious hopes 
and the animating prospects beyond the grave. 

When the Comforter takes up his -abode in my heart, 
then all will be subdued to my heavenly King. 

July 21, 1811. 
It is a reflection peculiarly pleasing to my mind, that 
the still small voice of God allured me into the paths of 
true religion, amidst the enjoyments of every thing the 
world afforded ; health, friends, and prosperity. Deeply 
conscious of the incapacity of all these things to impart 
the peace and happiness for which I thirsted — won by the 
loveliness of the gospel, I was enabled, through the ope- 
rations of divine grace, to take the Lord for my portion ; 
I was gradually brought to experience the privileges of 



132 biary e# 

my charter as a Christian ; and, when pardon was spoken 
to my heart, when peace and joy took place of doubt and 
fear, then I could say, * He is the altogether lovely,' his 
paths are peace. 

To the present moment I have never lost the assurance 
I then received, of my adoption into the family of heaven. 
It is true, clouds, dark clouds, have often veiled the Sun 
of Righteousness from my eyes ; but still i could believe 
he ioved me. 

While I possess this blessed hope, no change of out- 
ward circumstances, no privation of health or loss of 
friends, can make me essentially miserable. Give me but 
the internal support, the peace of God, surpassing all un- 
derstanding ; then pain will be sweet, and the sting of 
adversity will be extracted. Repose in Christ and his 
promises can preserve me unmoved amid the varying 
calamities of this state of trial. God has not promised 
the Christian exemption from trial, but he has promised 
support under it ; and has declared his unwillingness to 
afflict. 

It is the hand of love, guided by a tender father, when 
the probing knife is used. Well, then, having surrendered 
myself to God, virtually renouncing my own will, I would, 
without anxiety, commend myself and all future events 
into his hands. 

In point of suffering, I feel that I have too little resig- 
nation, and my own will is much too predominant. Want 
of faith in God alone makes this fear so full of torment. 
Having nothing to do with the events of my future life, 
but to submit to them, sustained by the positive assurance 
that 'all things shall work together for my good,' I desire 
to yield myself up entirely to the Lord, and say, ' Not 
my will, but thine be done.' 

These reflections have arisen chiefly from the near 
contemplation of an event to me of the utmost importance. 
Very soon I shall quit this abode of my infancy and youth ; 
scenes of mirth and folly ; scenes too of peace and holy 
joy. More than ordinarily privileged with books and 
leisure, for a considerable time, the improvement of my 
mind, the gratification of my understanding, was the joy 
and business of my life : even then I pitied those, who, 
in the enjoyments of sense alone, suffered the season of 



MRS. COOPER. 133 

youtji to pass by. This state of mind succeeded a con- 
siderable disposition to pursuits of gayety : and, had I 
been unbridled by education, I should have launched out 
into all tile scenes of gayety so bewitching to the young. 
Thanks be to God for the restraints thus imposed ! As far 
as I could I proved the pleasures of life, but the omni- 
science of God then oppressed me. 

How powerful are the effects of a religious education ! 
Under the ministry of the Rev. Mr. Fry, the latter end 
of the year 1803, I became broad awake to the import- 
ance of eternal things ; and for several months was ear- 
nest and devout. We left London— the preaching here 
not congenial ; losing sacramental opportunities, religion 
lost its power ; and soon I retained nothing but the name 
and the exterior. Books then I devoured with avidity, 
and the midnight hour has often found me in my closet, 
poring over the page of history, and the discoveries of 
natural philosophy. 

Was I then happy ? no ! going farther and farther 
from God, I often wept when alone, and hardly knew 
why. Sometimes a sermon roused me ; oftener my own 
reflections brought me to my knees. My little bark was 
tossed, without a pilot. What a mercy I was not then 
permitted to set sail on the ocean of life. I was safely 
harboured under a paternal roof: and though without 
rudder or compass, the mischief could not be extensive, 
because confined. Thus, at a distance from happiness, 
forgetful of the great end of my being, in positive dis- 
obedience to my Maker, I lived, until providentially led 
to hear the simple, unadorned, yet earnest preaching of 
the Wesleyan Methodists. The most inferior of their 
preachers roused and fixed my attention. I lost my 
critical spirit ; no longer thirsted for the flowers of 
oratory, the elegance of diction ; but began to seek and 
find spiritual food for my hungry soul. I first heard 
them occasionally, then more frequently, and at length 
constantly ; and after twelve months hearing them, be- 
came a member of the society, in March, 1810. Since 
that period 1 have sought, and I have found real hap- 
piness in religion ; an effect more particularly the result 
of our creed : so Scriptural, so divine T I owe all of bap- 
12 



134 DIARY OF' 

piness to them as instruments, to God as the source. 
Glory be to his name ! 

Happy moments I have here enjoyed ; impelled by 
the influence of divine love, my soul was on fire for use- 
fulness ; to talk and pray with the poor, to aid their ne- 
cessities, as far as I could, now became, to the utmost of 
my power, my sweet employ. In self-denial was my 
joy ; love was the spring of my obedience, and all the 
commands of God were my delight. Blessed be God, 
this is still my experience. 

My union with the society introduced me to many 
very valuable friends in London. In a way most clearly 
providential one is about to remove me from this sphere 
of long- tried enjoyment. In a few- weeks I shall bid 
adieu to you all, scenes of pain and of pleasure ! My 
opportunities of usefulness here are about to close. O 
that I had been more faithful, more active, more ear- 
nest ! 

An important event has indeed attached itself with my 
union to this society i through it I have acquired the 
dearest friend I ever had, and live in the heart and af- 
fections of one who appears to be fully worthy of mine. 
I have had daily cause to bless God for it ; and believe 
I shall throughout eternity. No opposition has checked 
our path ; a seeming concurrence of earth and heaven, 
the final approval of my will, my heart, my judgment. 
1 have the most unbounded confidence in the piety, dis- 
position, and understanding of my beloved friend ; and I 
have before me every prospect of all that is to be enjoy- 
ed in the married life." 



In the following thoughts on domestic order and discipline, there 
is as much of sound sense as of genuine piety. 

August 7, 1811 . 
" I hope I have not lived to the present time, without 
deriving some very important lessons from observation 
and experience, particularly m domestic life. This is 
the sphere of a woman's action. It is here that full scope 
is given for the right use of her understanding, and for 
the exemplification of true religion. A very important 



:urs* cooper. 135 

trust is committed to her ; and I am inclined to think, 
that on her, primarily, the happiness as well as good 
order of a family devolve. Her trials will chiefly arise 
from those of her own household ; it is therefore of very 
great importance, that a good and decisive system should 
be first arranged. Let it be fully impressed on the do- 
mestics, that such things and such rules you expect will 
be observed. The fewer deviations, the more their com- 
fort as well as that of their superiors will be preserved. 
But it is from the breach of good crder, the non-perform- 
ance of things necessary and expected to be done, that the 
trials and exercise of temper and patience chiefly arise ; 
— hence the vast importance of self-command. A remark 
of Epictetus, a heathen moralist, just now occurs to me — 
' Begin to govern your passions in the smallest things : is 
your oil spilt,' &c. , * submit with patience, and say to your- 
self, at this rate do I purchase tranquillity and constancy 
of mind. Nothing good is acquired without labour. 
When you call your servant, imagine he may be out of 
the way, or employed in something you will not have him 
io do, but do not make him so great as to have it in his power 
to give you disturbance.'* Were these the suggestions of a 
heathen ? and shall a Christian, blessed with such a per- 
fect system of morals, called upon to be meek and lowly 
like his Master ; promised strength from above equal to 
every exigence : shall he put himself in the power of every 
iittle accident, and by it give his household reason to 
question the sincerity of his religion ? forbid it, thou 
ever-present Deity ! who at all times takest cognizance 
of the actions of thy creatures. 

Our tempers are chiefly exercised by an opposition to 
self-will; and the more self-importance there is in the 
character, the more frequent, and the greater in degree, 
will be the trial. 

It appears to me well to settle it in the mind, that daily 
trials may or will arise ; trials knoivn to God, and which 
may greatly tend to promote a spirit of watchfulness and 
self-acquaintance ; and from a proper use of them the 
Christian temper may become more established. For 
this end, how needful every morning to pray for special 
grace to keep me from manifesting any temper contrary 
to the grospel, either by hard or unkind speeches, or of 



136 DIARY OF 

suffering trifles wholly to engross that mind which ought 
supremely to be fixed on heavenly things. The indul- 
gence of evil tempers * darken evidences and cloud com- 
forts.' Most earnestly do I entreat of God a complete mas- 
tery over myself, that, as far as I am concerned, my house 
may be a Bethel ; that servants and all connected with 
me may be constrained to admire the blessedness and 
efficacy of true religion. What importance will then at- 
tach to my admonitions ! How much greater will their 
respect be for a mistress who has reason at her command, 
and enforces all by a spirit of love. 

The Saviour never gave orders without providing arms, 
and there is no precept in the blessed gospel, for the per- 
formance of which God is not ready to communicate di- 
vine strength. Good order and punctuality I consider of 
vast importance, in the right regulation of a family. This 
will have its foundation in early rising, a thing I hope to 
accomplish ; without it I shall be unable to devote that 
time, I hope ever to consider a duty, of doing, in various 
ways, good to my indigent fellow creatures. 

There is something very delightful in living to good 
purpose ; to have the prayers and blessings of the pious 
poor ; and by kindness and admonition to bring in the 
way of salvation those that know not God. 

How much is implied in living as a Christian ; in walk- 
ing with God P 



A letter, of which the following is an extract, was written a 
short time before her marriage : — it is open and honest, and a pro- 
ber model for all epistles on a similar subject. 

To Mr. John Cooper. 

Aug. 7, 1811. 
M Such a letter, from such a friend, at such a time de- 
mands something more than mere verbal acknowledg- 
ment. Ere this, my dearest friend, you must have dis- 
covered how alive my feelings are to attentions, and the 
contrary. Neither apathy nor indifference is at all con- 
stitutional with me. Hence the affection you so kindly, 
?o warmly express, will be duly prized, and in due time 



MRS. COOPER. 137 

properly returned. Were the happy talent of giving ex- 
traordinary pleasure in the epistolary way mine, you 
should now receive an answer worthy of the affectionate 
letter before me, which afforded me more pleasure than I 
choose to express. You have taught me to believe that 
silence is very expressive. In this way, then, accept and 
believe me most grateful for the undeviating proofs of 
your attachment, at once pleasing and to me so invalu- 
able. 

As our acquaintance will soon assume a more import- 
ant and very different aspect, I am unwilling to allow the 
present opportunity (perhaps the last I shall in this way 
have) to pass, without telling you of the very great profit 
I have already derived from our happy intercourse. The 
most entire and happy union certainly subsists between 
us on all subjects. We alike soar, renouncing the world 
in every sense, as any model for our domestic procedure, 
1 The Bible is our one book, and from that pure fountain 
1 trust our streams of happiness will flow.' 

I cannot but indulge a sweet confidence that that God, 
who by his providence has brought us to regard each 
other as we now do, will enable me to be every thing re- 
quisite to your happiness. I have such an entire reliance 
on that promise, ' I can do all things through Christ that 
strengthened me ;' and, if I maybe allowed the expres- 
sion, have so much spiritual ambition, that what formerly 
made me shrink as impossible, I can now expect without 
fear. Faith is omnipotent. By prayer only can we hold 
converse with the Deity, and thus be changed from glory 
into glory. 

Hammersmith, August 10, 1811. 

I scarcely know, my dear Miss W , which of two 

motives niore powerfully influences me in addressing you 
at this time ; the request of my dear father, or the desire 
I feel to express the sympathy with which my bosom 
glows at the affecting picture of distress depicted in your 
letter to my father. I do, indeed, most affectionately 
feel for you ; and the only expression I can give of it is 
to direct your mind to those sources of pure and perma- 
nent happiness which remain secure, and must flourish 
amidst the changes and perpetual vicissitudes of human 
life. 

12* 



138 DIARY OF 

I cannot allow myself to think that the accident your 
dear mother has met with, is of itself likely to prove of 
any serious consequence. Those effects, pain, &c, you 
mention, naturally follow such a concussion of the whole 
frame. I once had a similar accident. 

How far the previous weakness of your dear parent 
may operate against a speedy and entire recovery I know 
not : my earnest prayer shall be, that a life so invaluable, 
so much desired, may long be granted to you. 

That many years of health, if it be the will of God, 
may yet be your portion, and that of your amiable 
mother ; and that the successive afflictions, with which 
you have been visited, may ultimately prove to you 

* blessings in disguise.' O my dear Miss W , true 

religion is, indeed, a powerful charm ; it can do what the 
philosopher's stone has done fabulously * turn all that it 
touches into gold. When that veil opaque, which natu- 
rally covers our hearts, is thrown aside, we discover a 
Being of infinite benevolence, who in first giving his Son 
for our ransom, denies us nothing else, but dips every 
seeming painful arrow into love ; and tries us here, that 
we may be fitted for the pure and peaceful enjoyment of 
himself in the world above. Would the dross ever be 
separated from the gold, think you, my dear friend, were 
it merely to lie exposed to the meridian sun ? no. 
That genial warmth would leave the gross particles un- 
extracted : in some cases it must be purified seven times 
in the furnace. Let us apply this to unclouded prosper- 
ity ; and take a view of the state of our hearts and hopes, 
when our expectations beat high with present enjoy- 
ments and future prospects. The world, how desirable ! 
That Being, who sustains our lives, whose penetrating 
eye is ever upon us, and who by mercies momentarily 
dispensed, lays claim to our love, is perhaps the last re- 
membered. Though we thus forget him, he remembers 
us : earthly props are withdrawn ; sickness demands 
reflection ; the sly scythe of time mows down, with' un- 
relenting hand, the objects of our present love ; and 
when thus left to the solitude of our hearts, the fascina- 
tions of the world sicken and fade from our view. 'Tis 
then the Father of the fatherless extends his arms to re- 
ceive his returning child. Read the sweet parable of 



3IRS. COOPER. 13 l J 

the prodigal in Luke xv. Let ine entreat you, my dear, 
to read and prize the Book of God. We naturally attach 
importance to a remedy that has been tried, and proved 
effectual ; especially if the individual who prescribes it 
has had personal proof of its efficacy. Allow me then, 
from my experience (a present happy possession) of its 
value, to urge upon you to make religion the paramount 
desire of your heart. Life is a bitter draught without it ; 
religion is a purifying, exalting, tranquillizing principle. 
It makes the yoke of duty easy, the burden of care light. 
In the words of an eiegant writer, i It is the knowledge 
of Him, whom to know is wisdom, whom to fear is rec- 
titude, whom to love is happiness ' A sweet epitome of 
its worth ! This is such a darling theme of mine, that I 
am apt to dwell long upon it ; but I could never express 
the tenth part of the happiness I have found in those 
ways, which the wise man declares to be paths of peace 
and pleasantness : but religion to me was merely a sys- 
tem of restraints, until I obeyed the divine injunction, 
and gave God my heart; and of course gave up the world. 
For inspiration declares, * If any man love the world, the 
love of the Father is not in him:' and believe me, my 
dear, a true taste of heaven-born enjoyments gives us an 
effectual disrelish for the irrational and frothy pleasures 
of the world. 

When we travel round the world within, and hold 
converse with 

- ' a stranger there 



Of high descent, and more than mortal rank. 

An embryo God, a spark of fire divine, 
Which must burn on for ages, when the sun, 
Fair transitory creature of a day, 
Has closed his golden eye. 

There are moments when we can rejoice in being en- 
dued with immortality, and when we can feel our souls 
elevated with a view of that infinite price paid on the 
cross by Him ' who wept that we might smile, who bled 
that we might never die.' We must not forget the golden 
chain let down from heaven to save a sinking world ; but 
avail ourselves of that mysterious mean left open for 
holding intercourse with the Father of our spirits by 
prayer, the noblest employment of created beings ot 



140 DIARY OF 

earth ; the elevation of the soul toward its Maker. 
that you, my dear friend, in this season of affliction, of 
painful suspense, may find, in approaching the Saviour 
of a lost world, that peace and composure, that resigna- 
tion and acquiescence, which he waits to bestow ; for he 
hath said, ' Ask, and you shall receive ; seek, and you 
shall find.' 

As I hope you will have inclination, as well as time, to 
read a long letter, I shall not apologize for having fol- 
lowed the present dictates of my inclination : I cannot 
doubt that you will regard the motives pure and affection- 
ate. In any way to alleviate the sorrows and sufferings 
of my fellow creatures is the prime luxury of my life ; 
and to direct their attention toward those sources of 
happiness, I have proved is only a slight return of grati- 
tude to that Being who so peculiarly blesses me. What 
more shall I say to sooth you ? May the mind of your 
dear parent be supported under her affliction ; and when 
oppressed with pain and weakness, may the everlasting 
arms be beneath her. By an interest in the Saviour, may 
she be raised from the ruins of the fall, and have a glo- 
rious hope of happiness beyond the grave. Time is but 
the infancy of our being ; but it is our state of probation ; 
and therefore consequences of infinite value attach to the 
present moment ; and the words of our incarnate God 
are, ' Verily I say unto you, except ye be born again ye 
eanno* see the kingdom of God. 7 

I hope I have not wearied you, my dear Miss W f 

with the subject. I have pressed it the more on your 
attention from the vein of seriousness so observable in 
your letter, and knowing it to be the only thing adapted 
to satisfy creatures endued with immortality. I have 
ventured to dwell largely on the importance of answering 
the great end of our existence. All that I have said is de- 
rived from that Book which we all receive as inspiration. 

My dear mother feels exceedingly for you in your 
trials. Present our kind remembrances to your dear 
mother § and believe me to remain, 

Yours, very affectionately, 
Mart Hanson, 



MRS. COOPER. 141 

Hammersmith, Aug. 20, 1811. 

My dear Miss W — My last letter was the result off 
sympathy and condolence, and I hope the progressive 
amendment of your dear mother's health will justify the 
present being a congratulatory one. I rejoice with you 
in the prospect of her restoration, and I trust God will 
put efficacy in the means used for the establishment of 
her general health. 

I am induced to' reply to your kind letter now, (for which 
I thank you,) from the probability that for a considerable 
time to come a variety of new engagements will fully 
occupy my mind: indeed, at the present moment, it is 
with difficulty I can allow any scribbling time ; so that 
should this letter be shorter than yours, you will make 
every due allowance. It is no trifling circumstance, my 

dear Miss W , to be on the point of leaving a home 

endeared by all the pleasing varieties of childhood and 
youth ; to quit the superintendence of dear parents, 
&c. &c. ; to commence new relations and new engage- 
ments : both in retrospect and prospect there is full occu- 
pation for the mind. 

With me, I must thankfully acknowledge both to be 
tinctured with a pleasing hue. I feel reason to rejoice 
that the formation of a connexion, so all important, was 
not made at an earlier period of my life, when my feelings 
would have been far more consulted than my judgment: 
that I was not permitted hastily to choose a companion, 
when uninfluenced by religion, I might have selected 
one destitute of that only bond of permanent domestic 
happiness. That this principle is the only security for 
its continuance, is my most deliberate judgment, after 
much reflection and observation. I cannot express to 
you how endearing is a union of hearts in religion, where 
mutual hopes and aims are directed toward objects pure, 
lovely, and permanent ; with the animating expectation, 
that when this mortal shall put on immortality, 

1 Together both their happy spirits fly, 
To scenes where love and bliss immortal reigns.' 

After a most happy intimacy, both epistolary and per- 
sonal, of twelve months. I shall, if God permit, surrender 
myself to one of the most amiable of men on Tuesday 



*42 DIARY OF 

next ; a period I ean regard without the least anxiety, 
because convinced of the unerring guidance of Providence, 
and of the entire suitability of the individual I lore. 

I should not have said so much to you on this subject, 
dear Miss W— — , but for the desire I feel, that as you 
possess such pious views, you would never enter on a 
connexion so important, without imploring the guidance 
and direction of Heaven ; and making piety a first consi- 
deration in your choice. 

Religion is interwoven with all my hopes and plans of 
happiness : it is a sweet ingredient in the bitter draught 
of life ; it is a perennial spring in the very centre of the 
heart : — it is all we need to make us happy here and 
for ever. 

It gives me much pleasure to hear you speak so de- 
cidedly of your love and preference of piety, and of your 
habitual perusal of the word of God. May the Divine 
Spirit more and more enlighten our minds to comprehend 
its treasures and estimate its worth. 

I expect to return from Wales in about three weeks, 
when I shall be happy to hear from you. By that time I 
hope your good mother will be restored to a more deci- 
sive state of health. Time will not allow me to enlarge : 
you will accept the intention, and believe me to remain 
Your very affectionate, 

Mary Hanson. 



Shortly before her marriage her mind was more than ever im- 
pressed with the importance of the step she was about to take ; 
with the new situation to which she thought herself so evidently 
called by Divine Providence 5 with the various relations in which 
she must shortly stand, and the duties which, in each of those 
relations, she must conscientiously discharge. Her feelings, views, 
and reflections, on these subjects, are well expressed in the fol- 
lowing passages. 

DIARY. 

August 8, 1811. 

It is the peculiar privilege of the mind, properly in- 
fluenced by the spirit of religion, to extract good from 
apparent evil ; and from the chequered circumstances of 



3IRS. COOPER. 143 

life, to view the overruling and kind intentions of a God 
of love, in every thing* 

A review of the past inspires confidence in the future. 

When I take a survey of my past life, from the period 
reason began to operate, I can trace the guidance of an 
Almighty hand ; and can adore that wisdom and love 
which have made even seeming hinderances a real help 
to the knowledge of himself. 

All my domestic trials, the moral school in which I 
have been disciplined, will I hope prove of continual 
benefit to me in future life. 

By being accustomed to have my stubborn will and 
inclinations crossed, my motives questioned, and my 
favourite schemes thwarted, a considerable measure of 
that self-will and self-importance, so natural to me, has 
received a powerful check ; and as I shall shortly, with 
the permission of Heaven, breathe in an atmosphere the 
most congenial to the sensibilities of my nature, I trust 
I shall duly prize and affectionately return them. 

I feel the advantage of what I have suffered : I can 
bear opposition ; and the natural independence of my 
mind, as far as it has been extravagant, has been thus 
much subdued. 

It is probable, if I had been allowed time for the at- 
tainment of knowledge, in reading, &c, my inclination 
would have been less ardent for it ; nor should I have 
accustomed myself so fully to employ every moment. I 
have learnt to enjoy solitude : a love of books first in- 
spired this ; and afterward a recollection of the little 
stores I had laid up in my mind, tended exceedingly to 
make me enjoy my oicn company. An important acqui- 
sition this. I have never known what ennui means, from 
my own experience. 1 1 have been taught too, to consider 
religion as nothing worth, unless its benign influences be 
shed on domestic life, by rectifying the tempers, and 
* making the crooked paths of nature even.' We must 
i by actions show our sins forgiven.' 

The restoration of the lost image of GotJ, can mean 
nothing less than the implantation of the meek and lowly 
mind of Jesus. 

I find too, that it is profitable to give up one's owi^ 
will in little things ; to avoid pertinacity, and rather^ 



144 DIARY OF 

yield, though unconvinced, than rouse in the opponent 
those evil passions of pride and malevolence, so baneful 
in their consequences. 

Punctuality in family arrangements is of vast import- 
ance; properly to divide time, and to be diligent in 
whatever you are about. Example is far more powerful 
than precept. Enforce nothing in your family, if it be a 
sacrifice you are not willing to make yourself. It is a 
most pleasing consideration, that the dear friend, with 
whom I hope to spend the residue of my days, on all 
these subjects thinks with me ; with this difference, with 
him it has long been practice ; with me, at present, it is 
little more than theory. 

August 17, 1811. 

How does the prospect of witnessing and manifesting 
the influential principle of religion in domestic life, cheer 
my heart and brighten my prospects ? Under the roof 
of my dearest friend I feel assured I shall perpetually 
breathe an atmosphere congenial to my wishes. Peace 
is an invaluable possession, and most scrupulous shall I 
ever feel for its preservation, • 

' The spirit, like a peaceful dove, flies from the haunts 
of noise and strife.' How would it pain my heart, could 
I believe myself capable, or disposed to render, by inten- 
tional or unintentional remarks, one member of my family 
a prey to an hour's grief. I trust it will be my continual 
aim, by the help of God, to make all happy around me, 
and to manifest the real spirit of piety in every transaction 
of my life. 

All I have learnt in the schools of reading and expe- 
rience, must there be brought into action. Mental ac- 
complishments avail little indeed, unless they regulate 
the heart, and cause the benefit to be more felt than^ 
seen. I must not display, but act ; love, and be beloved. 
There must be a sentry at my heart, that must be kept ; 
for out of it proceeds all that tends to disquietude. I 
must sacrifice in little things ; beware of pertinacity ; in 
short, beware of every thing that shall cause the slightest 
interruption of that peace, which to me appears so highly 
desirable, and which cannot be sufficiently prized. 



:\iks. cooper. 145 

August 21, 1811, 
i i'eei thankful that I did not, at an earlier period of 
my life, enter into the important engagements near at 
hand. Such an occurrence would have deprived me of 
the many invaluable opportunities I had of laying in a 
store of useful knowledge, both by reading and observa- 
tion. I trust that now, my judgment is sufficiently 
matured to justify the desire and hope I have that the 
new and important relations on which I shall enter will 
be filled with that propriety which is the result of a well* 
regulated mind. ' As in the superintendence of the uni= 
verse, wisdom is seen in its effects, and as they proceed 
with beautiful regularity, not of chance, but by design j 
so that management which seems the most easy, is com- 
monly the consequence of the best concerted plan ; and 
a well-concerted plan is seldom the offspring of an ordi- 
nary mind. A sound economy is a sound understanding 
brought into action. The more a woman's judgment is 
rectified, the more accurate views she will take of the 
station she is born to fill ; and the more readily will she 
accommodate herself to it.' These remarks of my fa- 
vourite author I appropriate to myself. I feel their 
force, and wish to act upon them. I shall indeed have 
read and though* in vain, unless I fill up the domestic 
circle with more propriety and usefulness than those who 
have either wanted time or inclination for the same ra- 
tional pursuits. What a happiness is the assurance, that 
the intended partner of my life entertains the same views, 
and will help me by his counsel and advice to fulfil my 
plans and intentions ; and, above all, that God will con= 
descend to assist me by his grace, to act in all things as 
becomes the character of a Christian. 

Sunday, August 25, 1811. 
I would adore and magnify thy holy name, most holy 
God and heavenly Father, for the countless mercies be- 
stowed upon me beneath this parental roof. Richly en= 
dowed with the gifts of Providence, and the better 
blessings of thy grace, I have been long called upon by 
love and gratitude wholly to devote myself to thy service, 
Lord, thou knowest how sincerely and how frequently I 
have done this, It is my daily privilege to live raomen- 
13 



146 DIARY OF 

tarily on the charity of heaven ;— -the blessed dependanee 
of true believers. Thou art all-sufficient; therefore I can 
now look up and expect the blessing I so peculiarly need 
at this time. In thy fear, God, shall I enter on the 
solemn engagements of Tuesday next. condescend 
there to meet us ; and at the sacred altar do thou manifest 
thyself to our souls. In the days of thy incarnation 
thou didst honour the institution with thy divine pre- 
sence ; and though withdrawn from our bodily eyes, yet 
thou hast still immediate access to all spirits. 

Dearest Redeemer ! wilt thou not bless thy children ? 
Wilt thou not speak sweet peace to those who pant for 
no other joys than those which flow from thee ? Thou 
wilt : past experience encourages me to trust thee. O 
that every good and desirable end may be accomplished 
by this providence. 

May we live, blessings approved of heaven : epistles 
known and read of all men ; lights of the world ; and to 
thy name shall be all the glory. 

Here I close my Hammersmith journal, with senti- 
ments of gratitude to God. O may the new era of my 
life, at hand, abundantly further my immortal interests ; 
and to Father^ Son, and Holy Ghost, be endless praisesj 
amen, and amen ! 

M. H." 



Miss Hanson's marriage with Mr. Cooper took place, according 
to appointment, on August 27, 1811, with the most favourable aus- 
pices, and, humanly speaking, with the promise of every blessing, 
spiritual and temporal. That the same principle actuated her heart 
and her conduct after marriage as before it, is well known to all who 
had the privilege of her acquaintance, and particularly from the 
subsequent passages in her journal. One thing it maybe necessary 
to remark, that owing to the general indisposition under which she 
laboured after her marriage, and which to some is the natural con- 
sequence of such a state, she suffered frequent depression of spirits: 
and this caused her to speak less favourably of her religious state 
than she might have done t— she was shortly to become a mother, 
and had to tread, to her, an unbeaten path. Hence she was often 
incapable of discerning between a state^of great nervous depres- 



MRS. COOPER. 147 

sioiij a frequent consequence of a state of pregnancy, and spiritual 
declension : her inexperience sometimes led her to form wrong 
conclusions. That she suffered much from the former, both in 
body and mind, her friends saw with deep concern : but they anti- 
cipated the pleasing hope, that the hour was continually approach- 
ingin which her wonted vigour of body and energy of mind would 
be restored ■, and experience fortify her against suffering so keenly 
in future, from undue apprehensions of her real state. That she 
had suffered no loss in her soul ; that her bow continued in una- 
bated strength 5 that her heart was increasingly right with God 5 
and that in proportion to her strength she was as diligent, yea, 
more abundant in all the means of grace, in the work of faith, 
patience of hope,, and labours of love, after her marriage, as before 
it, was easily marked by her spiritual instructers, and most obvious 
to the whole circle of her religious acquaintance. The poor and 
the distressed, for whom, with incessant diligence, she laboured 
till she died, can most forcibly tell the tale of her benevolent 
exertions ; for their sakes she often forgot herself, — ever feeling, 
that in all situations of life, and in all circumstances of health, she 
was called to glorify God, by doing good to man. It has been 
judged necessary to make these observations, lest from the manner 
in which she expresses herself in some parts of the succeeding 
journal, the inexperienced or unthinking might be led to suppose 
that her spiritual state was less prosperous after her marriage; 
whereas the reverse might, in all probability, be most safely main- 
tained, as her last days, and particularly her last hours, appear s& 
abundantly to demonstrate, 



Knighton, September 7, 1811 . 

Since I last wrote, the most important event of human 
life has been ratified, I trust, in heaven, as well as upon 
earth. We reached this place* on Saturday evening, 
August 31. 

I am truly happy with this dear family ; received with 
such uncommon affection ; the witness of so much piety ; 
so much domestic concord ; my mercies are without 
number. 

The residence of Mr. C. ? s father. " 



148 DIARY OF 

Sunday, September 1, 1811, 

At nine we went to the Methodist chapel here ; heard 
Mr. R. from * What shall I render unto the Lord for all 
his benefits which he hath done unto me.' At eleven, 
went to church, heard Mr. Morgan Evans, from ' And 
Enoch walked with God,' &c. I was much pleased with 
the simplicity of the preacher, and his views of the sub- 
ject. At six, heard Mr. Radford, at chapel. After the 
evening service, I and my dear husband had the great 
privilege of receiving the memorials of our Redeemer's 
love ; we found it a most profitable and delightful season 
to our souls, and were not a little thankful in having so 
early an opportunity after our union, of thus renewing 
our covenant with God. 

London, September 29, 1811. 

We returned home on the 20th instant, since which time 
I have been so fully engaged that I have found no time 
to make any little record of the various blessings I am 
now continually receiving. 'Peace, harmony, and love, 
the richest bounty of indulgent heaven,' cere ours. Happy 
in God and in each other, we feel our every breath should 
be praise. I wish, indeed, to evidence true devotion, by 
an unreserved consecration of all my powers and facul- 
ties to the service of my Master in heaven. I feel that 
as a Christian I am not to live to myself; nor am I to 
confine all my exertions to my own family. They have 
the first claim ; but am I not called upon to administer 
to the necessitous, and in various ways impart the bless- 
ings so profusely bestowed upon me ? 

I have been much blessed every sabbath since our 
marriage. How profitable is the Lord's day, when private 
intercourse tends to confirm the benefit received from pub^ 
lie instruction ; when nothing interrupts the sacred har- 
mony which ought to pervade the mind of the Christian. 

October 29, 1811. 

Although supremely blessed with every earthly enjoy- 
ment, yet have I, from various exercises of mind through- 
out the past month, been led to see the emptiness of every 
mere temporal good. For some days comfort was with- 
held ; and I felt a painful void at the absence of my hea- 
venly Father. In this state I was frequently led to feel 
the insufficiency of everv thing but God to make me 



MRS. COOPER. 149 

happy. In searching for the cause, I found that my pri- 
vate devotions had been more hurried than usual ; and 
that the intrusion of domestic concerns was allowed to 
encroach upon the time set apart for secret converse with 
God. As a consequence of this, perhaps 1 did not so set 
the Lord before me as to walk with him. Thus the Spi- 
rit of God was grieved, and my soul brought into heavi- 
ness through manifold temptations 

All this I deplored to Mrs. G. at my class, on the 21st. 
Her sensible admonitions were made truly profitable to 
me, and I returned home determined to seek till I found, 
once more, sensible peace with God. In a considerable 
degree it has been mercifully restored to me. [See the 
remarks in p. 146.] 

November 9, 1811. 

How necessary is it that God should remind u.s of the 
dissolving nature of our earthly tabernacle. When pain 
and languor seize the body, then 1 practically feel the 
insufficiency of all the temporal good I enjoy to make 
me happy I regard every memento of this sort as mer- 
cifully designed to wean my affections from the creature, 
and to make me feel that rest can only be found in hea- 
ven — in God. 

Since my marriage I have certainly had a very large 
increase of temporal peace and happiness ; but that I 
may not be exalted above measure, my heavenly Father 
has mingled in this cup of sweets a few unsavoury in- 
gredients. My health has been far less uninterrupted 
than before. 

'Choice befits notour condition. 
Acquiescence is the best.' 

If the Lord but visit me with the light of his counte- 
nance, and make the season of indisposition a time for 
divine communications, how cheerfully will I embrace 
all he appoints. I am sure he does all in love : and as I 
cannot let go the confidence I have that he is my Fa- 
ther ; so I believe he will pitifully weigh whatever chas- 
tisements he sees fit to exercise me with. I bless God I 
,feel superior to the influence of earthly baits to make 
me happv. 

13* 



1 50 DIARY OF 

December % 1811. 

Am I making progress in the divine life ? In answer 
to this inquiry, I must pause and reflect. I find my de- 
sires after full sanctification, and feel the necessity of it, 
as much as ever I did ; and though frequently cast down 
by my want of life in devotion, still I thirst after the 
living God, and desire a joyful sense of his presence, far 
more than any thing this world has to present. I have 
had to contend, for the last two months, with almost conti- 
nual pain and weakness of body. This is indeed quite a 
new trial to me, (health almost uninterrupted having 
heretofore been my portion,) and has tended very much 
to depress my spirits ; and from the close union betwixt 
body and soul, has perhaps caused much of the darkness 
I have mourned. Though a trying and unexpected ap- 
pointment, I feel quite sure that wisdom and love are con- 
spicuous in it. Were it not for this alloy, I should have 
nothing to prove to me that this is a state of discipline. 
Blessed in every other way, my hold of God, as the only 
satisfying portion, would be difficult indeed. I trust I 
have felt nothing like a disposition to murmur. As every 
month will bring me nearer to that important and trying 
event of which I have always had so uncommon a dread, 
and once such dismal forebodings, I trust the grace of God 
will be imparted more abundantly ; and that as I shall 
need, so I shall have imparted an increase of faith to trust 
Him who has promised to hear and answer in the day 
of trouble. 

January 19, 1812. 

What abundant reason have I to bless and magnify 
the name of the Lord, that he has not withdrawn the 
refreshing influences of his Holy Spirit from my soul ; 
and although my devotedness to him, and love to his 
name, have borne no proportion to his benefits toward 
me ; yet still he quickens me, and has of late in an 
abundant measure, caused me to hunger and thirst after 
his righteousness. On the last day of the year 1 was 
much depressed in mind ; and on self-examination found 
very great cause for deep humiliation before him ; espe- 
cially during some of the latter months. God had mul- 
tiplied in rich abundance my means of grace, of spirit- 
ual improvement, and temporal enjoyment: and yet, 



MRS* COOPER. 151 

alas ! I had been in danger of ungratefully resting more 
in the gift than the Giver. Deeply convinced of my in- 
gratitude, after spending some time in prayer with my 
beloved husband, for the quickening influences of God's 
Spirit, we went to the watch-night at Queen-street cha- 
pel, where God so blessed the service, and in particular 
Dr. Clarke's sermon, that I left my burden behind me, 
and found liberty afresh to give myself up to God. From 
that period I have felt myself like a new creature. God 
has been near to me in prayer, and his Spirit has ren- 
dered effectual every means of grace. 

On the 4th, I went to Hammersmith ; and again found 
waiting upon God, in my favourite chapel there, very 
good and refreshing. In the afternoon the covenant was 
renewed, in which I found great libeity and sweetness. 
At the Lord's table my vows received a double confirma- 
tion. To be altogether the Lord's, to walk closely with 
him, and to strive to follow him in all things, has been, 
and is now, through divine assistance, my firm purpose 
and intention. I have been of late deeply convinced of 
my own insufficiency ; and if I remain steadfast in my 
present purposes, I am sensible it must be by the power 
of God through Jesus Christ alone. At present I find 
much peace, and power to cast all my care upon him : 
and am led very earnestly to entreat God that he will 
sanctify the happy union which has taken place during 
the past year ; and that he will make my dear husband 
more abundantly instrumental to my good, and me to 
his. I must watch and pray continually. 

The mercies of God, which so richly encompass mc, 
' are trials, not rewards, 1 and I find myself more in danger 
of growing careless, from the profusion of his gifts, than 
I perhaps should do were they imparted with a more 
sparing hand. By the mercies of God, then, let me be 
constrained to present my body and soul, a living sacri- 
fice, holy and acceptable in his sight. Should these bene- 
fits be misimproved, or slighted, may I not justly fear 
their being withdrawn or diminished? 0, thou heavenly 
benefactor, who hast so peculiarly distinguished me with 
thy benefits, let me, by thy grace, be as eminently dis- 
tinguished for my faith, love, humility, and zeal for thy 
service ! Help me to live to thee ; that to please thee in 



152 DIARY OF 

all things may be my habitual aim, and my never-failing 
spring of comfort. I dare not ask at thy hands either 
comforts or crosses ; but I do ask to have no will but 
thine ; and to have the features of my dear Redeemer 
more and more impressed, in living characters, on my 
heart. let me know what it is to have a constantly 
indwelling God ! 

March 11, 1812. 

My religious experience has of late been very variable. 
To sit loose to the world, is a difficult, though necessary 
duty. I feel without it I cannot make progress in divine 
things, nor enjoy the peace which passeth understand- 
ing : and without this, all my other enjoyments are 
nugatory and void. O Lord, quicken thou my soul. 
Rich as I am in worldly blessings, without thy love I am 
poor and destitute indeed. My late experience has led 
me more than ever to feel my own utter insufficiency 
without the constant aid of the Spirit of God. God has 
visited me with much bodily pain and debility. I hear 
his voice in it, and am fully persuaded it is a visit of 
mercy. But is it yet say&tified ? alas ! not as it should, 
nor as it might have been, A review of this, on the last 
sabbath, caused me brokenness of spirit. ■ Weary and 
heavy-laden I went to the Lord, and found myself much 
relieved and encouraged to fight against these opposers 
of my spiritual life. I must not live at a distance from 
the supreme Good. In times past I have partaken of the 
heavenly manna, and drank of the fountain of life freely 5. 
and it is still open. O that I may now exercise faith on 
my Lord and Saviour, and seek for grace every moment, 
that every evil tendency may be quelled as it rises ! [See 
the remarks in p. 146.] 

I am all need and helplessness ; yet I desire nothing 
so much as the removal of whatever tends to separate 
me from my heavenly Father. My marriage too lays me 
under increasing obligations to devote myself to God, 
who has bestowed upon me the best earthly blessing. I 
am called to new duties, which require peculiar grace 
properly to discharge them. O Lord, I will renew my 
dedication to thy service. Baptize me afresh with thy 
Holy Spirit, and sanctify bodily affliction. O may it be the 



MRS. COOPER. 153 

<one desire of my soul to gain more and more of the divine 
image, and to be increasing in holiness and meetness for 
the eternal world ! 

My present circumstances ought certainly to make me 
familiar with death and its consequences. J know not 
that I shall survive the trying hour of childbirth : at any 
rate, I shall then especially need the supports and com- 
forts of true religion, and the presence of God, which to 
some he so mercifully imparts at that awful period. O 
that I may now be found faithful to the grace given ! 

April 26, 1812. 

I have devoted some hours of this sacred day to a se» 
rious examination of the state of my heart before God, 
and have found cause enough to be deeply humbled and 
abased, on the review of the little improvement I have 
made of the numerous advantages I enjoy. 

The hour of trial is with me fast approaching, in which 
I shall have especial need of the presence of my heavenly 
Father, to give me patience to bear suffering, and to 
resign myself wholly to his disposal. The veil which 
separates me from the eternal world may be soon drawn 
aside. that I may be very careful rightly to improve 
the few remaining weeks previously to my confinement, 
in more frequent approaches to a throne of grace ; that 
I may enjoy sweet communion with the Father of my 
spirit ! May I study more attentively the blessed word 
of, God, that its promises maybe the support of my mind 
— the food of my soul ! 

Every page of the preceding work has been gradually preparing 
the reader for the solemn issue ! In a short time after she wrote 
the above, which is the end of her Diary, this excellent woman 
passed triumphantly through the valley of the shadow of death^ 
which she appears to have so long anticipated. The forebodings 
of her own mind tended much to unnerve her already deeply 
depressed frame ; and caused her to fall a readier victim to death. 



154 DIARY Of 

The following account of her last moments has been drawn up 
by Mr. Cooper. 

" For several weeks before the confinement of my dear 
wife, she seemed to enjoy the public means of grace, as 
well as family worship, in a more than ordinary degree. 

The day before her confinement, viz. Sunday, June 14, 
she was very unwell, and could not attend public worship 
in the morning; but being considerably better in the 
evening, we went to St. Mary Woolnoth, to hear our es- 
teemed friend, Mr. Pratt. She very much enjoyed this op- 
portunity ; and on our return home we spent about three 
quarters of an hour together in mutual prayer and sing- 
ing several hymns : we then called our family to prayer. 
Just before retiring to rest, she said, that although she" 
had not been able to attend the house of God in the 
morning, her soul had been greatly refreshed throughout 
the day. 

The following morning, June 15, she was sensible that 
the time of trial was approaching. She was very cheer- 
ful, and several times expressed her confidence that God 
would be with her and support her. A little after mid- 
night she was safely delivered of a fine boy : there was 
nothing attending the labour to give any ground of alarm ; 
and through the whole of Tuesday she was as well as 
could be expected ; but in the evening dangerous symp- 
toms appeared. The best medical advice was obtained 
as soon as possible ; but from this night she thought she 
should not recover : she said to the nurse, ' I shall die ;' 
who replied, ' If it should be the will of God, I hope you 
are not afraid of death.' She answered, ' O no !' On 
Sunday morning she altered so much for the worse, that 
scarcely any hope remained. As the strictest injunctions 
were laid upon us by the physicians to keep her as quiet 
as possible, I had very little conversation with her after 
her confinement ; but she appeared to be in a comfortable 
and resigned state. 

On Monday morning, June 22, perceiving there was 
no human probability of her recovery, I thought it my 
duty to inquire the state of her mind ; and after praying 
with her, (in every petition she heartily joined,) I said, 
' Wlmt a mercy it is, my love, that we have a God to look 



MRS. COOPER. 155 

10 m all circumstances. ' ' Yes,' she replied, ' and I have 
not far to go: he is very near to me. 1 I said, l God is our 
refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trou- 
ble : do you find him so?' She answered, 'Yes, I do.' 
At another time she said, ' I am very happy ; I have no 
fear? I asked, ' Is Christ precious to you ? do you find 
him near ?' She said, ' Yes, very near to bless : he says 
to me, I am thine, and thou art mine.'' 

Having left the room, in a short time she said to my 
sister Mary, ' Tell my dear husband to come here.' 
When I went she said again, c 1 am very happy. 1 ' What 
makes you happy?' ' My Jesus,' she replied, and then 
repeated, 

4 This life's a dream, an empty show. 
But that bright world to which I go 
Hath joys substantial and sincere ; 
When shall I wake and find me there ?' 

1 Jesus is the rock of ages ; he is my rock. Bless the 
Lord, my soul, and all that is within me bless his holy 
name.' When the nurse inquired if she recollected a 
Psalm she had been repeating, she immediately said, 
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation ; whom shall I 
fear ? The Lord is the strength of my heart ; of whom 
shall I be afraid ?' 

When I returned I found her in the same happy state 
of mind, saying, ' Glory be to God in the highest : glory 
be to God in the highest: I have experienced a glorious 
elevation of mind ! It is all over. 1 Afterward, to my sister 
she said, ' Mary, can we ever doubt such a Saviour V 
and added, ' Come unto me all ye that fear God, and I 
will tell you what he hath done for my soul !' and then 
turning to her sister, said, ' You can praise God j cannot 
you, Mary?' 

She was continually repeating the promises of God, 
and observed, ' What a promise-keeping God we have ! 
— Be not faithless, but believing. ' When her sister inquired 
if she found the Lord to be her refuge and strength in 
this time of need, she answered with much fervency, c O 
yes !' and then putting her hands together, and fixing her 
eyes upward, she said, ' Clap your hands, all ye people ; 
come and let us exalt his name together.' She then be- 
gan to pray in great earnestness, often saying, * Bless the 



156 I>IARY ©F 

Lord, O my soul.' She afterward repeated some lines 
from the hymns of Dr. Watts, among which the follow- 
ing were nearly the last words she uttered : — 

1 My flesh shall slumber in the ground, 
Till the last trumpet's joyful sound \ 
Then burst the chains with sweet surprise. 
And in my Saviour's image rise.' 

She was then seized with that convulsion which de- 
prived her of her senses ; and in a little time her happy 
spirit, freed from its earthly tabernacle, ascended to that 
Saviour in whom she believed, and in communion with 
whom, for several years of her life, her chief happiness 
consisted. 

She fell asleep in Jesus, on Monday, June 22, 1812, at 
a quarter past two in the afternoon, in the twenty-sixth 
year of her age." 



A few extracts from Mrs. Cooper's letters to her religious cor- 
respondents will interest the reader. They argue, as her other 
writings do, an enlightened and well-cultivated mind, as well as 
a friendly and pious heart. Some of those extracts which are in- 
scribed to Miss M. were written by Miss H. while she was under 
deep concern relative to her intended matrimonial connexion, and 
some others, immediately after. She saw the absolute necessity of 
having a decidedly religious companion, if any, to accompany her 
in the path of religion. She had seen, and she had heard, that 
those young persons who had taken up the cross of Christ, and 
afterward married irreligious, or not thoroughly decided religious 
characters, either ' turned back to perdition, or had a cross the 
most afflictive to bear throughout life.' The advices and directions 
in these letters are too excellent to be slightly regarded ; and it 
may be hoped have had their due influence on the person to whom 
they were addressed ; nor can any to whom they may be appli- 
cable consult them without profit. 

Hammersmith, July 22, 1811. 
My dear Miss M. — Various and pressing engagements 
have prevented me from earlier assuring you of the plea- 
sure your kind letter (which I regard as the commence- 
ment of our correspondence) afforded me* As I gave your 



3IRS. COOPER. lo? 

reasons for delay their full weight, I am inclined to trans- 
pose the words of Pope, and say, ' The mercy I to you 
have shown, that mercy show to me.' 1 have certainly 
found epistolary communications one of the sweets of ce- 
libacy ; and although on the verge of quitting it, with its 
many advantages, do not despair of finding, amid the more 
multiplied engagements of domestic life, time to remem- 
ber, in this way, you, my dear friend, and some others, 
who have long had a claim on my friendship. Common 
maxims, and those which guide people ordinarily, are no 
standard for me ; and the too frequent result of marriage, 
that of contracting the heart, chilling the affections, and 
confining one's exertions merely to the precincts of a 
fireside and a family, are unenviable consequences ; and 
into those I hope to be in no danger of falling. To avoid 
it, I am fully aware of the necessity of redeeming time, 
and acting on a digested plan, that hours and days may 
not succeed each other, without bearing on their wings, 
at least, some essays to do good. Our correspondence, 
my dear friend, I am disposed to hope will be somewhat 
productive of this disposition j and as we are both alive 
to the importance and luxury of exercising our talents 
and influence in a good cause, so I trust we shall have 
freedom and sincerity enough to suggest to each other 
whatever may prove of personal or relative advantage. 
Should I insensibly slide into matrimonial supineness, and 
myself become a prey to the inactivity I so often see and 
so much deplore in others, you, dear Miss M., must 
rouse me, and tell me of the enjoyment of revolving 
round a larger orbit of usefulness. When it first was 
known among my friends that I was turning my thoughts 
toward Methodism, one of them used jocosely to tell me, 
iny religion was ' up and be doing.' A part of it cer- 
tainly is. It is this spirit which benefits the world ; and 
our Lord and Master, in his errand of benevolence — in 
his seeking continual occasions of doing good, has left us 
an example, which, in our degree, it is our duty and 
interest to follow. Thus did the Star of Jacob pierce 
through the dark clouds of poverty and reproach ; and 
by the lustre of his deeds proclaim the divinity of his 
nature. He shall be our pattern and our guide. We 
^vill lose sight of the world, and seek after a growing 
14 



158 DIAKY OF 

resemblance to the bright and morning Star, that we may 
be lucid gems in his crown for ever. I cannot but reflect, 
with a degree of astonishment, on the early and strict 
discipline you exercised over your heart. You early 
manifested a taste for that true wisdom, of which the 
poet speaks, 

1 Man, know thyself, all wisdom centres here.' 

You were then under the bondage of self-denial. Now 
you know the omnipotent power of divine love, which 
can make even self-denial a joy! No obedience will be 
lasting but that which flows from this heaven-born prin- 
ciple : it is this alone which makes the service of God 
perfect freedom. It is this which reconciles the para- 
doxes in our religion, — ' As sorrowful, yet always re- 
joicing, — as poor, yet making many rich, — as having 
nothing, yet possessing all things.' I sensibly feel, my 
dear Miss M., your candour in giving me such an insight 
into your heart. If the portrait were faithful, it was not 
a flattering one ; but that new nature we are called to 
put on — that light of life it is our privilege to walk in, 
will, I trust, effect an entire revolution of our habits, 
principles, and pursuits ; and our memorandum-book, to 
the glory of divine grace, will record a happy change, 
from the service of the world to the service of God. 
You have sweetly described the change, my dear friend ; 
I rejoice with you. guard the sacred fire, and do 
not let it evaporate and extinguish, by distracting its 
source. Nothing can lead to God which has not pro- 
ceeded from him. We are naturally averse from him, 
and every thing within us opposes the operation of those 
fruits of the Spirit, which it has lately been your happi- 
ness to testify. We are transitory creatures of a day. 
God addresses us as such, and warns us against anxious 
care for the morrow. Therefore, it is your privilege and 
mine to live a life of momentary dependance on the cha- 
rity of Heaven ; that we may continually be fed with the 
bread and water of life. For want of this, how much I 
have lost ! Such a proneness to look forward, without 
faith j a sad species of unbelief. ' Jesus Christ is the 
same, yesterday, to-day, and for ever.' His hands of 
love and mercy are ever spread out in our behalf. 



3IRS. COOPER. 159 

To Miss M. 

August 17, 1811. 

My dear friend — Circumstances have hitherto proved 
rather unfavourable to the cultivation both of our epis- 
tolary and personal intercourse. The balance is cer- 
tainly against me ; and if your candour toward a friend 
keeps at all pace with it toward yourself, you will, in 
consideration of pressing and important engagements, in- 
demnify me from any intentional or avoidable neglect. 

It is no trifling thing, dear Miss M., to be on the verge 
of quitting scenes endeared by all the varieties of youth- 
ful experience, the residence of one's whole life. Parents, 
the instruments of those comforts, and friends knit to my 
heart by the bonds of Christian love. Those things afford 
no inconsiderable exercise for the mind. The change, 
though important, is pleasing, when viewed as the result 
of that guidance, promised to those who acknowledge 
God in their ways. There is a prospective happiness of 
being united in the Lord, quite inconceivable to those 
who have never experienced it. This remark I make for 
you, my dear friend, that you may guard your heart and 
affections, till that heavenly Parent, who has so narrowly 
and tenderly watched over you for good, shall clearly 
point out the path for your future life. Confidence in 
him is both a duty and a privilege. 

By way of apology only, have I devoted one page to a 
subject, not at all interesting to you, judging you by 
myself in former times. The inference I draw, as it re- 
gards us, is this : — that in the course of another month, 
the result of all my present bustle will afford me frequent 
opportunities of enjoying your society, and of inter- 
changing that oneness of object we have in view ; to me 
a very pleasing anticipation ; and in conjunction with 

yourself, our very dear friends at — , to whom I 

present my love. I beg one proof of its reciprocity, viz. 
a remembrance of me at a throne of grace on the 27tk 
instant. Will you, my dear friend, give this kind expres- 
sion also of your friendship. 

And now I will endeavour to answer your kind and 
acceptable letter. The dearest friends. I have, have a 
property in their disposition I rather think not natural to 



260 DIARY OF 

me, reserve: it having proved no 'obstruction, in those 
cases, to love and friendship, I was not at all disposed 
unfavourably to regard the same disposition which I cer- 
tainly noticed in you, in the first part of our first inter- 
view ; though I must assure you I consider the specimens 
I have had of you a very favourable omen of what is yet 
in store for us, should your stay in London be protracted. 
It affords me unspeakable pleasure, my dear friend, 
and I hope in some degree 1 am influenced by the same 
desire which you feel, of living to good purpose; and 
using talents and influence to the glory of that God and 
that cause we have both warmly and decidedly espoused. 
The good is incalculable, which one individual, truly 
devoted to God, may effect. Let us both pray for an. 
increase of that divine love, which shall make us run, 
and delight ourselves in the commandments of God. I 
can testify, from happy experience, how much the influ- 
ence of this blessed principle makes the path of duty 
easy ; and those requisitions of self-denial, &c, so severe 
and contrary to nature, are easy and delightful through 
grace. I have sometimes been enabled to appropriate to 
myself a line of Madame Guion's, * In self-denial is her 
joy.' It is not always thus with me ; but to the glory of 
divine grace, I must acknowledge I have found, and do 
find it in a happy measure. I once heard Mr. B. say, 
c Never rest satisfied with your religion till it makes 
you happy ;' — and nothing short of it does satisfy me ; 
nothing troubles me so much, as the hiding of God's 
countenance : — his smile is heaven — his approbation, 
bliss ; or in the words of an elegant writer, ' Whom to 
know, is wisdom — whom to fear, is rectitude — whom to 
love, is happiness.' What a mercy it is, dear Miss M., 
that from such pure sources, so early in life, we aro 
called to draw out our felicity ; and in surrendering our 
hearts to God, find that ample recompense, always con- 
nected with the sacrifice. My chief deficiency is a want 
of poverty of spirit, and my constitutional hinderance is 
levity of spirit ; not that I decry cheerfulness ; it is the 
element, and properly the privilege, of the Christian only. 
It is a something not so tranquil that I speak of; a some- 
thing which would not be allowed, were a proper sense 
of the omniscience of God dulv estimated and received. 



MRS. COOPER. lb" I 

I wish to show you something of the face of my soul, 
that we may mutually suggest hints for improvement, and 
recommend remedies we have proved effectual. 

London, March 7, 1812. 
My dear friend — I have been a little surprised in refer- 
ring to the date of your last kind favour, to find so much 
time elapsed since the receipt of it. The truth is, that 
my engagements are so much more numerous and press- 
ing now than formerly, that I must hope for the candour 
and allowances of my correspondents, if I fail in being 
as punctual as in the days of my celibacy. My domestic 
avocations were then comparatively nothing, and I am 
disposed to congratulate myself that my taste in those 
days led me to the improvement of my mental powers ; 
for the food I then derived, I must now live upon by 
rumination. And yet, my dear Miss M., so powerful are 
the charms of a happy union, that notwithstanding all I 
have conceded, I would not exchange the present for the 
past. Few indeed are so blessed in this state ; as I 
possess a partner, in whose upright conduct and conver- 
sation I constantly behold an object worthy of my closest 
imitation. One equally suitable, my dear friend, I trust 
Providence has in store for you. In a connexion so im- 
portant I trust you will not hastily conclude ; and believe 
me, there must be a great deal to compensate for the 
new cares and pains commonly resulting from marriage ; 
and there must be in the partner of your choice, a living. 
a decided piety, to counteract the tendency this new re- 
lation has to wed the heart more closely to the world. 
This is indeed my point of danger ; and I find daily need 
of peculiar grace, to have my chief treasure in heaven. 
You know, my dear friend, the interest I feel in your wel- 
fare. It is more than probable much time will not elapse 
ere a decision of this kind will take place , and much 
as you are disposed to glory in your present unembar- 
rassed situation, the chain of love may be thrown around 
your neck also, and lead you captive. Hitherto you 
have been the prey of much and accumulated anxiety ; 
and you have had alone to struggle with it. Now a 
suitable marriage may make you happier, and more at 
ease than vou have ever been, and give you the dearest 
14* 



162 DIARY OF 

friend you have ever had. But let it be your own choice ; 
and let your judgment guide your affections. You alone 
can be judge ; and above all, seek direction at His 
hands who has promised to direct the paths of those 
that love and fear him ; and who hath said, ' No good 
shall be withholden from them that walk uprightly.' 

Forgive me, my dear friend, if I have been intrusive 
or tedious on this subject. Regard all I have said as 
flowing from a real love to you, and regard for your weU 
fare. It is a momentous business ; and as I have tried 
the two states, I am convinced that nothing short of an 
entire union of mind and pursuits, ivith the purest affection, 
can counterbalance the new pains and anxieties com- 
monly resulting from the married state. With regard to 
my health, I still continue very poorly. This is a new 
and unlooked-for trial to me. I view it all in wisdom 
and love : but for it I should have no memento that this 
is a state of discipline, so free am I from every other 
trial. It sometimes leads me to look forward to that 
happy state, where the spirit will be no longer encum- 
bered by its clay tenement, but ' where it will soar with- 
out bound, without consuming glow.' God is teaching 
me another lesson, the inadequacy of every earthly good 
to satisfy my soul, without the continual enjoyment of 
his love and presence. I hope you, my dear friend, are 
going forward steadily in the ways of God, and that you 
again enjoy the simplicity and earnestness of a country 
society. When you write, I hope to hear you have be- 
come a visiter of the benevolent society you mention. 
Many important lessons may be learnt in the chambers 
of poverty and affliction : we are called to it by the ex- 
ample of our Divine Master, who left us the poor as his 
special legacy ; and who has stamped even poverty with 
dignity, by making it his own garb in the days of his 
incarnation. 

Preparations for the important event of next June oc- 
cupy a good deal of my time and attention ; as yet I do 
not think anxiously about it : I hope indeed that its ap- 
proximation will more and more stir me up to intimate 
communion with God, and to familiarity with that solemn 
event, which is the gate we must all pass through to 
heaven. Mv dear friend, if I have an interest in vour 



3IRS. COOPER, 163 

affections, let me also have in your prayers, that I may 
be fully prepared for life or death. 

To Miss W, 

June 5, 1812. 

My dear friend — I cannot express to you the concern 
and surprise your long silence has occasioned me ; par- 
ticularly since I had an intimation from your brother that 
you had left home in consequence of illness. I have 
been led to apprehend the worst that could befall you, 
as I thought the subject of my last letter (if you ever 
received it) would have led you at any rate, if you had 
but an interval of health or ease, to write me a few- 
lines before my confinement, of which I am now in daily 
expectation, I am now, and have been for some time 
past, very unwell, and incapable of exertion, so that I 
cease to wish the trying hour to be protracted. Re- 
specting you, I cannot feel easy until I hear of the state 
of your health and the cause of its decline. I feel inex- 
pressibly for you, dear Mary Ann, on that subject, which 
I fear is still involved in the same painful obscurity as to 
its issue, which has so long marked it. Pray relieve my 
mind by letting me know all respecting you ; and let me 
not have, in addition to the thoughtfulness connected 
with m^ present situation, to labour under imaginary 
forebodings relative to a friend who will ever be most 
dear to me. 

Since my marriage, God has given me every thing I 
could desire excepting health : in wisdom, no doubt, he 
has deprived me of this ; though I have reason to fear 
this dispensation has not been so sanctified to my souPs 
good as he designed it. A time of more severe trial 
awaits me ; and my only confidence is in that God who 
is all-sufficient to deliver me. I can repose in him, and 
feel peculiar consolation in reflecting on that chain of 
providence which led to our union. I feel I am still in 
the hands of the same Parent who superintends all our 
concerns. Allow me to beg of you, my dear friend, to 
remember me in your prayers. I and my beloved C. 
frequently remember you when bowed together at a 
throne of grace. 

The above letter, intended for Miss W« wa? left unfinished. 



164 DIARY OF 

The last letter she wrote was to her brother at Cambridge, from 
which the following is extracted. It is dated only ten days before 
tier confinement. 

To Mr, William Hanson, Cambridge, 

June 5, 1812. 
I cannot but think it will surprise you a little, my dear 
brother, to receive a letter from one, who, but for the 
multifarious engagements of a married life, would have 
been one of the first to have classed herself among your 
correspondents. ****** ^ s the most re- 
sponsible, the most dignified of offices awaits you, I trust 
that influence, which alone can render it a delightful and 
easy employ, will be more and more experienced by 
you — that moved, l in verity, by the Holy Ghost,' you may 
be made eventually the instrument of turning many of 
your fellow mortals to the path of life and happiness 
which our holy religion so fully sets forth. I am aware, 
from the nature of your present studies, of the difficulties 
you have to combat with, in cultivating that personal 
piety, which is so delightful and so necessary for the 
future discharge of duties of a pastoral nature. God 
will, 1 trust, abundantly sanctify to your good those 
energies of mind with which he has endued you, and 
that they will be directed toward the glorious abject of 
a minister of the gospel. 



I am almost a complete prisoner, very much indisposed 
in body, and in the daily expectation of an event, for 
which my mind can only derive support and confidence 
in making God my refuge. 

The efficacy of religion is but little known in hours of 
ease and days of prosperity ; — its benign and cheering 
influence is felt on the bed of pain and languishing, when 
all human help is impotent, and when death may receive 
Ms commission to unveil the eternal world. 

Life has to me now many more fascinations than it 
ever had before. God has bestowed upon me the best 
of earthly blessings, and I have known nothing like a 
trial since my marriage, but bodily indisposition ; a mer* 



3IRS. COOPER. 165 

ciful infusion in that cup of bliss, which otherwise might 
have intoxicated me. 

I need not tell you, my dearest William, the pleasure 
a letter from you will afford me. 

May the blessing of God attend you, my ever dear 
brother ; may your present studies conduce to your best 
interests, and in days to come, to the good of many I 
May you be kept from every snare, and be guided into 
all truth, and know more and more of the indwelling of 
that peace which passeth understanding ! My dear hus- 
band unites with me in kind love to you. Believe me 
ever to remain 

Your most affectionate sister, 

Mary Cooper, 



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